I am 8 days away from sleeve surgery. and my friend said to me i bet you are really excited....made me realize, that no, i am nothing but excited. i am arguing myself out of it. 1. i love my thick full naturally curly bouncy hair. i get compliments all the time on what great hair i have. i dont want to lose my hair. 2. i carry my weight only in my stomach and breasts, i have small wrists, ankles, legs and neck, i carry almost no excess weight in my butt. i am 49 and my skin is firm and i have almost zero wrinkles anywhere on my body. i do not want excess hanging skin!! do i really think that would be a better look in a bathing suit than some chubb? 3. i have already lost 65 lbs on my own and why cant i continue and lose another 33 lbs to reach my bmi needed to have breast reduction surgery, which is my WHOLE reason for wanting to lose weight?? 4. would i rather have full firm large breasts the rest of my life, or sagging wrinkled hanging breasts in the event my ins wouldnt pay for the reduction after wls????? and finally....why am i not a good enough person as i am? i am a good friend, i am a good partner to my mate, i am a good mom, i am funny, i love to walk and exercise, i dont binge or gorge myself. i feel more like a failure and more depressed since starting this pre op than i ever felt as an overweight woman.

. My date is around the corner and some fear has to be expected. However, don't rush it. Surgeons are not going anywhere. I started classes for WLS at 16 and I wasn't ready to actually get the surgery until now, 24. I am grateful I waited and urge you to do the same. Otherwise you'll have potential regret even where there is success.

On 2/27/2017 at 9:13 PM, hermione53 said:

Hi bartval30, It sounds like maybe you'd feel better if you put a pause on this whole surgery thing for a while, perhaps to give yourself a chance to see how much further you can go on your own. Kudos to you for losing as much as you have; that certainly shows a lot of tenacity and commitment on your part. Do you feel like you have a different relationship with food now? I lost 80 pounds preop and then with a lap band, but my fixation on food hadn't changed. Given that and lots of complications, I wound up gaining over 50 pounds back prior to my sleeve surgery.

I'm only ten weeks out from surgery, but I attest that this has completely changed my life. I sometimes still deal with head hunger, but I'd say it's decreased by about 80-90%, which has been a huge relief. I understand your worry about losing hair and losing your nice boobs. I'm not at the hair loss stage yet and I worry about it a bit because my hair is thin, but my boobs are awful already (very big for my frame and droopy). I've needed a breast reduction for about 30 years, but I kept telling myself that I needed to reach XXX pounds first. I've started saving money and look forward to a breast reduction/ lifting/ reshaping and all that.

I particularly wanted to respond to your concerns about depression. I've been depressed since childhood (was then dysthymic) and have been on antidpressants for 25+ years. You name it, I've been on it without much in the way of great results. I was super depressed when I had the surgery (was actually on a medical leave because of it and the surgeon questioned if we should wait for a while because she said patients tend to become iritable afterwards). I convinced her that I was ready to go for it and I'm glad I did because we wound up cutting my antidepressants way back and after the first month I started feeling great. I feel like the surgery has reset my personality or something. I don't quite know how to explain it and I'm sure the fact that I'm exercising daily is helping a lot. 25 years of therapy has also helped make me ready for this, I think. I just wanted to let you know that I, myself, felt some moodiness at first, but after just a short while I'm feeling very optimistic and have great energy. Life is good.

Good luck in making this decision! Only you know what's best for you. :-)

thank you for the good advice and for taking time to share your story. i want to pause but am afraid my surgeon would require me to start over and i am not even about to undergo all this testing and appointments over again. i never had a fixation on food at all. until i started this liquid diet, and then i started to miss the foods i had come to eat, spinach, chicken, carrots, etc. i am not saying i never indulged cravings, i would on occasion enjoy a slice of cheesecake, or a swiss mushroom burger, but i always cook my own food and i miss cooking healthy foods. i walk every day, have for around 5 years now, and i have kept off a 65 lb weight loss for 5 years now, but i have been stuck at this current weight and im not getting anywhere.

@bv33 First and foremost, I hope you realize in the very core of your being that your size is not connected to the goodness of your heart and the type of person you are. I know you can probably agree with that, but I hope you really FEEL it and KNOW it. You are worthy of love and good things!

I just wanted to let you know we have some similar issues. I am in my early 40s and 6 months post-op. I had some doubts too, but am glad I did this. I have PCOS and and as you know, it really can take a toll on your body. Almost all of my weight issues and subsequent co-morbidites were related to PCOS. Since surgery, my BP is good, I no longer use a sleep apnea machine, and I am not in fear of insulin resistance. No more metformin!

I had very thick hair. So thick, that I would have to have it thinned a great deal about every 6 weeks. I started losing hair around the 3 month mark but it hasn't been a big deal. It's now more like a "normal" head of hair and it not noticeable to anyone besides me and my hairdresser. This is only temporary and it will grow back.

My skin has held up suprisingly well. I am heavily tattoed and so far everything looks as it should. I have days that I think I look older, but I had those same days when I was heavier. I was a DDD/E and definitely a candidate for reduction. I have gone down to a D, but don't feel that I am super saggy. Not hauling around all that weight around feels different (and good!). I do have some saggy skin here and there but it's not something I worry about or even think about during the course of a normal day.

I can't say enough about how the overall quiality of my life has improved.

I hope you wil take an equal amount of time to think about the reasons you DO want to do the surgery. Best wishes to you on coming to a decision that is right for YOU!

ready_forchange....thank you for your comments....i have been trying for about 10 years now to get approved for breast reduction surgery, like yourself, I lost a significant amount of weight, 73 lbs in total, and still my breasts never changed. i have heavy dense thick breasts, firm for a 50 year old woman, and suffer terrible back, and neck pain, yet the doctors will not approve me because all they look at is the bmi number and insurance companies argue it is a cosmetic procedure. unless and until my bmi reaches 34 will my insurance company even approve a referral and consult. now i could pay myself if i could afford that, I guess one could try to finance it and set it up on payments. but it buffles my mind that they will pay for wls surgery for someone who really would benefit from br surgery on its own. so for me, i made the decision to do the wls simply to lose this extra 33 lbs I need to reach to get to that bmi and every second of this process i have made it known to everyone why i was doing it, at no time did they ever suggest to send me to see the reconstructive surgeon to see if i could get approved without wls.

My BMI was still high when I had mine. When I was approved it was over 40, but by the time I had it done it was about 35. Some people have large boobs no matter what size they are. I would suggest asking your doctor for a letter of recommendation, and send you to a plastic surgeon.