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Why do I feel suicidal ?



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I am glad you are getting help.
I suffer from depression myself and have been hospitalized for it.
I actually had to get ECT during one of my hospital stays.
Electro Convulsive Therapy, it is shock therapy used to treat depression.
I have not been sleeved yet, and I am scared as to how I will be mentally after surgery.
Being hospitalized is not fun, but it is the safest place for you right now.

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@Mucheca...please check in when you can.

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I am glad you are getting help.
I suffer from depression myself and have been hospitalized for it.
I actually had to get ECT during one of my hospital stays.
Electro Convulsive Therapy, it is shock therapy used to treat depression.
I have not been sleeved yet, and I am scared as to how I will be mentally after surgery.
Being hospitalized is not fun, but it is the safest place for you right now.

Sent from my SM-G900V using BariatricPal mobile app



Know if you have taken antidepressants and some other mood altering meds most are fat soluble. Meaning once you lose weight the drugs you have taken in the past and are currently on will affect you again in very odd ways. Some behavioral side effects could manifest. I wish I had been warned. That was an awkward 2 weeks or so around ppl.

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6 minutes ago, Walter.Sobchak said:

Thank you for the input.
I am nervous and scared.

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The most important thing is for you to be aware. That way if you start feeling sideways, you'll know what is going on.

Not everyone reacts badly, despite all sorts of mental health histories. I've always been emotionally labile. Surgery actually has calmed things down for me. So there is hope!

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I have battled depression most of my life, I have had a lab-band and now have the by-pass (21 Feb 2017) I prepared myself for the bypass by locking in my head that this is my choice and what I want because it is the best choice for me and the rest of my life. I kept reminding myself of this for months leading up to the surgery. I knew when you go through something so tromatic to your body you will be attacked by serval factors, the first being normal life, who as a calm stress free life anyway, the second your body trying to physically recover with a server lack of calories and nutrients and the chemical attack your body relieses to tell you to go get my calories and nutrition as well as the chemicals being relieses that where previously stored in your fat and on top of all of this you have the psychological attack you depression can inflict on you. And all without your usual crutch of food, because that is gone now and just the lose of that can make a person so depressed it is like losing your best friend the grief you can feel when you can no longer turn to the one ally that has been there for you all your life. This is where you have to remember the choice you made. Yes you have been able to rely on food but it has got so bad now it damages the things you hold important in your life so now it is time to leave food, not forever just for a little while so you can sort out more important things in your life and get a healthier relationship with food. As bad as things are now they are not going to stay like this they will get better, your entire life is about to change for the best but change hurts until you get through it a learn how to handle it. Look back at the events in your life that gave you the greatest gifts of your life chances are they where hard lesions and painful but you got through them and grew and that is what is happening now and once again you will get through it and grow your life is always going to be better because you decided to make it better! Congratulations!


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You are right. I didn't have issues with food being a mental crutch thankfully. Depo provera caused me to gain over 100lbs in less than a yr despite me telling the docs something was wrong. It took me 17yrs to convince doctors that I couldn't do it alone. Once I had the weightloss counseling and surgery I did well except a couple of weeks when my old meds hit my system and I had anxiety, OCD, and self deprecating behavior. Thankfully my husband saw it for what it was and adjusted til my behaviors faded.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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