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First in law side of the family gathering today. My mother in law begins with talking about how pretty soon I'll save goodbye and arms will keep waving for another 10 mins. Then when I got my plate of food, which I'd say had a decent amount on it. A hot dog, some fruit and a scoop of potato salad (which I didn't eat). She says oh you must be a closet eater, you'll wait until everyone else is done eating then go clean off all of their plates. I looked up and said are you talking to me. She was like yeah. I felt so offended. I said no, I just can't eat as much after my surgery. Her husband had RNY so she knows. Then later she made another comment about, "I bet you do a lot of sneaking and stuffing your face now, huh." WTF. First of all really? If I wanted to stuff my face I wouldn't hide. What a total b***h. Like I said father in law had RNY 7 years ago so its not like she's naive to this subject. I wanted to say after 17 years of marriage you guys can't think of anything else to talk about but this. Uggggh.

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1 hour ago, hmills653 said:

I felt so offended.

Oh man, someone wants a beat down! Where does she live?

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First in law side of the family gathering today. My mother in law begins with talking about how pretty soon I'll save goodbye and arms will keep waving for another 10 mins. Then when I got my plate of food, which I'd say had a decent amount on it. A hot dog, some fruit and a scoop of potato salad (which I didn't eat). She says oh you must be a closet eater, you'll wait until everyone else is done eating then go clean off all of their plates. I looked up and said are you talking to me. She was like yeah. I felt so offended. I said no, I just can't eat as much after my surgery. Her husband had RNY so she knows. Then later she made another comment about, "I bet you do a lot of sneaking and stuffing your face now, huh." WTF. First of all really? If I wanted to stuff my face I wouldn't hide. What a total b***h. Like I said father in law had RNY 7 years ago so its not like she's naive to this subject. I wanted to say after 17 years of marriage you guys can't think of anything else to talk about but this. Uggggh.


OMG!!! What a *****! I would have told her where to go and how to get there!


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4 hours ago, Diana_in_Philly said:

What I say:

I'm working with a medical team. I log every bite I eat in My Fitness Pal and weigh and measure everything I eat. I eat anywhere from 70-100 grams of Protein a day and drink at least 64 ounces of Water. I do not eat bread, Pasta, rice or sugar.

I exercise at least 5 days a week for at least an hour a day. I'm working with a personal trainer. I do classes, lift weights and other things.

It's very hard work.

None of that is untrue. It is a sin of omission, as Sister Mary Patrick would have said, because I am not telling the whole truth, but I have no obligation to tell the inquirer anything at all. By the time I get to - I don't eat bread, Pasta, rice or sugar - their faces have fallen and the first reaction is - "I could never do that". Well, you asked how I'm doing it and this is how.

Good ol' Sister Mary Pat! *snick--hahahahaha*! Those sins of omission are a real b*tch aren't they? :460_circus_tent:

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First in law side of the family gathering today. My mother in law begins with talking about how pretty soon I'll save goodbye and arms will keep waving for another 10 mins. Then when I got my plate of food, which I'd say had a decent amount on it. A hot dog, some fruit and a scoop of potato salad (which I didn't eat). She says oh you must be a closet eater, you'll wait until everyone else is done eating then go clean off all of their plates. I looked up and said are you talking to me. She was like yeah. I felt so offended. I said no, I just can't eat as much after my surgery. Her husband had RNY so she knows. Then later she made another comment about, "I bet you do a lot of sneaking and stuffing your face now, huh." WTF. First of all really? If I wanted to stuff my face I wouldn't hide. What a total b***h. Like I said father in law had RNY 7 years ago so its not like she's naive to this subject. I wanted to say after 17 years of marriage you guys can't think of anything else to talk about but this. Uggggh.

Omg i think we share a mother in law! I made my husband swear up and down, in front of our therapist, that he would NOT tell his mother about my surgery. I am so sorry you had to deal with that. I've been there in a similar way. It's like they play on what we are most self conscious about which is really crappy and a sign of major inner pain of their own. Still, no excuse to say horrible things like that! Next time, don't go!!!!


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What the heck is it with in laws? I wrote the original post with my MIL in mind. At my heaviest, she told me I looked "normal" from the waist down but was heavy on top. I told her I knew exactly what I was. My husband was stunned and later beat himself up for not coming to my defense. Now, after my weight loss, she's the one that asked me what size I wore. A vendor at work asked me how much I weigh. My MIL informed me I should not lose any more weight. Aside from family and a few friends, I told no one about surgery.


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I live with my MIL, who is heavy. She bounces between being jealous (sticks her tongue out at me when I mention losing a pound) to celebrating ("I can see your cheekbones!")

The first thing she said 8 weeks out was.."I thought you'd be at goal by now!"

MIL's are psycho!

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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