Hello all,

I want to thank everyone on this site, I have been reading so much of the entries that I feel I have my own personal support group! What a great bunch of people fat people are! I haven't heard much about how being fat has affected people's personal/married life. Mine has been terrible. I gained 70 pounds with pregnancy and have kept that and more. I now have severe fibromyalgia, PCOS, chronic fatigue, insulin sensitivity, GERD, chronic pain, one back surgery, depression, isolation, etc.

I have a superb husband but our intimacy is all but non existent. He would never say it was due to my size but he and I have known each other all of our lives and I was ALWAYS thin until pregnancy and all the health related issues.

My daughter only gets to play with mom in bed as I cannot get on floor or sit for lengths of time. My BMI is 37-38 and I am 5'5".

I have isolated for 7 years now. I have lost my 30's as I delivered at 31yo and now I am turning 38!~

I do not wear anything but Moo-Moo's out. And I refuse to go anywhere where I may run into anyone from the past, as I was skinny, or any of my husbands friends or aqqaintances. I am tired of being asked if I am pregnant. I have had that happen sooo many times that I am now down right rude and say quietly "no, I am not pregnant" and then shout "I am just FAT". Boy does that do a number on people!

this site is great but I am not finding where the emotional pain or everyone is listed so we can support one another?:think

Anyway, thanks for being there friends!

K

Hi benson 1029!!

I wanted to let you know that you are NOT alone. I also rarely go anywhere that I might see someone I know - which is pretty hard because I live in the same general area that I grew up in. Basically I go to work (they've always known me as obese), anywhere with a drive thru, and most of my shopping is done online. I've avoided wedding, funerals, and parties for years. And until recently, I wasn't aware I was doing it. I told myself I was too tired or didn't have anything to wear, or suddenly felt sick. Sad isn't it? But it was really always because I was ashamed to be seen.

So with that realization and my increasing health problems - I started researching bariatric surgery. I decided that the lapband was for me, attended an information seminar, have had all the testing, and I'm waiting for approval from my ins co. (I was denied on my first attempt)

Continue to read everything on this site, ask questions, go to your state listing on this site and maybe find someone who lives close by. I was almost ready to give up on the surgery when I was denied, but then I read a lot of stories similar to mine on the Insurance forum, and they gave me the inspiration to keep on trying.

How great you are being banded in Nov! Do you have an exact date? Keep in touch.....

Forestcat

Hello!

My weight lost me my husband, although there were many other problems as well. It had also held me back for awhile in my career. I was too embarassed to interview for better jobs and cheated myself out of some great opportunities. I found out I was harder on myself than other people would be. Once I overcame my embarassment of being fat, I went full speed ahead and have carved out a wonderful career with the Department of Defense.

Now...I'm concentrating on losing weight, taking care of me, and hopefully, find my soul-mate.

Be glad you are doing something while you are still young and didn't wait as long as I did.

Hi all! I know that I have alot of the same health problems and emotional ups and downs because of my weight. For a very long time I have let it control me. In May, my doctor suggested the lapband (I have not been scheduled yet, hopefully soon) I look at it , that I am taking control , to do the best for me. A happier, healthy me. I no longer want to live in the shadows, I want to be center stage. I think you have to learn to love yourself before others can love you. Be happy that you have chosen to take charge to change your life for the better. Hugs all around!

Hi everyone,

thanks for all of the wonderful feedback. I am now starting to worry about tummy tucks, liposuction, breast lifts, etc. Somehow I thought the band would do the trick and now I am reading all of the stories of extra skin, cellulite, etc. WHAT, DOES IT NEVER END? Isn't there a way to exercise or something to shrink the skin while you lose? A MONS lift! until now I had no idea that such a thing existed! I will just be glad to see my body again. By the way, does anyone have any suggestions for how to keep the skin under your stomache from becoming red, rashing, split, painful? Let me know, I NEED ya guys!

K :ranger:

Benson,

I, too, am worried about all the extra skin. I know that I will have to get a tummy tuck for sure. I'm not sure about anywhere else. Thank goodness my insurance will cover that surgery.

The doctors say that you should wait about 1-2 years before considering lifts because your skin will change so much.

As far as the rashes under the tummy, put neosporin on it and it should do the trick for you. Once it is healed make sure you're keeping it dry. Sometimes those rashes are yeast infections so be careful.

Have a great day!

Mamasahn, I hope I spelled that right!

Thanks for the input. I love the suggestion of waiting two years to see what happens. I don't have any insurance converage. It's really weird I have always had poor ins. with coverage and now I have great ins. without coverage, so be it, there is a lesson in every experience. I guess mine is that I am worth it.

Also, thanks for the info on the pannis question. I think I have had yeast there :omg:, how do you deal with that?

K

Benson,

So sorry I didn't reply sooner.

If it's a yeast infection it may go away on its own simply by keeping it dry and treating with neosporin, but you may have to get an otc vaginal yeast infection cream and apply a small amount to the area. That should take care of it fine for you.

You hang in there and everything will work out beautifully. Just know that you aren't the only one going through all this and there will be support all over the place. I think my email is on my profile if you want to write anytime.

"Hello all,

I want to thank everyone on this site, I have been reading so much of the entries that I feel I have my own personal support group! What a great bunch of people fat people are! I haven't heard much about how being fat has affected people's personal/married life. Mine has been terrible."

After menopause I think our sex life went downhill fast. I started taking BP medicine and that's when the weight started, aroun 52 years of age. I just don't feel anything much anymore. My hubby still loves and likes me even though being fat. He's never said an unkind word to me about this, so it's not his problom. I am the one who doesn't like to see fat. It's hard also for two fat people to even get there!! You know what I mean? We love each other. We've been married for 43 years! We've been through a lot of ups and downs together and I think the good times out-weigh the bad times and I think on the good times.

"I gained 70 pounds with pregnancy and have kept that and more. I now have severe fibromyalgia, PCOS, chronic fatigue, insulin sensitivity, GERD, chronic pain, one back surgery, depression, isolation, etc."

I also have chronic burning pain in hands, feet, and lower back side. I'm Epileptic. I have only had 3 blackouts, thankfuly. I suffer from insomnia, and depression but the medicine works there for both. I have a friend who has fibromyalgia and I know from her what it does.

"I have a superb husband but our intimacy is all but non existent. He would never say it was due to my size but he and I have known each other all of our lives and I was ALWAYS thin until pregnancy and all the health related issues."

"My daughter only gets to play with mom in bed as I cannot get on floor or sit for lengths of time. My BMI is 37-38 and I am 5'5"."

Yes that must be hard! When my children were young I wasn't like I am now, but I can't do things now with my grandchildren. I have incontinace and must always be near a rest room. I'm sensitive to noise so don't want to be around them much! I'm no fun to be around! I get lonely becasuse of my helth issues and depressed becasue of getting fatter every day!

I have isolated for 7 years now. I have lost my 30's as I delivered at 31yo and now I am turning 38!~"

Your younger than my youngest, a daughter.

I do not wear anything but Moo-Moo's out.

If I could find Moo-Moo's I'd buy them! It's gotten so that I have nothing to wear to leave the house! Yes! I understand that!

"And I refuse to go anywhere where I may run into anyone from the past, as I was skinny, or any of my husbands friends or aqqaintances. I am tired of being asked if I am pregnant. I have had that happen sooo many times that I am now down right rude and say quietly "no, I am not pregnant" and then shout "I am just FAT". Boy does that do a number on people!

this site is great but I am not finding where the emotional pain or everyone is listed so we can support one another?

Anyway, thanks for being there friends!""

No one has responded to me so I thought that I should respond to you. You know, the Golden Rule".

Hang in there!

Nina