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Spouse helping

HookerSpouse

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KWeilbrenner09    88

KWeilbrenner09
Posted

Not my spouse but I stayed with my mom for the two weeks after my surgery.

What helped me was having all my "food" in one place on the counter and one shelf in the fridge. She also would go on my walks with me and that was super nice.

Also, helping to remind your wife to eat and drink on schedule. It isn't easy but the reminders are nice.

I needed help getting up and out of bed for the first week as well as taking showers and going to the bathroom.

Lastly, because I went to bed so much earlier, I was sleeping 12-14 hours per night post surgery, mom would tuck me into bed. It just felt nice to be cared for.

After the first week, I was much more independent! Hope this helps!

Katy W- Louisburg, NC

Lapband revision to VSG with DS

HW- 297

Weight at Surgery-279

CW- will update at two week appt

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DaleCruse    756

DaleCruse
Posted

You're being a very good spouse by asking for suggestions. Nice job! One thing to keep in mind is your spouse may look very different after losing a lot of weight. But that person is still the person you fell in love with. That person may look a little different, may act a little different, but is still that person you fell in love with.

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HookerSpouse    7

HookerSpouse
Posted

I never thought about that aspect. I do realize it will be the same person. I have kept on seeing that her attitude would change after surgery.

With that said. What things can I do and say to get through those attitude changes.

Thanks for all the advice and eye opening perspectives.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

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Vee16    33

Vee16
Posted

Everyone is different so it's hard to say what you should say to your wife but for the most part and in general we just want our partners to look at us the same way they did before. In love.

This surgery made me emotional and cranky. So just be patient. In the end she will be so happy and much more in love with you. My husband was so caring and attentive even when I was moody and now I'm doting on him lol

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Hellya    144

Hellya
Posted (edited)

This surgery made me emotional and cranky. So just be patient.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

This. So much this. I got so mad at my husband one time when he was actually trying so hard to be helpful! Of course, I wasn't mad at him at all, just mad that I was feeling crappy and nothing was making me feel better. What I really needed was gas-x strips and kaepectate, lol. She will want to feel better sooner than she will, and that can be hard, so be kind and patient and aware of what her needs are. I like to be mostly left alone when hurting or sick, but some people need a cuddle or to be doted on. You know your wife. :)

Edited by Hellya

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abaker04    22

abaker04
Posted

This surgery made me emotional and cranky. So just be patient.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

This. So much this. I got so mad at my husband one time when he was actually trying so hard to be helpful! Of course, I wasn't mad at him at all, just mad that I was feeling crappy and nothing was making me feel better. What I really needed was gas-x strips and kaepectate, lol. She will want to feel better sooner than she will, and that can be hard, so be kind and patient and aware of what her needs are. I like to be mostly left alone when hurting or sick, but some people need a cuddle or to be doted on. You know your wife. :)
Same here. I'm not even a week out and had a huge breakdown today. Like ugly crying breakdown. He listened and did not critize me. Mainly it was "I'm hurting, I'm hungry, I'm tired etc etc..what did it do to myslef?" He knows as well as I do that I chose this. But I for sure didn't want to hear "Suck it up buttercup! You chose to have this surgery, so get over it. " Just like the other ladies said be there for her. Also if you have kids try to keep them out of her hair. You delegate and take care of them. Try to let her rest. Sounds like you will do fine! Good luck.

~Ashley~

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HookerSpouse    7

HookerSpouse
Posted

Thank you all!! I am taking leave for a about a week to make sure I can have our lil one outta her hair. Also to help her in what she needs to do.

I would never tell her to suck it up. Lol. Only do that if I wanna get knocked out.

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abaker04    22

abaker04
Posted

Thank you all!! I am taking leave for a about a week to make sure I can have our lil one outta her hair. Also to help her in what she needs to do.

I would never tell her to suck it up. Lol. Only do that if I wanna get knocked out.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

You sound like a smart man! My husband would never say that to me either unless he wanted to die! Lol However you know what I'm saying. He would have been right to say "well you chose to have this surgery etc etc" but instead he just listened and asked if there was anything he could to make it better. Short of time traveling into the future where I get to start soft "real" food I don't think so! Just listening and showing his support is plenty.

~Ashley~

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doxaholic    252

doxaholic
Posted

Hooker spouse make sure you thank your parents they seem to have raised a good kid. Good for you for wanting to be there for your spouse. Your type of story is rare to hear most of the stories of spouses on here are of them being selfish and cruel. So your questions are very refreshing. Make sure you eat but dont do it like your hiding from her. Also yes you have to eat but keep it simple dont go get her favorites and chomp down in front of her.

Sent from my SM-G920P using the BariatricPal App

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Go To Topic Listing PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A

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    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • bellaamey

      bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
      · 0 replies
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