Don't get me wrong, I'm very proud of myself for having the guts to be sleeved, but I always hated any kind of comments about anyone's weight. I'm at goal. And after a long summer contracting Lyme, I'm actually in a position where I need to gain a few pounds (don't recommend this as a weight loss tool;) but have found that comments about my weight or anyone else's weight still makes me incredibly uncomfortable. Why would anyone think it's okay to ask what size I am, or how much I weigh? Just feels incredibly inappropriate and a total invasion of privacy.

Don't get me wrong, I'm very proud of myself for having the guts to be sleeved, but I always hated any kind of comments about anyone's weight. I'm at goal. And after a long summer contracting Lyme, I'm actually in a position where I need to gain a few pounds (don't recommend this as a weight loss tool;) but have found that comments about my weight or anyone else's weight still makes me incredibly uncomfortable. Why would anyone think it's okay to ask what size I am, or how much I weigh? Just feels incredibly inappropriate and a total invasion of privacy.

Stats:
High weight: 270
Surgery date: 12/16/15
Current weight: 120

I am SOOOOO with you there! I can't stand when people feel the need to constantly comment on how I look. Before I was sleeved and would only fluctuate 5-10lbs, people would say, "are you losing weight?!" It just felt like they were just acknowledging I was fat and looking slightly better. What if I said to the same woman, "hey, your eye wrinkles don't look as deep, good for you!" Why is it ok to comment on weight but if I would've said that, it would be super rude??! Ugh! I'm so sick of my weight being such an issue that everyone feels they can comment. I was just sleeved last week so I know as I lose the weight there will be comments, and I am going to have to have to figure out a way to deal with the comments. I absolutely agree that it is incredibly inappropriate and an absolute invasion of privacy! I'm there with you!

I've lost 75 pounds and I can count the number of people (outside my household) that have noticed... on. one. finger.

No fireworks either. Just a, "Have you lost weight? Lookin' good." Wonder what she would have said if I said "no". Lol!

Ah well, maybe when I get to onederland...

Allie589, I almost peed on myself laughing at your comment about wrinkles not being so deep. That is just waaaaaay too funny[emoji23]!!!

I agree it is rude when said in a unkind way. I think it is fine for someone to say you are looking great good for you, if it is genuinely said. I have had people comment on my weight loss, but all of the comments have been very positive and no one has asked my weight or even how much I have lost.

I had always been slim until 2006 when I started gaining weight. I ran into someone in a store that I hadn't seen in a long time and had put on about 50 pounds. They actually said to me wow you have gained weight, what happened? I was speachless. I ended up saying something like yes a little and got away from them as fast as I could. It was so rude and hurtful and I couldn't believe they had said that to me.

1 hour ago, Apple1 said:

They actually said to me wow you have gained weight, what happened?

This kinda happened to me. I visited my Aunts this summer, hadn't seen them for years. Last time I did see them, I weighed 40 pounds more than this time. First thing they said was, "You never change". Which is better than "You gained weight", but was still surprising to me.

It's like.. no.. since last time I saw you, I gained 15 more pounds, then cut out 75% of my stomach and have lost 55 pounds. Thanks!

Of course both of THEM never change. (I'm the only fat one in the family).

30 minutes ago, Berry78 said:

Of course both of THEM never change. (I'm the only fat one in the family).

The funny thing is the person who said this to me was obese! Some people just have no filter. I ignore these type of people now.

Sorry you have to deal with this from a family member.

I think she was projecting her own insecurities onto you.. she was embarrassed she had gained, so let's make you uncomfortable! Sheesh! Hate people like that..

I am also dreading comments. I am trying to think of what to tell people when they ask what I'm doing. I don't want to feel like a fraud.

1 minute ago, Arielle said:

I am also dreading comments. I am trying to think of what to tell people when they ask what I'm doing. I don't want to feel like a fraud.

What I say:

I'm working with a medical team. I log every bite I eat in My Fitness Pal and weigh and measure everything I eat. I eat anywhere from 70-100 grams of protein a day and drink at least 64 ounces of water. I do not eat bread, pasta, rice or sugar.

I exercise at least 5 days a week for at least an hour a day. I'm working with a personal trainer. I do classes, lift weights and other things.

It's very hard work.

None of that is untrue. It is a sin of omission, as Sister Mary Patrick would have said, because I am not telling the whole truth, but I have no obligation to tell the inquirer anything at all. By the time I get to - I don't eat bread, pasta, rice or sugar - their faces have fallen and the first reaction is - "I could never do that". Well, you asked how I'm doing it and this is how.

Great response!

18 hours ago, Berry78 said:

I've lost 75 pounds and I can count the number of people (outside my household) that have noticed... on. one. finger.

No fireworks either. Just a, "Have you lost weight? Lookin' good." Wonder what she would have said if I said "no". Lol!

Ah well, maybe when I get to onederland...

I carried my weight well and pretty evenly distributed. It took around 70 pounds before people started noticing (or at least saying anything about) my weight loss. I also think they were so used to seeing me in various states of gain and loss through out my life, they were just used to it. But it did frustrate me sometimes! But maybe that's your case, also?

It's probably because I don't work, and have no friends, so rarely come into contact with people. But, at least it keeps me from getting "Did you gain weight?"-ed!

I am also dreading comments. I am trying to think of what to tell people when they ask what I'm doing. I don't want to feel like a fraud.

I've been thinking of what to say as well. I'm thinking, "lots and lots of hard work!" And then change the subject.

First in law side of the family gathering today. My mother in law begins with talking about how pretty soon I'll save goodbye and arms will keep waving for another 10 mins. Then when I got my plate of food, which I'd say had a decent amount on it. A hot dog, some fruit and a scoop of potato salad (which I didn't eat). She says oh you must be a closet eater, you'll wait until everyone else is done eating then go clean off all of their plates. I looked up and said are you talking to me. She was like yeah. I felt so offended. I said no, I just can't eat as much after my surgery. Her husband had RNY so she knows. Then later she made another comment about, "I bet you do a lot of sneaking and stuffing your face now, huh." WTF. First of all really? If I wanted to stuff my face I wouldn't hide. What a total b***h. Like I said father in law had RNY 7 years ago so its not like she's naive to this subject. I wanted to say after 17 years of marriage you guys can't think of anything else to talk about but this. Uggggh.