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Ok, so I told my mom that I'm getting WLS, who told my sister. They both decided to come over my house for an "intervention". They told me I'm not even that fat and I can diet and exercise to lose weight. My mom yells at me and tells me I'm taking the easy way out and then my sister says you're just lazy. My mom proceeds to tell me about her friend who had complications and advises me to get my will together for my kids. My sister is sitting there telling my mom she's right and agreeing and encourage everything she said and doing. I'm so hurt right now and just needed to vent.

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PLEASE.....OMG ridiculous. I would suggest to them that it is a "closed topic". Let them know, your sorry you mentioned it. This is your life, your body, your decision, your struggle. This is why I didn't tell anyone.... I still haven't, except for my husband. If it were me, I would tell the, yeah, you thought about it and aren't doing it.

Then go and do it.

I know my mom would have had a hissy fit too. One of my sisters knew, and thought I should not do it, but said it was up to me. My husband knows and thats it.

I would suggest you don't discuss it with your sister or mom anymore. You know where they stand. I hear this happens to a lot of people.

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Hi Sleevebabe, I'm sorry you are going through that, unfortunately there are many closed minded people out there, my father, sister & my boyfriend being a few of them. It is a bit difficult to feel confident and sure about your decisions especially when you want your family to be on board. I originally had my first surgery scheduled for May 23, 2017, but because I felt like I had to please everyone by listening to them also told me that I could do it on my own and not get surgery I backed out. I went another month and a half debating on whether it was the right choice and I eventually decided I needed to do this for myself and no one else. My advice to you is follow your gut choice do not let anyone stand in your way of what you feel is right for you. If you do you'll only be living for other people not for yourself and this decision is based on making your life better not anyone else's. I just got my surgery done on July 18 and I am happy with the decision that I made and your mother and sister will eventually come around. Just don't let them stand in your way of doing what you feel is right for you. At the end of the day family will still be there.

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I'm with larta on this one. Tell them that you've had a change of heart, that they are right. Once they are like, "Oh, well.. OK then! Glad you came to your senses"... then proceed to do what you want to do. At least they'll not continue ragging on you.. which is exactly what is going to happen as it stands.

Sorry you didn't get the support you were after :( {hugs}, you are a strong, independent woman, and you can figure out what is right for you.

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I know how u feel support system here is shakey .its hard but keep on moving forward & no it's not the easy way out to me is a second chance at life.[emoji4]


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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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