Naughty days?

[Creekimp13 5,841]

"NO JUDGEMENT!

Has anyone else had bad days like this? "

From my perspective, this is the part that caused the controversy.

When someone knows they've gone off plan, but specifically ask for support without judgement...when it's pretty clear that what they're looking for is just empathy....should they be inundated with fear mongering and reasons they'll fail?

Edited January 9, 2018 by Creekimp13

[jess9395 5,450]

"Speaking as someone more than four years out and maintaining a 135 pound loss at goal (size 4)...."
Jess...would it surprise you to know that you impress me as someone who is in danger of swapping out one eating disorder for another? I'm not saying that's true, or your reality...but it's a road I'd rather not take, and sometimes you say things that seem a bit obsessive and extreme for my taste. I worry about trading one extreme for another because I know it's dangerous, and I know it happens.
I've never mentioned this before because every time I consider telling someone I'm worried about them online....I think to myself...will that person find it useful if I do? Will they take it to heart, or will they hear it as criticism? Usually, I err on the side of shutting up and treating people with kindness when I know they don't want to hear what I have to say.
.

I appreciate your concern, but it's unwarranted. Like I said some foods I can eat in moderation.... I had fudge and Cookies at Christmas, I drink wine and the occasional cocktail.... but some I just can't open the door to like cheese-it's!

So if I sound obsessive it's more the brevity of my posts and the fact that they may be incomplete in the details. If you look at my history you can see much more.

And I am very aware of transfer addictions/dysfunctions. If I'm in danger of that it's the exercise and when I'm training for a marathon I run a LOT which is why I seek balance and am not always training. I do yoga. I have weeks where I run only 6-10 miles and others where I run 50.

I've spent a lot of time in therapy over the years and seek "touch ups" during stressful times (my mom died this year and I put my dad in a rest home).

So if it's me personally you're worried about, I appreciate it but its unwarranted. If it's people LIKE me, well I'm a big believer in getting your head on straight and recognizing your own vulnerabilities, I think we all have them. Some people find their "balance" in everything in moderation and some moderate by choosing categories/foods to eliminate. I don't think either is the only path. But I do think that different people need different paths. One person's path won't necessary work for another. And this board has all types so all the paths need to be explored and discussed. No one type/path owns any discussion on thread. It's the internet!

[jess9395 5,450]

I'm not sure I agree. Jess's point, if I follow, is that the surgery has helped her with her cravings for refined sugary food and so she is better able to avoid them. That sounds like a great benefit to me and something I hope to adopt. Maybe I'm missing something but that doesn't sound like any type of eating disorder to me.

Thanks, you get me!

[jess9395 5,450]

I don't think listing your pants size substantiates your authority on a particular topic. To do so seems weird and obsessive (to me). Personally, I would rather be my current size...than a size 4 at 5' 7".....that's grossly underweight for my tastes. That's what I was referring to...hence the quote. Not the part about cravings. But again....my concern is not useful. It's not something she will agree with or want to hear, so it's best to keep it to myself. Which I do, for the most part. I'm bringing it up only to illustrate that sometimes knowing something won't be received well....should prompt us to rethink how useful it is, or finesse our point.

I only listed my size because the original poster likes to slam people who started more overweight than she ever was.

My weight is smack dab in the middle of the normal range.

[Seahawks Fan 771]

I was told this surgery is permanent & it can’t be undone & it will yield results unless it’s sabotaged by the people who have it if they don’t fully commit to the lifestyle change.

[mamamc32 132]

OP - I am 3.5 months post-op, and I have had a few rough days. Today, in fact, I ate a bagel. I felt like crap afterwards, and it reminded me why I don't eat Bagels now. I'm still doing really well - down over 80 lbs from my HW and 52 lbs from my SW.

I never expected this to be easy, and I never expected myself to be perfect. I wanted to improve my eating habits, have more Portion Control, and reach a healthy weight. I'm a work in progress, but I have definitely made progress. I agree with trying to find more non-food rewards to treat yourself - I need to work on that, too. I don't think you should worry that an occasional treat is going to derail all your progress, though!!

Good luck!!

[YummyMummy303 123]

I feel like this whole debate got off topic. Am I missing something? To me the critical issue isn't whether or not you're pure or hedonistic or even just a human who has food issues and occasionally messes up. I think the early posters were wiggin' out because of the highlighted area...that the OP was only 1 month out from surgery, and that it was the second occurrence of her eating beyond her surgeon's advice.
I don't think most of us are saying...if you don't stay on the absolute straight and narrow you're not going to succeed? I think it was absolute fear for her that her tummy would explode.

In other words: we got off topic guys - let’s go back to abusing the OP when I haven’t listened to a word she or anyone else had said. GTFO


Sleeved: 2/12/2017

SW: 209lbs/95kgs

[YummyMummy303 123]

OP - I am 3.5 months post-op, and I have had a few rough days. Today, in fact, I ate a bagel. I felt like crap afterwards, and it reminded me why I don't eat Bagels now. [emoji4] I'm still doing really well - down over 80 lbs from my HW and 52 lbs from my SW.
I never expected this to be easy, and I never expected myself to be perfect. I wanted to improve my eating habits, have more Portion Control, and reach a healthy weight. I'm a work in progress, but I have definitely made progress. I agree with trying to find more non-food rewards to treat yourself - I need to work on that, too. I don't think you should worry that an occasional treat is going to derail all your progress, though!!
Good luck!!

Thanks Mama - that’s what I was looking for to know I’m not alone with bad days. My portion has improved a lot and 20lbs down at 5 weeks post-op, but I think it’s important to be honest that it hasn’t always been easy, and I have slipped up because not everyone on here is as perfect as some like to claim they are.

Let’s stay on track, the holidays are a really hard time for many people, so thank you for being honest about your journey! Xx


Sleeved: 2/12/2017

SW: 209lbs/95kgs

[FluffyChix 17,418]

2 minutes ago, YummyMummy303 said:

In other words: we got off topic guys - let’s go back to abusing the OP when I haven’t listened to a word she or anyone else had said. GTFO


Sleeved: 2/12/2017

SW: 209lbs/95kgs

Why is it impossible for you to believe everything I've written to you is said with sincere empathy/sympathy and not judgement? I've never been rude to you, nor judgemental. I am NOT putting you down. I am (as you so kindly reminded everyone) the last person to throw stones at anyone. I only wish you the best results and a painless victorious journey. So now as you invited me, I will GTFO.

[YummyMummy303 123]

I only listed my size because the original poster likes to slam people who started more overweight than she ever was.

My weight is smack dab in the middle of the normal range.

Sorry if you didn’t understand my post - but I wasn’t asking for your pant size - I’m not sure if you want an award. This was about people that have slipped up at times, how they dealt with it and kept going - which you have done also, but I guess it’s ok when you do it, just not anyone else. I was 4 weeks and nothing I ate was not allowed for safety reasons, it just wasn’t as healthy as I should be eating. Everyone has weak moments, there are hundreds of posts just like it, only as soon as I post anything it draws all of the vets to come on and start scolding me. Don’t bother if it’s not going to be constructive. There are plenty of people that came on, understood the post and offered constructive responses, but again I have to close this thread because of the few that take it as an opportunity to come on and act as though they are perfect and everyone else should be - which is completely unhelpful!


Sleeved: 2/12/2017

SW: 209lbs/95kgs

[_Kate_ 2,224]

9 minutes ago, YummyMummy303 said:

Sorry if you didn’t understand my post - but I wasn’t asking for your pant size - I’m not sure if you want an award. This was about people that have slipped up at times, how they dealt with it and kept going - which you have done also, but I guess it’s ok when you do it, just not anyone else. I was 4 weeks and nothing I ate was not allowed for safety reasons, it just wasn’t as healthy as I should be eating. Everyone has weak moments, there are hundreds of posts just like it, only as soon as I post anything it draws all of the vets to come on and start scolding me. Don’t bother if it’s not going to be constructive. There are plenty of people that came on, understood the post and offered constructive responses, but again I have to close this thread because of the few that take it as an opportunity to come on and act as though they are perfect and everyone else should be - which is completely unhelpful!


Sleeved: 2/12/2017

SW: 209lbs/95kgs

You can close the thread ?

[_Kate_ 2,224]

6 hours ago, jess9395 said:

I only listed my size because the original poster likes to slam people who started more overweight than she ever was.

My weight is smack dab in the middle of the normal range.

I would give up Jess. Let’s leave it to those a few weeks out who seem to know everything.

If it wasn’t so sad it would be laughable.

[YummyMummy303 123]

I would give up Jess. Let’s leave it to those a few weeks out who seem to know everything.
If it wasn’t so sad it would be laughable.

Kate - thanks for yet another smart ass vet response.

We are not the ones that are know-it-alls, we are at the start of the journey and looking for others experiencing similar challenges and blocks. Perhaps some of you have forgotten what it’s like at this stage, or you’re hungry for more awards on here, whatever it is: coming on and shaming people doesn’t help anyone. I am clearly not the only person on here that has had bad days and going through it, but you’ve singled me out. What’s the point?

Congratulations to all the vets, you should be proud of your weight loss, but if you want to come on here and act like it was always easy, and you’re so much better than anyone else, than maybe you’re looking for something on this forum that we can’t give you. We clearly need support more than any of you do at our stages, and it’s not what many of you give on here, so why bother just to make us feel bad about posting?


Sleeved: 2/12/2017

SW: 209lbs/95kgs

[_Kate_ 2,224]

34 minutes ago, YummyMummy303 said:

Kate - thanks for yet another smart ass vet response.

We are not the ones that are know-it-alls, we are at the start of the journey and looking for others experiencing similar challenges and blocks. Perhaps some of you have forgotten what it’s like at this stage, or you’re hungry for more awards on here, whatever it is: coming on and shaming people doesn’t help anyone. I am clearly not the only person on here that has had bad days and going through it, but you’ve singled me out. What’s the point?

Congratulations to all the vets, you should be proud of your weight loss, but if you want to come on here and act like it was always easy, and you’re so much better than anyone else, than maybe you’re looking for something on this forum that we can’t give you. We clearly need support more than any of you do at our stages, and it’s not what many of you give on here, so why bother just to make us feel bad about posting?


Sleeved: 2/12/2017

SW: 209lbs/95kgs

It’s never been easy for me ....I paid twenty four thousand dollars to have this gift... no insurance... no easy days. I have worked hard. Very hard. Then had plastics. It’s been 31 months of hard work so when I hear of someone eating pizza at two weeks I feel sorry for them. I pity them. I’m not angry or pissed off with them. I just feel sorry for the medics who might have to patch them up. Is that wrong, Or should we just validate their choices.

People can stuff themselves with food at week 1,2,3... ohhhhh I made a mistake. Now all say you did too and we can be part of a gang.

The reality is... if you’re not going to listen to your surgeon then so be it.

But I won’t be someone saying awwwwww when you are ill.

Now making a mistake months out. That's different. We have all made mistakes. I know I have. But 2-4 weeks out? After surgery. Not listening to their surgeon?

Fill your boots.

The reality is that people make choices. Don’t whine about it...

[YummyMummy303 123]

It’s never been easy for me ....I paid twenty four thousand dollars to have this gift... no insurance... no easy days. I have worked hard. Very hard. Then had plastics. It’s been 31 months of hard work so when I hear of someone eating pizza at two weeks I feel sorry for them. I pity them. I’m not angry or pissed off with them. I just feel sorry for the medics who might have to patch them up. Is that’s wrong, Or should we just validate their choices.
People can stuff themselves with food at week 1,2,3... ohhhhh I made a mistake. Now all say you did too and we can be part of a gang.
The reality is... if you’re not going to listen to your surgeon then so be it.
But I won’t be someone saying awwwwww when you are ill.
Now making a mistake months out. That's different. We have all made mistakes. I know I have. But 2-4 weeks out? After surgery. Not listening to their surgeon?
Fill your boots.

Guess what Kate? You’ve just proved my point!

1) it was a bite
2) this post wasn’t about that
3) it did not cause damage


You and others on here are bullying people for being honest. I am 5 weeks post op now, and I am disgusted at the way some of you behave. If anything could have done damage to me it was the way you all treated me when I created that post at 2 weeks.

Why are you posting on my thread besides wanting to argue and be rude? Did you go through everything you did just so you could come on here and slam people early in their own journey or did you do it for you? What do you want?

Do you want me to say how amazing you are, that you’re so much better than everyone else on here? You’re not, and we will reach our goals too despite people like you trying to drag us when we slip up.

For God sake, do you have a life out of here? I’m proud of losing 20lbs in a month, considering I only have another 40lbs to get to my goal - so keep your negative judgment to yourself.

You have clearly come on here to keep criticising me about admitting I ate a bite of my kids pizza at 2 weeks, which is now 3 weeks ago and nothing to do with this post - so don’t you DARE come on here acting like anything you are posting is anything but a bullying attempt! All of the vets like you should just leave people alone - you are NOT surgeons, you are NOT nutritionists, and you are NOT better than anyone else! We all have our own journeys! We all got here our own ways. I put on weight during my second baby, other people it was a lifelong battle - but one thing is for sure - we don’t need being scolded by know-it-all vets so early in this life changing surgery!


Sleeved: 2/12/2017

SW: 209lbs/95kgs