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Do people actually date anymore?



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I don't know about the rest of you but we live in a world where finding love means swiping right and hoping for the best.

Hello I'm Stephanie, I'm 26 years old. I'm new to the site and would love to make some friends, text buddies, or pen pals.

So I'm what you would call Terminally Single, been that way for about 7 years now and I'm not sure it's ever going to change. It feels like the guys I'm into either A. don't want to be with a fat girl. B. are emotionally stunted, C. into weird fetishes (foodie/feeder I know I'm fat but that doesn't get my jollys off.) or D. Crazy, bat **** crazy.

Maybe I'm too picky, maybe I'm the crazy one, but I found it interesting to find this type of forum on this site. Color me intrigued!

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I am sure dating has changed. I am 38 and met my wife seven years ago on Match.com
I don't know anything about these dating apps.
Just focus on yourself right now.
These next few months are going to be hard while preparing for surgery.

Sent from my SM-G900V using BariatricPal mobile app

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Lol Walter! I'm definitely focusing on myself! Terminally Single! :P

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From what I've seen, the guys that like big women, like big women. And vice versa. Since you are a larger woman that is looking to become a smaller woman, anyone you are likely to attract right now isn't going to be as interested later. Unless, of course, someone out there is on the same journey as you are (and for that, you did come to the right spot!).

So, Walter has a point, in general, don't worry about dating too much right now, unless you aren't really looking for anything too serious. Shoot, well-established relationships frequently can't survive the upheaval that wls causes!

Congrats on beginning your journey, good luck!

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15 hours ago, StephersSweet said:

I don't know about the rest of you but we live in a world where finding love means swiping right and hoping for the best.

Hello I'm Stephanie, I'm 26 years old. I'm new to the site and would love to make some friends, text buddies, or pen pals.

So I'm what you would call Terminally Single, been that way for about 7 years now and I'm not sure it's ever going to change. It feels like the guys I'm into either A. don't want to be with a fat girl. B. are emotionally stunted, C. into weird fetishes (foodie/feeder I know I'm fat but that doesn't get my jollys off.) or D. Crazy, bat **** crazy.

Maybe I'm too picky, maybe I'm the crazy one, but I found it interesting to find this type of forum on this site. Color me intrigued!

Omg I hear you girl. I'm 44 and terminally single as well. You're young, you have plenty of time to worry about dating later. I'm 3 weeks post op RNY, starting weight 335 to 257 (lost a lot pre op) and it's just too hard to explain to new people why you can't go out to eat, then you got a lot that are judgemental about the surgery. The ones who like the big girls, can't possibly understand why u would go thru this. Lol. The dating sites are brutal anyway with out all this too.

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1 hour ago, christysworld said:

Omg I hear you girl. I'm 44 and terminally single as well. You're young, you have plenty of time to worry about dating later. I'm 3 weeks post op RNY, starting weight 335 to 257 (lost a lot pre op) and it's just too hard to explain to new people why you can't go out to eat, then you got a lot that are judgemental about the surgery. The ones who like the big girls, can't possibly understand why u would go thru this. Lol. The dating sites are brutal anyway with out all this too.

Haha aint that the truth, I am talking to one guy who seems very interested in talking about my surgery as if he's writing a paper on the subject matter or something, it was super embarrassing because we went out for our first date and he starts asking me about the surgery and what happens if I end up with lose skin. I wasn't used to someone asking so many questions about it beyond the dreaded "why would you do something so drastic when all you need to do is go to the gym" because clearly WLS is the "easy" way out. -_- I'm not worried about finding anything yet, right now I am 100% focused on me.

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Quote

-_- I'm not worried about finding anything yet, right now I am 100% focused on me.

That is your first step, grasshopper.

Get your house in order. Love yourself. Do what's best for you. Make YOURSELF contented beyond your wildest dreams FIRST.

All of these things produce a light inside you that shines brighter as you progress and it attracts light as well.

You will have your pick AFTER that...you can get what you want, not just something to hold on to.

And that's the straight up truth.

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2 hours ago, christysworld said:

Omg I hear you girl. I'm 44 and terminally single as well.

THAT is a god damned shame.

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10 minutes ago, Half-Tum said:


Love yourself. Do what's best for you. Make YOURSELF contented beyond your wildest dreams FIRST.

That's been one of the many reasons why I'm still single, I will not settle for anyone who doesn't love me the way I love me. lol Somedays I still struggle with that but it gets easier every day. Thank you for your words! <3

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I dabbled in dating but ended up with a cat named James who only seems to show himself when he hears food. I have finally bottomed out on my weight loss and had some skin removal surgery so I will give it one more go. I feel it's best to wait until you are finished product. I'm not even going to tell women I had surgery or was even overweight.

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2 hours ago, StephersSweet said:

Haha aint that the truth, I am talking to one guy who seems very interested in talking about my surgery as if he's writing a paper on the subject matter or something, it was super embarrassing because we went out for our first date and he starts asking me about the surgery and what happens if I end up with lose skin. I wasn't used to someone asking so many questions about it beyond the dreaded "why would you do something so drastic when all you need to do is go to the gym" because clearly WLS is the "easy" way out. -_- I'm not worried about finding anything yet, right now I am 100% focused on me.

Yup sounds about Right. My worst encounter was a guy I know that stocks the coke at the grocery store. He was always kinda friendly and flirty starts yelling at me telling me his sister died from the surgery and walked off in a huff. Yup this is the time to focus on ourselves. :-) Good luck

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2 minutes ago, sgc said:

I dabbled in dating but ended up with a cat named James who only seems to show himself when he hears food.

I have 2 cats and 2 dogs... the cats are the same way could care less about my existence, the dogs however love me unconditionally and don't judge me at all lol

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2 hours ago, sgc said:

but ended up with a cat named James who only seems to show himself when he hears food

I totally thought "James" was a person, the lazy S.O.B!!!

Was gonna say James sounds just like my hubby!!!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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