Has Anyone Kept Their Surgery A Secret?

[teacupnosaucer 445]

I'm losing weight super slowly so nobody's really asking questions, but my plan was to tell fellow fat people looking for a solution--after all it was my hairdresser's honesty about her surgery that lead me to learn how effective and life changing it is--but for the average joe, just say I changed my lifestyle. Which is 100% true.

I realize doing that contributes to the myth among the never-obese that ~drastic permanent weight loss is totally possible if u just try hard enough~ but it's not my personal responsibility to combat that, especially knowing having to argue it over and over again with every joe on the street would be a huge time and energy suck. The information is out there, and if people refuse to take it in, that's on them, not me.

But yes, I do plan on being honest with other people who could use the surgery to make their lives better. I want to share this feeling of hope and possibility with others as it was shared with me!

[Ficklerump 2]

I know someone who has kept it a secret. She even told me to keep it a secret. But as someone else said, we were all in that place once looking for the solution to lose weight. I've always told people and they always think I'm lying! Lol

[Clementine Sky 707]

I had the VSG in August of 2015, and to date the only ones who know about it are my parents (who were my support team), my husband, and my doctors. That's it. It's worked out perfectly for me. I prefer keeping personal health matters private. If I want to share about it, I interact with others on here, while still maintaining my privacy, which I value.

[catlady.2012 22]

Only my husband knows, and 5 years after surgery he is still the only one. I have told no one else as I don't want the snide comments.

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[hardwork&dedication 96]

Here is the study I was talking about, Residual Obesity Stigma.

Residual Stigma -Obesity.pdf

[Judith Meeks-Hakim 7]

On ‎4‎/‎16‎/‎2017 at 0:26 PM, Dtrain84 said:

I've been obese for about half of my life and I have an extensive medical history. I had my surgery April 11th and I decided before the surgery not to tell anyone. Only my wife knows and she is aware of my wishes to keep my surgery secret. Right now I am trying to figure out how to respond when my family members inquire about my rapid weight loss? Has anybody kept surgery a secret and how is it working out so far?

Hello Dtrain84: I have not had surgery but in June is the planned date. Whole-heartedly I know what you doing as far as not telling anyone; my family members are the only ones that knows my journey. It is between GOD, my family and I. The best way I would approach this concern of family asking you about the drastic weight lost; if they knew you were in hospital, you can tell them that you have decided to seriously eliminate the foods that were harmful to you. Basically, you took a new approach on your eating habits and got rid of the foods causing your body to retain the weight or gain weight. Now having control has made you be medically well and your journey of good health is your focus. Some of my co-workers know that I have taken control of my new eating habits and they know of me having surgery; however, not bariatric surgery. So by me being off work for five weeks to heal and them knowing that I will have to drink liquids to prepare self and heal properly; coming back will be a shocker to them but they know how I was before leaving to have surgery "on a journey to a healthier me." I hope this will help you and most of all it is your business and if this makes you feel comfortable, there is nothing wrong with keeping it all to your along with your wife. Take care and GOD bless and I pray all will work out fine with your family. Thanks for sharing; I enjoy this web-site.

Judith

Edited April 25, 2017 by Judith Meeks-Hakim

[Redmaxx 740]

I did at first. However there are now rumors going around that I am sick because of the weight loss. You are damned if you do and damned if you don't.

[Sweet as peaches 759]

9 minutes ago, Redmaxx said:

I did at first. However there are now rumors going around that I am sick because of the weight loss. You are damned if you do and damned if you don't.

Wow! People can be vicious.

[Redmaxx 740]

Vicious or ignorant. I don't know which.

[Julie norton 2,850]

I did not tell anyone but my spouse 10 years ago. My adult kids were at college

The subject rarely comes up now as I seem " normal" sized.

I will discuss it if someone is serious about wls, but otherwise it is just how I live my life: high protein... exercise... water...

Repeat for years.

(Banded 12/06) very thankful

Ps. Don't think I don't stumble often like everyone. I do. Life is hard and good choices can be hard some days.sigh

[GreenEyedGal 19]

I had surgery in February and I only told my husband and 1 friend (who was supposed to go with me). Other than that, no one. I've lost almost 30 lbs and people are noticing I'm losing weight and I just say thank you.

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[Brian B 94]

I only told the people I care about. I equate it to women who have twins when they get invetro... It's not as special as natural twins, lol. I dont want my weight loss lessened due to a misconception that weight loss surgery is a magic pill.

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[cab127 65]

I never shared my surgery with people. I figured it was no ones business

[AngieK72 69]

The only people who know about my surgery are my husband a few coworkers I know I can trust and and aunt and cousin. The decision to have the gastric sleeve surgery has been hard long process. the pros & cons of surgery. The after effects and results... The decision to take my life back and get healthy and hopefully live past 60... getting off of medications and feeling good overall.

There is a stigma placed on people who choose to make this life change. Now mind you I could really care less about what anyone thinks of me and my life. I live it for my husband and myself and that's all that matters. My reason for not sharing... constant questions, comments, assumptions and what not. It's no ones business what I do.

Then there is my mother...anytime anything happens to me she pulls out her "victim" card and overshares with anyone who will listen and console her and offer sympathy etc. She is a good person don't get me wrong but I don't play her games anymore. Can't do it if I want to be healthy mentally.

I figure after surgery if anyone asks about my weight loss I might share or might not. Depends on the person and the way it is brought to my attention.

[MQNIQUE 15]

if you've been fat all your life people that KNOW you are gonna know you've had surgery- or think youre sick. and trust me when I tell you if your wife knows, her bff knows and her bff's husband knows.

this lady at my job had the bypass a year ago and thought nobody here knew. the rapid weight loss and forever present Protein Shakes gave her away, though.

the point is nobody cares! we spend our entire lives worried about what people are going to say/think when in reality people are focused on their own issues.

its a personal decision to either tell or not. my closest friends and fam know- i'll tell the rest after its done.....