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I think I am a hypocrite!



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As I lose the weight, now down 70lbs, I expect more and more people to notice and make a positive comment about it. (The exact opposite thought when I was gaining my weight.)

I was with family and friends last week and their reaction was minimal. I was a little bothered by the lack of reaction, and then realized how hypocritical it is of me to want reactions now, but a few short months ago I did not want any attention given to my physical condition.

A- I am still 280, so it's not like I am skinny.

B- I am wearing smaller size clothes, so my stomach (flat tire) is still visible.

C- it's ok for now as I am only ½ way, and even if no one notices, I do and that is enough.

During that same week we went as a family to Knotts berry farm, I was able to fit on all the rides and roller coasters with my daughters which was a big deal to me personally. I am currently not a slave to my cravings and feel a since of freedom I haven't felt for a very long time.

Do I want people to still notice, yes. But it was a good lesson to learn, I don't need it.

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There is nothing wrong with you wanting some praise for the hard work you have put in. I don't consider that hypocrisy, wanting positive reinforcement as opposed to not wanting to be called out on your weight when you are obviously suffering and aware of the situation. Totally different. However, it is wonderful that you have found happiness and peace combined with non-scale victories to motivate and reward yourself also. I personally fear amusement park rides myself, and hopefully that will change in the near future! Good job and good luck!



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I can understand, but remember something---YOU know your success. YOU know how far you have come. YOU know how amazing your victories are! YOUR KIDS will remember you on the rides! You are free from cravings--time to get free from what people think and say.

Good luck in your journey and enjoy little victories!!


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I can understand, but remember something---YOU know your success. YOU know how far you have come. YOU know how amazing your victories are! YOUR KIDS will remember you on the rides! You are free from cravings--time to get free from what people think and say.

Good luck in your journey and enjoy little victories!!




Amen


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I can understand, but remember something---YOU know your success. YOU know how far you have come. YOU know how amazing your victories are! YOUR KIDS will remember you on the rides! You are free from cravings--time to get free from what people think and say.

Good luck in your journey and enjoy little victories!!




Amen


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I'm pre-op but down 50lbs and am waiting for people to notice. Still hasn't happened. My boyfriend keeps saying there is a huge noticeable difference but it's his job to say nice crap like that lol. I even asked my mom if she saw a difference and she said "not really, but keep up the good work." Gee thanks mom!

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I'm pre-op but down 50lbs and am waiting for people to notice. Still hasn't happened. My boyfriend keeps saying there is a huge noticeable difference but it's his job to say nice crap like that lol. I even asked my mom if she saw a difference and she said "not really, but keep up the good work." Gee thanks mom!

Exactly- what we didn't want the world to notice yesterday, we seek for today, especially from our loved ones. But that I believe while being very real, is lowest common denominator for motivation and doesn't last anyway, because the "wow" effect is just for a moment, no matter how good it feels. As we learn to provide our own wow moments, it becomes sustainable.
Thank you for sharing and congrats on your hard work and success.


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I know the feeling. I am down 58 pounds, family is very supportive and gives me compliments. But only 1 of my friends said something about my weight loss. Sometimes people may be jealous that you are losing weight and taking care of your body. Who knows but as long as you notice the change and your loved ones you are around daily help you to continue to reach your goals that's all that should matter :)


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I know the feeling. I am down 58 pounds, family is very supportive and gives me compliments. But only 1 of my friends said something about my weight loss. Sometimes people may be jealous that you are losing weight and taking care of your body. Who knows but as long as you notice the change and your loved ones you are around daily help you to continue to reach your goals that's all that should matter [emoji4]




Weight is also a pretty sensitive topic so a lot of people don't want to ask. Like they don't want to offend you if you aren't actually losing weight. My boyfriend and I were talking to our landlord last night who knows I am pre-op for WLS. He kept bring up that my boyfriend lost weight and I was kinda hinting at my weight loss and I just got the feeling that he felt so uncomfortable mentioning anything to me about my weight.



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I think you are lucky! I am a private person and not planning to tell anyone but my parents and husband about WLS. I have mentioned eating better to friends and co workers, so they aren't shocked and have lost weight pre surgery- but I really REALLY don't want people to say things like "whoa you really lost weight, or how did you do it etc" it makes me super uncomfortable to talk about weight with people. I loath the idea of my aunts or other relatives bringing this up at family events...

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I'm not telling anyone either. Not even my parents. My boyfriend is the only one that knows. But I have been working out and eating healthy and so no one should really be surprised that I'm losing weight. I will be talking to people and say stuff like "since I have been losing weight...." thinking that they might be scared to bring it up but I still get no response so I'm like damn I guess they really can't see a difference.



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I have not told anyone I got sleeve , but my boyfriend and two friends that also got sleeve. This is a working progress especially when I keep hitting these stalls. 4 months post op 39 lbs lost.



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At first I didn't want anyone to say anything, then I was flattered when they did, then I was disappointed when they stopped.

Now the most frequent comments are not so fun. "Are you sure you're eating enough/getting enough nutrition? I think you need to eat more. You're getting so skinny. You're chest is losing weight but your belly is not. I don't want you to be anorexic."

All meant well, but sheesh!


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Weight is also a pretty sensitive topic so a lot of people don't want to ask. Like they don't want to offend you if you aren't actually losing weight. My boyfriend and I were talking to our landlord last night who knows I am pre-op for WLS. He kept bring up that my boyfriend lost weight and I was kinda hinting at my weight loss and I just got the feeling that he felt so uncomfortable mentioning anything to me about my weight.




Lmaooooooo. Losing nearly 60 pounds is very obvious. When you get your surgery and start to lose weight you'll understand. I never met anyone who got offended by being told it looks like they are losing weight or slimming down. Lmaooooo [emoji30][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]


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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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