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Help, my Daughter doesn't want me to have lapband surgery

Hi all, I've been reading on this site for awhile, so I finally decided to post. I have my Drs appt on Sept 26, and have decided with my husband that this is for me. At 52 and BMI of 45, and many comorbidities, I am ready for, qualify, and my insurance will pay. My problem is, my 33 yr old daughter is agaist it, and has made a date to discuss this with me and my husband on Friday. She thinks I can do it on my own. Of course she is a size 3. I have lost over 100 lb several times in the past, but have always gained it back, plus some, so at this age I just can't do that again. Any suggestions on a good approach to make her understand it's more dangerous to stay in this yo yo pattern than to have a 1/2 hr sugery and getting my life back? Any help would be appriciated. :help:

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"there is "no discrimination" --ha--when you're heavier--you're discounted as "stupid"--which i'm not.

As girlinnyc wrote, we have all known the physical and mental stigma that goes with obesity most of our lives. The thought process is that we could not possibly have a brain, or why would we CHOOSE to be obese? (As if it's an option!)

I read in a book (The Underburner Diet) that the author's daughter said to her "I hate to see fat people chow, Mom" and it's really the way society views us.

Even alcoholics can hide their disease and are held in higher esteem... It is just so terrific that we have a relatively safe choice now to limit our portion intake.

Your size 3 daughter doesn't realize the issues we've all had to deal with--you just go for it, Jeanne...:clap2:

For me, it was my mother who wasn't so keen on the procedure. She is very scared of surgery for any reason and I can respect that. However, she's a size 10/12 and doesn't understand what it's like to struggle with weight (although she swears that she does). I told her that I respect the fact that she doesn't agree with it, but I would appreciate her support with my decision. She was at the hospital with me during the surgery. Well...needless to say...she is SO proud of me now. I think that it's very difficult for people who do not struggle with their weight to truly understand what we go through. Sit down with your daughter and explain everything to her. Have you look around this website go get more information. Good luck to you!

I brought my daughter with me to the seminar about the band. She has also watched me gain and lose hundreds of lbs. during her life (age 21)..she is concerned I know, that I will not be around for her children and the future. With a BMI of 46 and age 49, I know she is right. Once you have made your mind up, it is your decision.

Agree with you! I am holding off telling my Mom til a get a surgery date..she will be skeptical...hasn't been more than 130# in her whole life...very intolerant of obese people and such. But I know she will support me, perhaps not til the weight starts coming off...but the comr e around...

  • 1 year later...

I have some great advice for you. I am a daughter myself so I understand.

The most important thing is to hear her out. Here are some points that might help her understand.

-It's only a tool to help me be succesful in the long run

-It is not like gasteric, its less intrusive

-It's safe, reversable, and I can eat normally when I am done

-I rather have a surgery and be down for a week, so that I can be healthy than be overweight and have years of my life taken off because of it

I hope things go well and good luck. Just remember though, even if your daughter doesn't support you--you know what's right for you and you need to do whats right for you.

Dear you.toi help you do not know how but you do not sad story of his daughter. I think your daughter back surgery . good hope of a your's doctor.I also has a daughter has surgery .now it was better then

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