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Spouse helping

HookerSpouse

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KWeilbrenner09    88

KWeilbrenner09
Posted

Not my spouse but I stayed with my mom for the two weeks after my surgery.

What helped me was having all my "food" in one place on the counter and one shelf in the fridge. She also would go on my walks with me and that was super nice.

Also, helping to remind your wife to eat and drink on schedule. It isn't easy but the reminders are nice.

I needed help getting up and out of bed for the first week as well as taking showers and going to the bathroom.

Lastly, because I went to bed so much earlier, I was sleeping 12-14 hours per night post surgery, mom would tuck me into bed. It just felt nice to be cared for.

After the first week, I was much more independent! Hope this helps!

Katy W- Louisburg, NC

Lapband revision to VSG with DS

HW- 297

Weight at Surgery-279

CW- will update at two week appt

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DaleCruse    756

DaleCruse
Posted

You're being a very good spouse by asking for suggestions. Nice job! One thing to keep in mind is your spouse may look very different after losing a lot of weight. But that person is still the person you fell in love with. That person may look a little different, may act a little different, but is still that person you fell in love with.

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HookerSpouse    7

HookerSpouse
Posted

I never thought about that aspect. I do realize it will be the same person. I have kept on seeing that her attitude would change after surgery.

With that said. What things can I do and say to get through those attitude changes.

Thanks for all the advice and eye opening perspectives.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

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Vee16    33

Vee16
Posted

Everyone is different so it's hard to say what you should say to your wife but for the most part and in general we just want our partners to look at us the same way they did before. In love.

This surgery made me emotional and cranky. So just be patient. In the end she will be so happy and much more in love with you. My husband was so caring and attentive even when I was moody and now I'm doting on him lol

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

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Hellya    144

Hellya
Posted (edited)

This surgery made me emotional and cranky. So just be patient.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

This. So much this. I got so mad at my husband one time when he was actually trying so hard to be helpful! Of course, I wasn't mad at him at all, just mad that I was feeling crappy and nothing was making me feel better. What I really needed was gas-x strips and kaepectate, lol. She will want to feel better sooner than she will, and that can be hard, so be kind and patient and aware of what her needs are. I like to be mostly left alone when hurting or sick, but some people need a cuddle or to be doted on. You know your wife. :)

Edited by Hellya

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abaker04    22

abaker04
Posted

This surgery made me emotional and cranky. So just be patient.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

This. So much this. I got so mad at my husband one time when he was actually trying so hard to be helpful! Of course, I wasn't mad at him at all, just mad that I was feeling crappy and nothing was making me feel better. What I really needed was gas-x strips and kaepectate, lol. She will want to feel better sooner than she will, and that can be hard, so be kind and patient and aware of what her needs are. I like to be mostly left alone when hurting or sick, but some people need a cuddle or to be doted on. You know your wife. :)
Same here. I'm not even a week out and had a huge breakdown today. Like ugly crying breakdown. He listened and did not critize me. Mainly it was "I'm hurting, I'm hungry, I'm tired etc etc..what did it do to myslef?" He knows as well as I do that I chose this. But I for sure didn't want to hear "Suck it up buttercup! You chose to have this surgery, so get over it. " Just like the other ladies said be there for her. Also if you have kids try to keep them out of her hair. You delegate and take care of them. Try to let her rest. Sounds like you will do fine! Good luck.

~Ashley~

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HookerSpouse    7

HookerSpouse
Posted

Thank you all!! I am taking leave for a about a week to make sure I can have our lil one outta her hair. Also to help her in what she needs to do.

I would never tell her to suck it up. Lol. Only do that if I wanna get knocked out.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

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abaker04    22

abaker04
Posted

Thank you all!! I am taking leave for a about a week to make sure I can have our lil one outta her hair. Also to help her in what she needs to do.

I would never tell her to suck it up. Lol. Only do that if I wanna get knocked out.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

You sound like a smart man! My husband would never say that to me either unless he wanted to die! Lol However you know what I'm saying. He would have been right to say "well you chose to have this surgery etc etc" but instead he just listened and asked if there was anything he could to make it better. Short of time traveling into the future where I get to start soft "real" food I don't think so! Just listening and showing his support is plenty.

~Ashley~

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doxaholic    252

doxaholic
Posted

Hooker spouse make sure you thank your parents they seem to have raised a good kid. Good for you for wanting to be there for your spouse. Your type of story is rare to hear most of the stories of spouses on here are of them being selfish and cruel. So your questions are very refreshing. Make sure you eat but dont do it like your hiding from her. Also yes you have to eat but keep it simple dont go get her favorites and chomp down in front of her.

Sent from my SM-G920P using the BariatricPal App

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