So I had rny 6 months ago today. I've lost 104 lbs. I've been exercising 3-4 times a week, 2 of the days are strength training. I've felt great up until about a month ago. I've been wanting to, and have eaten stuff I know is bad. I'm getting angry at myself for it. I don't feel happy now because I feel like I'm failing. I have told myself through this whole process that 'I will not go backwards. This is a major step towards making my health better. I can't throw it away'. Has anyone else felt like this? Do you just keep pushing through and it will pass? If I keep myself busy, I'm usually ok. But as soon as I stop I get bored and want to graze. And please don't say, stay busy because I work 6 days a week on my feet and exercise 4 days a week and run kids around with sports and cook dinner and...ok I'm a busy mom...so, I sometimes enjoy sitting and catching up on some dvr time...and TV=food.

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I'm a believer that we are allowed to have something "bad" every now and then so long as mentally we are aware of what we're putting in our mouth, and that it can't happen all the time. I had a small slice of cheesecake last night because we were celebrating a birthday. I had to have mine 3 hours after dinner, but I got to have a few bites of it and it was great. I've had some organic baked potato chips a couple of times. I've eaten popcorn at the movie theater twice. Those are about the extent of "bad things" I've had.

This surgery is not (though many seem to believe it is) meant to eradicate every unhealthy piece of food from your life for the rest of your life. That's really setting yourself up to fail because it is natural to want something "bad". What this surgery is for is to push us to eat healthy things first and have the bad things fewer and less of. That's what I stick to. I'm lucky enough that I can have these "bad" things every so often and stick to my healthy eating the rest of the time. In the beginning the first time I broke away from my diet (3 months post-op I had some cheesecake when we went out of town) I beat myself up for it so badly that I was so angry with myself. Then a friend of mine who was the opposite of me, she suffered from bulimia, scolded me for it because for 3 months I stuck to it and I went right back to it after that small piece. I didn't make it a habit, I didn't let it lead me to other things constantly. Her advice was to allow myself those things as a treat every once in a while to keep myself mentally steady. For me it's worked. I know not everyone has the willpower, and it can be a slippery slope if you let it. Be aware. If you're grazing, graze on healthy things like veggies. Save the "bad" things for the once in a while "treats", but only if you are confident that you can stay on track doing so. Having things once in a while doesn't make you a failure.

I'm a believer that we are allowed to have something "bad" every now and then so long as mentally we are aware of what we're putting in our mouth, and that it can't happen all the time. I had a small slice of cheesecake last night because we were celebrating a birthday. I had to have mine 3 hours after dinner, but I got to have a few bites of it and it was great. I've had some organic baked potato chips a couple of times. I've eaten popcorn at the movie theater twice. Those are about the extent of "bad things" I've had.

This surgery is not (though many seem to believe it is) meant to eradicate every unhealthy piece of food from your life for the rest of your life. That's really setting yourself up to fail because it is natural to want something "bad". What this surgery is for is to push us to eat healthy things first and have the bad things fewer and less of. That's what I stick to. I'm lucky enough that I can have these "bad" things every so often and stick to my healthy eating the rest of the time. In the beginning the first time I broke away from my diet (3 months post-op I had some cheesecake when we went out of town) I beat myself up for it so badly that I was so angry with myself. Then a friend of mine who was the opposite of me, she suffered from bulimia, scolded me for it because for 3 months I stuck to it and I went right back to it after that small piece. I didn't make it a habit, I didn't let it lead me to other things constantly. Her advice was to allow myself those things as a treat every once in a while to keep myself mentally steady. For me it's worked. I know not everyone has the willpower, and it can be a slippery slope if you let it. Be aware. If you're grazing, graze on healthy things like veggies. Save the "bad" things for the once in a while "treats", but only if you are confident that you can stay on track doing so. Having things once in a while doesn't make you a failure.

Thank you.

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Even before my RNY which I am 3 and 1/2 years out. My Surgeon and Nutritionist both told me that their are no forbidden foods. In time ( like after you are at goal) you can have some in MODERATION!! That is the key for me. I don't beat myself up over eating something. The difference now is I can't eat a HUGE amount of anything. I know this doesn't work for some but for me it has worked. I lost 132#'s in 6 months. I did gain 8#'s back but I have maintained my 124# loss for 3 years. You just need to have a understanding that you can't eat a huge amount. Take a little and be satisfied with it. Good Luck and STOP beating yourself up. That will undo you for sure!!

Even before my RNY which I am 3 and 1/2 years out. My Surgeon and Nutritionist both told me that their are no forbidden foods. In time ( like after you are at goal) you can have some in MODERATION!! That is the key for me. I don't beat myself up over eating something. The difference now is I can't eat a HUGE amount of anything. I know this doesn't work for some but for me it has worked. I lost 132#'s in 6 months. I did gain 8#'s back but I have maintained my 124# loss for 3 years. You just need to have a understanding that you can't eat a huge amount. Take a little and be satisfied with it. Good Luck and STOP beating yourself up. That will undo you for sure!!

Thank you. I didn't beat myself up until I noticed myself wanting more and finding it hard to discipline myself. It just started over the past month and has slowly gotten worse. I feel like I just need to talk about it and fight through it. Talking does make me feel better. I know I've done good thus far. Just mad that I'm here now wanting to eat the bad stuff. I was thinking about setting on the calendar 2 cheat days a month. When I want to eat something...save it for the cheat day. So that way it's just a couple times a month instead of a couple times a week.

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That's a good way to do it, especially if it helps you! I mean, yeah I have a small piece of something and of course I want more of it. Those foods are designed to hook you in. It's a test of your willpower and strength to say no and turn to the healthy foods and keep them as limited in moderation. You can do it!

Stay strong

Interesting so I'm 2lbs from goal and I find myself eating sweets more now I don't beat myself up about it but I feel like I should be. I will eat like 2 spoons of a really bad banana pudding everyday because it's in the fridge. For me it's an out of sight out of mind thing I really won't go out the way to get something but if it's there then I'm eating it. I haven't gained any weight but I'm only 8 months out and I do work out 5 days a week. I know the struggle it's not easy and for me my will power is low if it's easily available. Just keep trying and like the post above if you can do it and stop good if not and your like me try to keep it away for limited occasions

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Interesting so I'm 2lbs from goal and I find myself eating sweets more now I don't beat myself up about it but I feel like I should be. I will eat like 2 spoons of a really bad banana pudding everyday because it's in the fridge. For me it's an out of sight out of mind thing I really won't go out the way to get something but if it's there then I'm eating it. I haven't gained any weight but I'm only 8 months out and I do work out 5 days a week. I know the struggle it's not easy and for me my will power is low if it's easily available. Just keep trying and like the post above if you can do it and stop good if not and your like me try to keep it away for limited occasions

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It's so hard. I'm glad I'm not alone. Thanks for sharing.

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I found the book The End Of Overeating really useful. Dr. K. points out that it's not 100% willpower, and those who try to depend on willpower alone likely fail at getting control of their eating. Sugar salt, and fats affect us neurologically, and are as addictive as tobacco, alcohol and other drugs. I write a bit about it on my blog but this is the link to Amazon. I did search and find it at my library, as an ebook, as well.

We can't do it alone and asking for help is the intelligent thing to do!

Hang in there!!

Make sure that your not "justifying" your eating because "you had a bad day" or "you deserve a cheat day" I r your mad at your spouse and want to hurt him, but end "hurting" yourself instead.

Say this is awesome food and I want a bite. Treat it as a treat and not a reward.... that is how I got up to 380lbs. Like myself I Keep focusing on I deserve to be healthy and look at food as fuel. I fall off the wagon, but keep getting back on. It's when you stop getting back on that you fail, not when you fall off.