Hi guys, thanks for starting this thread. It's nice to be able to talk freely without anyone knowing me and therefore judging me. I've been struggling with my weight now for over 10 years. I have two wonderful children 9 & 13 - I'm separated and to be really honest haven't had sex with anyone for 9 years - purely because well..... I can't stand looking at myself in the mirror let alone having anyone else get that close. If anyone classifies for being a born again virgin I'm it....Looking back though it gets pretty depressing not having that intimacy and knowing its only because of self esteem issues. I keep trying to convince myself that I’m too busy and I don’t want any of my time taken away from the kids. I also grew up with 3 brothers who always called me a &@^#%*$ ugly mole. Then of course there was my ex husband who was the first (at age 22) and only guy who I’ve ever had sex with (no I'm not religious). After two pregnancies all I got from him was fat ugly *^#$% - he later confessed to having an affair for every year we were together (9 in total) - my best friend included. Unfortunately you start believing that you’re worthless. More so though, I think the weight issue and bingeing is more of a protection issue - you know - if I'm big no one will find me attractive therefore I'm safe from being hurt again. I’ve never been bulimic but I have used every type of pill out there to control my weight.

Anyway bla bla bla bla....... here I am a self paying Aussie lapster (approx $11K) and I'm still unsure of whether to do it or not - I know I don't want to look back in another 10 years regretting that I didn't go for the op.... I guess that’s why I'm here - to get your support, to forge ahead into new frontiers, new experiences, new hope, new friendships...... I wish everyone one here all the success that they deserve...

I'm scheduled in for the 5th October. I weigh 100kg (220 pounds) and I'm 176cms with a BMI of 33. My weaknesses: chocolate, coke and of course large serves.....

Talk to you soon.

M

Becoming attractive again kinda freaks me out. I've always been one of those that the minute people start to compliment me on my weight loss I pack the pounds right back on (plus a few to boot usually). So I've really been working on my head to try to figure out how to stop myself from self destructing once I'm banded. I really believe we have to go through just as much mentally as we will physically for the band to be successful. and I believe we can all find our sexy selves again

This has been my exact feelings all along...what if I can't handle being SEXY? It is funny because being sexy is what I dream about, but I am so scared of it at the same time! I think I liked hiding behind my fat, because nothing was ever expected of me. I am getting going to get some councilling regarding this issue, so I can overcome it.

Hi Jude

Hope everything went well for you yesterday and the pain is as little as possible. Are you experience problems with peeing? You no like when on Duramine you want to go you can feel it coming but you just can dam well do it???

I'm hoping this is normal and can be put down to the drugs wer're taking now for the pain.

Cheers

Christine