15 Weeks Post Op: What my life looks like - LONG

[LittleLizzieLilliput 919]

I'm 15 weeks post op this week! WOO HOO!! I've lost over 50 lbs so far. I had the VGS, Hiatal Hernia repair and Gallbladder removal. I was pretty weak post op and didn't really heal, get mobile, till 8 weeks.

Food: This is a general look and the stuff I eat. I tend to eat the same things for years on end. I know it's weird. lol! I make everything at home and I use low fat, sugar substitutes and high Protein whatevers I need to make the dishes. I put aside one day a week to do all my food prep. Usually Saturday or Sunday while I'm cleaning the house as well. I found that I have been far more successful when I make my own food and take the time to create really delicious flavorful dishes. Then when I'm hungry I'm excited to eat the food I made and I don't even think about going out and buy my meal.

Breakfast: have low carb english muffin with 4 pieces of Hormel Black Label pre-cooked bacon heated, one slice low fat american cheese. This is my high fat meal. I have tried so many other Breakfast things but this is the one that my new stomach digests the best and my tastebuds still like.

Protein: 18g

Fat: 16g

Cal: 296

Lunch: 4 oz Homemade Butter chicken (Indian dish, not much butter despite name, lol)

Protein: 20g

Fat: 10g

Cal: 214

Snack: 4 oz Homemade Butter Chicken

Protein: 20g

Fat: 10g

Cal: 214

Dinner: 4oz Homemade Chicken Teriyaki (I make my own teriyaki using splenda brown sugar, low sodium soy and real honey)

Protein: 26g

Fat: 4.5g

Cal: 130

Exercise: I walk 20-30 minutes vigorously twice a day, 10 and 2 generally, I purchased an under the desk eliptical (https://wiki.ezvid.com/best-desk-ellipticals?id=adw&gclid=CjwKEAiA2abEBRCdx7PqqunM1CYSJABf3qva7xq2EINdf9gHKU-V7MNl197f-b-wrCB5-1Vwvw181RoCGJLw_wcB The one I have is the blue one in the middle) and use it all day.

I also walk and run around all day at work and then go to all the hockey games here so I walk several blocks to and from the stadium 2-4 times a week.

And then I am generally MUCH more active. I jump, run, move quickly and love to feel my muscles work so easily and it feels so GOOD.

Size: I find that I am MORE excited about moving to a lower size than I am about a drop in weight.

Started out as a size 24, I'm currently a size 18 about to shift to a size 16. OMG do I love seeing my ass look cute and perky in these tight jeans!!! lol! I find myself staring at my ass sometimes, I had no idea it was adorable. hahah!! Conceded? Maybe but the joy I get at seeing I have something cute I like about my body has been a great and wonderful part of this experience. Also, it seems I have a bit of an hourglass figure!! I had no idea really.

It's amazing watching my body reveal itself to me. Seeing my bones and curves, my saggy places showing the frame underneath, the feel of my arms able to fold under my breasts and feel my ribs. To feel my pelvic bones pop out when I'm laying in bed. lol! John Mayer was RIGHT, my body is wonderland, but not quite the way he intended. hahah!

Psychologically: This is where I feel I'm doing the best. WOW did I struggle. This was not an easy process for me. I didn't decided to do this. It was forced on me by my own morbid obesity. I was dying last year. My gallbladder, my pancreas, my kidneys. All bad.

My gallbladder went bad, real bad, and they took months to figure it out. Once they did my doc just said to me "Look, do you want me to make this easy for you?" I said yes. She said "Just get the VGS and have your gallbladder out. You will feel 20 years younger and be off all these meds and I will rarely see you. You have the best insurance and will only pay $500 max out of pocket. Or you can just have your gallbladder out and die in the next 10 years." Well, it's hard to argue with that logic. In fact it was so hard to argue with it I had not choice but to just do it. Somewhat reluctantly. I was scared. This is a huge permanent choice but I realized then I'd used up all my time to do it "my way". I didn't have time left. I was dying. I was sick every day vomiting, in and out of the hospital. My mom and sister weren't happy with the choice, they were scared too. But we also knew I had to do something now if I wanted to change my future and have one.

So after the surgery I struggled with the emotional loss of my stomach, my old way of life, my old way of soothing myself, my old way of being me. I was fine at first and then at 4 weeks when I was still so weak and healing and miserable I started crying and didn't stop for a week. I was in mourning and I realized I had to experience it all, I couldn't suppress my feelings anymore because that was killing me too. So I cried and I felt sorry for myself and I moped. And then a week later I moved to my next food stage, I realized I wasn't trapped, that I had options and I needed to give it more time.

From that point on it's been wonderful. It's like I allowed myself to mourn and grieve and feel and then like a burned out forest meadow the fresh new sprout of green flowers start pushing up. Slowly that meadow, my emotional landscape, has bloomed. I am so happy now, I get so excited to go to work knowing I'm going to be taking two walk breaks and feeling so good walking. I love checking out my profile in the windows - something that I refused to do before.

I'm smiling and laughing more and I'm beginning to consider dating again. My life is opening up like a flower and I love it. And it's only been 15 weeks!! My life is so much more, so much bigger than before. It's weird, the bigger I was the smaller my world became. The smaller I am the bigger my world is becoming.

[JamieLogical 8,684]

Sounds like you are doing great! Congrats on all your success thus far!

[citizenlizzie 41]

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your grieving and healing...I needed this today. Hugs!

Sent from my XT1650 using the BariatricPal App

[Torriluv87 300]

Tears. This almost brought me to tears. It could be my period is around the corner or im just really happy for you lol. Almost 4 months out. Every day is a little different and every week i feel like i can do a little more than before. It's encouraging and exciting.

Sent from my SM-G925T using the BariatricPal App

[sherri~ 77]

[emoji173][emoji173][emoji173]

[Berry78 4,259]

Wow, artistry with words.

Thank You