Can’t stop crying

[njgal 535]

He didn't go through the surgery and has no idea what you need. Don't make any rash judgements/changes right now, as you are recovering and not thinking clearly. Feelings are magnified while we are in pain and mentally/physically taxed.
My husband is very caring but quite the lump on how to help!!! He just doesn't get it sometimes, it is his brain wiring and not how he feels about me. Take deep breath and just say out loud that you are frustrated and need a - hug, walking pal, cup of tea, or what you need and you will not be a blubbering baby for long.
Good luck.

I concur. Speak up and remember; chin up!!

[Kmarie143 3]

Hello I don't know your background know your situation and I'm actually new to this app I just want you to know that you're beautiful never let anyone steal your joy remember you did this for a reason one to make your life better to be healthy and to make a change today is just one day but as the days progress you'll feel better and remember this is only temporary yes it's sad that you have no support system at this time but instead of that being your downfall let it be your motivation because when it's all said and done remember he's just your boyfriend he's not your husband and I say this because when you look fantabulous he's going to be looking back groveling for you to take him back you are your keeper and remember put God first and just pray about it he will see you through it I went through the same thing with my boyfriend and I let him know how I felt and he changed maybe you should discuss how you feel with your boyfriend so to see if he can be more empathetic towards your pain and your feelings have a great day and I'm always here if you need me just to vent from 1 sleever to the next may God continue to bless you on your journey

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G935A using BariatricPal mobile app

[Kmarie143 3]

This is my third day post op and I’m so depressed. My boyfriend is here walking around like I don’t exist. I’m crying from physical and mental pain. You would think after seeing me lying here he would ask how I’m doing or if I need anything. Not him..I just don’t know what to do at this point....just needed to vent since he’s not talking to me..

Hello I don't know your background know your situation and I'm actually new to this app I just want you to know that you're beautiful never let anyone steal your joy remember you did this for a reason one to make your life better to be healthy and to make a change today is just one day but as the days progress you'll feel better and remember this is only temporary yes it's sad that you have no support system at this time but instead of that being your downfall let it be your motivation because when it's all said and done remember he's just your boyfriend he's not your husband and I say this because when you look fantabulous he's going to be looking back groveling for you to take him back you are your keeper and remember put God first and just pray about it he will see you through it I went through the same thing with my boyfriend and I let him know how I felt and he changed maybe you should discuss how you feel with your boyfriend so to see if he can be more empathetic towards your pain and your feelings have a great day and I'm always here if you need me just to vent from 1 sleever to the next may God continue to bless you on your journey

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G935A using BariatricPal mobile app

[Yolanda Smith 8]

I totally agree on the statement that Buffalo Bill has made you know it can be a mental situation for friends and family members too so you just can't lye there and not say what's needed or what's bothering you. Even though you decided to make the change for the better they're still grasping on the fact well why she have to do it this way and put herself in so much pain I thought she was ok the way she was and now she's helpless.....so yes talk to him about it explains again the longer life expectancy of why you're going through with this and how you need now so much encouragement and support through the process....you may want to ask how do he feel about the whole situation just to get some clearance on what Is it he's really feeling because you have all the answers to his feelings and insecuritie but you need to talk it out. If he comes up with you shouldn't have done the surgery you say well its already done so can I please have your support and from there you should know if you need to move on and do this alone........ain't no need to have someone there just looking at you go through with this.........ask someone on this support online group if someone is nearby you who will become a post bariatric pal with you share address share numbers its the best thing because you'll have the same experience. My husband didn't want me to have the surgery after explaining the better long life expectancy he agree but still was a very slow supporter in the beginning but he's on board now praying and supporting me as much as possible we are now taking walks together but when he wasn't fully there I'm glad I met an older lady at one of the Bariatric groups she had her surgery before mine and I asked her if I could call her to see how she makes out after her surgery she has a son but I felt like she needed more support so we switch number and I kept in touch and she kept in touch after my surgery.....I'm glad I did because it filled in the gap of my not so sure husband at the time who was stuck a little bit......... but talk it out with your boyfriend and find someone else who experienced the surgery as well ........ you'll be just fine may God bring you enlightenment in this journey good luck God Bless xoxo

[Finnix 104]

Sweetie, this is totally normal. Your body has been through an incredible amount of trauma. Your hormones are raging. This happens to many people post surgery. It happened to me. I was either crying hysterically, seething angry or laughing like crazy. It changed constantly and for no reason. I really thought something was wrong with me but I found out that after WLS these hormonal feelings are super common. Unfortunately, this is something many surgeons never warn us about so it hits us so hard. For me, the emotional issues post surgery was probably the worst part. I was such a mess. It lasted for a couple of weeks.

You’re going to be okay. This is going to pass. I promise. It’s one day at a time. Sometimes it’s just one minute at a time. You focus on getting through the next minute. That’s all you have to worry about right now. One minute at a time.

I know you’re upset and in pain but try to get some rest. Sip liquids as much as you can when you’re awake and try to sleep whenever possible. You’ve been through a lot. Give yourself a break. This is going to get better, I PROMISE you.


As of October 12, 2017, I am 4 months post op and have lost 100 pounds. I have reached my goal weight and could not be more ecstatic!

[Finnix 104]

Thanks for the advice. He didn’t even come to the hospital

Oh honey... no... no, no, no. Unless he has one hell of s seriously good reason for not coming to the hospital (and I really can’t think of any), then this man is not the man for you. This journey is difficult. It’s so so much more difficult than I ever dreamed it could possibly be. You’re going to need to surround yourself with positive people who are there to support you and cheer you on. Someone who didn’t even bother to come to the hospital? No. No way. I hope this doesn’t offend you, but this sounds like the kind of guy who will be bringing cheeseburgers and pizza home to eat in front of you when he knows you’re trying to change your life. This is not okay. I’m so sorry he isn’t supporting you the way you deserve. I’m so angry for you.


As of October 12, 2017, I am 4 months post op and have lost 100 pounds. I have reached my goal weight and could not be more ecstatic!

[Finnix 104]

Im sorry ur having these issues, are u up walking every hour to ease the pain ?? , i live alone my boyfriend has his one place so i didnt have anyone here to help me as he had to work, im the firm believer i can do this on my iwn i dont need his help therefore i get up and do what i need to do for me to be a better me, some people dont know how to act or feel about changes we are making they get insecure

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Isn’t the divorce rate post WLS like 80%? I know it’s super high. I’m pretty sure I read that it’s 80%. This is why. People can’t handle the changes.


As of October 12, 2017, I am 4 months post op and have lost 100 pounds. I have reached my goal weight and could not be more ecstatic!

[Nancy MBGC 90]

Men dont think like us girly. I'm not making no excuse you'll be just fine. Express how you feel dont wait for him you go to him with your issue on how your feeling today. If he truly cares he'll listen you might even get an apology. I just know men tend to process things differently we're more emotional when men aren't. (We'll majority of men shall I say).. Hope your day gets better :-)

Sent from my LGMS210 using BariatricPal mobile app
Totally disagree. Men I know are much more considerate. This guy is a schmuck.

[BuffaloBill 168]

Isn’t the divorce rate post WLS like 80%? I know it’s super high. I’m pretty sure I read that it’s 80%. This is why. People can’t handle the changes.


As of October 12, 2017, I am 4 months post op and have lost 100 pounds. I have reached my goal weight and could not be more ecstatic!

Damn u reached your goal in 4 mos. My goal weight is 55lbs away and I'm 10 days post op. I know things are different for guys but this makes things sound realistic. Congratulations

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[amb052492 84]

If it makes you feel better, my boyfriend asked me the morning of surgery if he should skip the gym after work to come see me in the hospital lol. I was so angry at the time. He even forgot my hospital bag at home. I really don't think he understood how major this surgery is. I think men process things on a mental basis and us women are controlled by our emotions. When we finally got home, my mom came and helped me during the days. I had to sit my boyfriend down and explain to him what I needed and what I could or couldn't have. He really didn't understand the emotional toll that this surgery has had on me. It's been a tough journey. After having that talk, he has been pretty helpful. Sometimes it takes you telling them a few times for them to understand how you feel. It doesn't make it any better when you are crying in pain. Hang in there and just express clearly what you need. I hope it gets better for you!


Sleeved 10/10/17 • HW 280 (3/1/17) • SW 259 (10/10) • GW 180 (TBD)

[Doreen0716 105]

How did u loose so fast 100#'s

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[Monkeyfulbrighter 73]

I'm almost 4 months, 60 pounds down, 25 to goal weight but honestly.... i am still an emotional rollarcoaster. I feel for toy sweetie. I am laying here feeling regret over a relationship that ended 3 years ago and one currently ending. I've been going between some of the most well-adjusted spans to out of my mind since just before surgery. I don't think I'm the norm so please don't get discouraged but i came to the site tonight myself because I need some emotional support. It is ready really tough, especially the first 3 weeks before you can really drink well.

[Missytee 138]

Men dont think like us girly. I'm not making no excuse you'll be just fine. Express how you feel dont wait for him you go to him with your issue on how your feeling today. If he truly cares he'll listen you might even get an apology. I just know men tend to process things differently we're more emotional when men aren't. (We'll majority of men shall I say).. Hope your day gets better :-)

Sent from my LGMS210 using BariatricPal mobile app

I wish I could talk to him and tell him how I feel, but I can’t. I tried earlier and he left the house.....smh

[Monkeyfulbrighter 73]

6 minutes ago, Missytee said:

I wish I could talk to him and tell him how I feel, but I can’t. I tried earlier and he left the house.....smh

He left the house?? It is starting to sound like not just hormones but him being unsupportive uncaring jerk, to excuse my frankness. First nail is not coming to hospital, then walking out when trying to give your struggles, right after you have major surgery?? Most people don't understand how major it is but that is supposed to be your partner and pillar of support regardless if he agreed with the decision or not. 😤😡

[Finnix 104]

Damn u reached your goal in 4 mos. My goal weight is 55lbs away and I'm 10 days post op. I know things are different for guys but this makes things sound realistic. Congratulations

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Actually, men typically lose much faster than women. You are only 55 lbs away, you got this!


As of October 12, 2017, I am 4 months post op and have lost 100 pounds. I have reached my goal weight and could not be more ecstatic!