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Haters will always hate



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I'm a private person and have not told anyone at work about my surgery. Last Friday a co-worker, who is also obese, took the liberty to comment on my weight loss. " You're just wasting away! You look good. But you don't need to loose anymore weight."

I was so shocked and really wasn't ready for a comment like that. All I could do was laugh it off.

Fast forward to today. A different co-worker said the same thing to me. " You're wasting away"

I just responded with "yeah your right."

All of my co-workers are used to seeing me at 260 pounds . I am now 185. I'm still obese and have no intention to self sabotage my progress because of anyone's ideal of what "Looks good enough."

My goal is to become healthy and maintain a "normal bmi." I'm sure others will begin to comment even more as time progresses.

I'm staying on plan and I'm ready for the haters.

Sent from my Nexus 6P using the BariatricPal App

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I don't tell people either. I'm in the early weight loss phase so people are not commenting a lot, but a few have said I look thinner in my face. I say thanks and that I'm working at it. If they ask what I do I tell the truth that I'm eating healthier, using My Fitness Pal, and watching my portions. This is all true. I don't mention I had lap band surgery. The surgery is a tool, but we still have to change your relationship with food and exercise.

Edited by Treadmillwalker

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@@Treadmillwalker The second co-worker knows that I have changed my eating and have been working out. I became lactose intolerant and gluten sensitive. So she is aware that my diet is restrictive in that respect. She is also aware that I love swimming and do so every morning for 30 minutes before work 5 days a week. She is 5ft 2 and is about 127 pounds and has an exercise regime. The talk of exercise always comes up with her.

Sent from my Nexus 6P using the BariatricPal App

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I found very few true haters along the way. Turn the tables and imagine if you saw someone drop weight at an incredibly fast pace beyond the usual lore of 1-2 pounds per week. You would probably comment as well because our transformations are shocking. Everyday on here people post things like, "5 months out and 70 pounds gone forever!" That's not typical for most people and if no one knows you have an extra tool to attain rapid weight loss, why does this surprise you? In the end, I got my fair share of "you don't need to lose anymore" comments but it was never with any real malice, there was occasional jealously once or twice, but mostly just curiosity and true amazement at such rapid change.

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I found very few true haters along the way. Turn the tables and imagine if you saw someone drop weight at an incredibly fast pace beyond the usual lore of 1-2 pounds per week. You would probably comment as well because our transformations are shocking. Everyday on here people post things like, "5 months out and 70 pounds gone forever!" That's not typical for most people and if no one knows you have an extra tool to attain rapid weight loss, why does this surprise you? In the end, I got my fair share of "you don't need to lose anymore" comments but it was never with any real malice, there was occasional jealously once or twice, but mostly just curiosity and true amazement at such rapid change.

I can see your point of view on this. I expect curiosity from others. However I did not expect the comment to not loose anymore weight at the current weight that I am. I'm sure some people will become jealous as well.

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Just tell them you gave up Oreo's so or some other junk food that YOU SEE THEM EAT EVERY DAY and I will Guarantee you will never hear from them again!!

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@@pvechiola That's a thought! Challenge accepted. LOL.

Sent from my Nexus 6P using the BariatricPal App

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I'm really open with people about my surgery. I don't think it's fair for people to think I'm dropping weight this fast because I'm eating right and exercising. I know that when I was bigger, and people told me that, I always wondered why it never worked for me and got discouraged. I try to use my surgery as a way to build people up, ya know?

I definitely understand keeping it private though. I don't post about it on Facebook, or at least I haven't yet, but when people ask I tell them.

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@@pvechiola That's a thought! Challenge accepted. LOL.

Sent from my Nexus 6P using the BariatricPal App

You're gonna floor those fatties, I can say that because I'm still a fatties myself . They should be telling you how fantastic you look but because they are jealous they say you're loosing too much don't listen to them????

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I'm really open with people about my surgery. I don't think it's fair for people to think I'm dropping weight this fast because I'm eating right and exercising. I know that when I was bigger, and people told me that, I always wondered why it never worked for me and got discouraged. I try to use my surgery as a way to build people up, ya know?

I definitely understand keeping it private though. I don't post about it on Facebook, or at least I haven't yet, but when people ask I tell them.

I'm glad that being open about your surgery works for you.

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Being from the south, I would just say "well aren't you sweet" and move on...

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Being from the south, I would just say "well aren't you sweet" and move on...

You mean "well bless your heart" ? LoL .. I've heard that can be and is used sorta sarcastically ;)

Munky

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Being from the south, I would just say "well aren't you sweet" and move on...

You mean "well bless your heart" ? LoL .. I've heard that can be and is used sorta sarcastically ;)

Munky

When someone gives a compliment (sincere or otherwise), I'll often say "well aren't you sweet." It works in either case.

"Bless your heart" moments and people are a whole other thing! :-)

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I found very few true haters along the way. Turn the tables and imagine if you saw someone drop weight at an incredibly fast pace beyond the usual lore of 1-2 pounds per week. You would probably comment as well because our transformations are shocking. Everyday on here people post things like, "5 months out and 70 pounds gone forever!" That's not typical for most people and if no one knows you have an extra tool to attain rapid weight loss, why does this surprise you? In the end, I got my fair share of "you don't need to lose anymore" comments but it was never with any real malice, there was occasional jealously once or twice, but mostly just curiosity and true amazement at such rapid change.

I can see your point of view on this. I expect curiosity from others. However I did not expect the comment to not loose anymore weight at the current weight that I am. I'm sure some people will become jealous as well.
I see your point also and curiosity is normal, no problem! However, I have had to stop being around people, one or two of which I believed to be friends of mine for comments like "you lost so much weight, you bitch!" Or "wow you look great, I hate you so much!". I realize these things were said in jest but I'm on a new path in my life and negativity will not be part of it. Just sayin..

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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