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Telling Friends and Family about surgery



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I started off not wanting to tell anyone besides my husband... Then I had to tell my parents out of necessity (they will be babysitting while I travel for surgery)... I told me sister because we're close... Then one by one I've told 3 close friends....

And I'm so happy I did because it will be nice to have support post-op. I may tell others later, but I'm taking it one day, one person at a time!

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This made me smile...so in other words, EVERYONE. Lol



[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23] none of my friends and family or associates know I have the page only my best friend. So they won't see it unless they find me but the world can [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]


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I told my housemates, my Twitter followers and my Facebook friends. A few tried to talk me out of it but I wasn't backing down. One was so negative that I refuse to talk to her again. My surgery was 2/28/17.

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I first told my daughter and my mom since they live with me.

Then I told a few people at work and why I wont be pitching in on pizza no more lol

Now that I got my surgery date..I made a big post on my FB page and everyone was really supportive..if they weren't they didn't say anything which is preferable lol

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I'm not telling anyone but my husband and my close friends. My family doesn't know.


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On March 4, 2017 at 0:16 AM, boymomx2 said:

Did you tell all of your friends and family that you were having the surgery or not? Not sure what to do! My husband knows and other than that I haven't told anyone.

I'm only telling my husband. I'll be travelling alone while he has the kids.

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Having a revision from Lapband to Sleeve (next week) I already feel like Ive failed at this, so I am not only keeping it to myself, I am not telling my teenage children (this should be interesting) and when asked abt the weight loss I will most likely lie to those that knew of my previous surgery and say I'm now using my band or blame it on some new diet. I just don't want the questions/opinions of others....there I said it.

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The people that live in my house with me need to know because while I'm recovering, they have to pick up my slack. It also will help having them watch out for me if I get sick.

Anyone that lives outside the house is on a need to know basis. I definitely won't tell them before the procedure, and I'll play it by ear after.

I don't work, so don't have that dynamic.



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I only told my husband and my mom. My surgery is on March 20th so on or about the 18th I will tell my children I'm having "surgery" to fix a few things.




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I only told my parents, brother and fiancée. I don't want any negative energy around me during this time so I kept it just between us. Afterwards I'll decide if I want to share with others or not. Go with your gut feeling!


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I told anyone and everyone about the surgery and every aspect of my journey since the beginning of my six month pre-op diet program on March 21, 2016. It keeps me accountable, and I am lousy at keeping secrets anyway. And, at this point, I have lost 180 pounds. It's pretty damn obvious that I have had some medical intervention to use as a tool to help me in my journey.

Telling people educates them. I will never regret being open about everything.

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I've only told a few people. I don't know why since I'm pretty much an open book, but just a handful of people know. A few of them probably have already forgotten. Actually, it's a lot of pressure when people know, at least for me. I'd rather get a handle on this before I have to answer anyone's questions. I figure by the time they really start noticing, I'll have my handle on it by then.

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17 minutes ago, blizair09 said:

I told anyone and everyone about the surgery and every aspect of my journey since the beginning of my six month pre-op diet program on March 21, 2016. It keeps me accountable, and I am lousy at keeping secrets anyway. And, at this point, I have lost 180 pounds. It's pretty damn obvious that I have had some medical intervention to use as a tool to help me in my journey.

Telling people educates them. I will never regret being open about everything.

I feel torn. On one hand, how will people know that surgery isn't the easy fix they think it is unless they are privvy to people in that situation and going through that journey? (ME) The only way to change that perception is to be an example. But right off the bat, I just want to recover and do the work and get my head right. I don't want to also have the additional job of educating the masses and defending my decision and learning how to deal with the sting of jerks who don't get it.

Maybe one day I'll be a good surgical ambassador. But that day is not today.

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I'm only 9 days out of surgery but this morning ran into a church member who persistently asked me "Whats up with you, you look really good ?" [emoji12]. It is hard for me to believe but I've already lost about 20 pounds and I think it is mostly in my face. I will be an ambassador for the surgery someday but since I'm literally still walking around with a surgical drain I told her that I'd been getting the best sleep of my life...and that's true. I have a real peacefulness about reclaiming my health. There's another 100 plus to lose so for now just my core group of family, friends and co-worker knows. I'm glad they do know, their support has been a gift.


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I am only planning to tell my husband and adult children. I just don't want to deal with all of the questions and judgments.

I have co-workers that tell me now I don't need to lose weight... obviously they don't understand the health challenges. Although my BMI is only 32, I have type 2 diabetes, high cholesterol, and lower back pain. I carry my weight mainly in the middle and many people don't think I weigh as much as I do. So for right now I am not planning on telling anyone outside my immediate family.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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