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Today, I am wondering what I have done to myself



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Maybe this should be in Rants and Raves, and not here, but I really needed to vent a bit. I had duodenal switch surgery with gallbladder removal and a liver biopsy on October 24. I am seriously wondering what I've done to myself. Everyday is an adventure in weird and random pains, eating food and then feeling awful when I eat too fast, too much, or the wrong thing, going through a roll of TP a day in wiping my butt after the 8,000 times a day I "poop", going through recipes and wanting to cry because I can't eat ANY OF THEM. The list goes on. I was trying to make it to two weeks before having a pity party, but today was just over the top with being caused physical pain from taking my Vitamins and Calcium, having an hour long chat with my toilet after eating refried Beans, doubling over in pain while trying to organize all this stuff I now have to doctor Protein shakes to make them at least somewhat drinkable, and then coping with feeling bloated and miserable all day. All the while, I'm eating exactly what is on my food plan, but I'm finding it absolutely impossible to eat 4 times a day, drink 3 Protein Shakes, take 4 rounds of Vitamins, and still drink 64 Oz of Water while never being allowed to drink because I just ate. Uuuuugh. Oh, and to add insult to injury, I was up 6/10 of a pound this morning. WHAT HAVE I DONE???

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The Duodenal Switch is the most aggressive of all the weight loss surgeries, so I reckon it'll have the toughest recovery physically...but I imagine you knew that, going in. What you're enduring mentally, though, pretty much everyone goes through in some form or another, I think. My first couple of weeks, I was pretty obsessed with food. I was watching food Network a lot. I don't know why I was torturing myself but it was like my brain was raging against the fact that I had taken away its comfort, entertainment...whatever. It was almost like it was trying to punish me, reminding me of what I'd given up. Eventually I started to think of it that way; that my psyche had become so accustomed to using food in ways other than simply providing fuel, that it was rebelling against the change.

But you know what? It passed. The obsessing about food passed, and each strange new wrinkle that I have to deal with mentally or emotionally has passed, given time and exposure. I just realized over the past couple of days that I no longer feel weird about my portions. I used to be dealing with the feeling that it wasn't enough, every time I put my little portion on a plate. Now it feels normal to me.

You are going to go through ups and downs mentally, but be aware of them. Think about why you're feeling the way you are and ask yourself if it's rational. You know why you had the surgery, you know what you wanted to achieve through it. You knew what you were giving up, and the reasons for it. This is where the rubber hits the road...you've had the surgery, and now it's time to change. And I think most of us know that you're feeling the resistance to change that your "old brain" is putting up, because we've all felt it in some form or another. And the unfortunate thing is, we'll all probably be dealing with that for the rest of our lives...working to counteract those impulses. But you took a big step to get it under control...and that is what you've done. You have taken measures that will allow you to get it under control.

The physical stuff will improve as you heal, a little better every day. The mental stuff will take time and conscious effort to change. But it'll come together, you just have to be patient and diligent. Just do what you can. As for the "doctoring" your Protein shakes, I'm afraid of what that means...but I am hoping it doesn't mean adding stuff you shouldn't be having, because you'll only be causing yourself problems if you do that. If all you can do is drink Protein Shakes and you need to skip meals, then do that - as long as you are getting your Protein every day, and you are getting your Water, you will be fine. Over time, you'll get meals in too...just don't sweat it. One foot in front of the other.

And stay off the scale for a few weeks. People obsess about the scale. It is your enemy, avoid it. I am only weighing once a month, personally.

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Agirlhasnofluff

Omg i have to admit your post scared the sh!t out of me then i read porkchopexpress and that eased my nerves lol some.

However i do have some questions for you since i am going to have the same procedure (maybe) and it seems like not to many people on here have opted for this one. So forgive me if i bug you but when you say 8000 times a day really about how much do you go and is it alot that comes out? Does it have an overly foul oder as i seen some say that have posted about their surgeries. Also does it hurt to go potty after surgery? Sorry not trying to be nasty just seems to be the right place to ask.Why the biopsy on your liver is that part of the procedure? Plus what is your starting weight and bmi mine is 391 bmi 53. Im on a cell phone and cannot see it if you have a ticker. Porkchopexpress i like your new picture you look slimmer already.

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I had a RNY gastric bypass surgery 3 years ago. It took me 6 months before I reached my happy state when all the problems seemed to melt away. This article may be of help to you. It describes my experience with weight loss surgery. It can be quite overwhelming during the beginning. http://www.breadandbutterscience.com/Surgery.pdf

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What you are experiencing is completely normal. It's "buyer's remorse" in the weight loss surgery world, and we all go through it in one form or another. The first year is really the toughest with the physical and emotional changes - you're going through a LOT. You think that life will never feel "normal" again, but it will. You have to treat your body and yourself with kid gloves, and it's a lot of work and can wear on you emotionally.

I'm not sure what your post-care plan is, but one of the best things that I did for myself was regular weekly therapy to deal with all of the massive changes in my life. I really didn't want to go at first, but I found that it was one of the best tools that I had to deal with coping and working through everything. If your insurance doesn't cover it, there are many therapists that work on a sliding scale fee. Even if you can get a once a month appointment could work wonders. If you're going to post-op support groups, this only doubles up on the amount of support you get and you'll be able to rock it!

I'm almost nine years out. I remember having buyers remorse a LOT in the first year. I remember thinking life would never be normal again. I promise you, it will be. Hang in there!

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It will take some time for you body and mind to heal with any WLS procedure you have. 90% of this is head and if you can get that straight once the physical recovery happens you will be well on your way to a whole new life.

Just remember.....this is the short term recovery that has you down. You learn to deal with the other stuff and everyday it will get a little better.

It really will and then your buyers remorse will be gone.

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Agirlhasnofluff

Omg i have to admit your post scared the **** out of me then i read porkchopexpress and that eased my nerves lol some.

However i do have some questions for you since i am going to have the same procedure (maybe) and it seems like not to many people on here have opted for this one. So forgive me if i bug you but when you say 8000 times a day really about how much do you go and is it alot that comes out?

First day home, I must have gone 20 times in a 4 or so hour window. When I accidentally ate Popsicles made with sorbitol, it was like every 15 minutes or less for 6 hours. In the middle of the night, I may go 4 times in a two hour period. What's weird is that it's only a couple of hours a day window that I'll go poop, unless something like sorbitol happens. No, it's not a very large amount. It's a lot of what seems like Water mainly and nothing else. For the record, I did have solid poop yesterday, about 10 days out. None of my poops have hurt. I first pooped in the hospital, and I wasn't expecting it. It just sort of happened when I was on the toilet.

Does it have an overly foul oder as i seen some say that have posted about their surgeries.

Here's the thing, I had super stinky poops before I had surgery. I swear my digestive tract has never been normal. A few of the poops I've had since surgery were definitely not pleasant smelling, but it's usually just the initial one or two in a series of poops that's smelly. I use PooPourri and these incense match stick things to get rid of it. My solid poops have not smelled bad. My gas (I have had very little farting) has not smelled bad, either.

Also does it hurt to go potty after surgery? Sorry not trying to be nasty just seems to be the right place to ask.Why the biopsy on your liver is that part of the procedure?

The biopsy was to check for fatty liver. It's standard procedure for my surgeon. I don't know much beyond that.

Plus what is your starting weight and bmi mine is 391 bmi 53. Im on a cell phone and cannot see it if you have a ticker. Porkchopexpress i like your new picture you look slimmer already.

I started at 245.5, BMI of 42. I'm at 227.8, bmi of 39.3 or so. Hope i answered all your questions.

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Flushable wet wipes. Your bum will thank you. Seriously.

Hope you feel better soon.

Thank you. I don't know why I didn't think of the danged wet wipes before!

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G935A using the BariatricPal App

I had a RNY gastric bypass surgery 3 years ago. It took me 6 months before I reached my happy state when all the problems seemed to melt away. This article may be of help to you. It describes my experience with weight loss surgery. It can be quite overwhelming during the beginning. http://www.breadandbutterscience.com/Surgery.pdf

I look forward to reading this. Thank you!!

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G935A using the BariatricPal App

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What you are experiencing is completely normal. It's "buyer's remorse" in the weight loss surgery world, and we all go through it in one form or another. The first year is really the toughest with the physical and emotional changes - you're going through a LOT. You think that life will never feel "normal" again, but it will. You have to treat your body and yourself with kid gloves, and it's a lot of work and can wear on you emotionally.

I'm not sure what your post-care plan is, but one of the best things that I did for myself was regular weekly therapy to deal with all of the massive changes in my life. I really didn't want to go at first, but I found that it was one of the best tools that I had to deal with coping and working through everything. If your insurance doesn't cover it, there are many therapists that work on a sliding scale fee. Even if you can get a once a month appointment could work wonders. If you're going to post-op support groups, this only doubles up on the amount of support you get and you'll be able to rock it!

I'm almost nine years out. I remember having buyers remorse a LOT in the first year. I remember thinking life would never be normal again. I promise you, it will be. Hang in there!

Why this made me tear up, I don't know, but it did. I appreciate the support. I've been considering finding a therapist that treats food addiction, because Lord knows I have one. Maybe I need to do more than just consider it.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G935A using the BariatricPal App

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What you are experiencing is completely normal. It's "buyer's remorse" in the weight loss surgery world, and we all go through it in one form or another. The first year is really the toughest with the physical and emotional changes - you're going through a LOT. You think that life will never feel "normal" again, but it will. You have to treat your body and yourself with kid gloves, and it's a lot of work and can wear on you emotionally.

I'm not sure what your post-care plan is, but one of the best things that I did for myself was regular weekly therapy to deal with all of the massive changes in my life. I really didn't want to go at first, but I found that it was one of the best tools that I had to deal with coping and working through everything. If your insurance doesn't cover it, there are many therapists that work on a sliding scale fee. Even if you can get a once a month appointment could work wonders. If you're going to post-op support groups, this only doubles up on the amount of support you get and you'll be able to rock it!

I'm almost nine years out. I remember having buyers remorse a LOT in the first year. I remember thinking life would never be normal again. I promise you, it will be. Hang in there!

Why this made me tear up, I don't know, but it did. I appreciate the support. I've been considering finding a therapist that treats food addiction, because Lord knows I have one. Maybe I need to do more than just consider it.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G935A using the BariatricPal App

Taking the step to go to therapy is a big one. It's weird to go sit in a room with someone you don't know and tell them intimate and personal things about yourself, I totally get that. I think everyone does and that's why a lot of people don't go. But honestly, after I got over the initial "weirdness" of it, I looked forward to my appointments. It was a place where I could "purge" everything emotionally and walk away feeling like I knew what I had to do to move forward in a positive way, and I always felt changed for the better.

Just having someone completely objective to talk with that knows how to handle the things you're going through and struggling with -it's huge. I always felt like the emotional side of things was harder than anything else for me, but that was my journey.

In any case, I wish you the very best in whatever you decide. Just know that even though there's struggles, it gets better. It's hard to see when you're in the muck of it, but it does. You're going to be ok. :)

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I can send you the eating plan my surgeons and their DS nutrit. distribute for new DSers. Personally, I wouldn't have touched refried Beans at your stage. Way too much for your new system, IMHO. I'll be happy to email it to you if you PM me your email addy . It has sample menus as well.

Sounds like your trying to do too much. 3 Protein shakes a day! I choked down 1. While most say you should be eating (per day): 30 grams/protein in 30 days, 60 grams/protein in 60 days, etc. I never made that. Even with 1 shake a day I was lucky to get in 50 grams/protein at 6 months out. Your stomach just can't handle it right now. You're barely 2 weeks out. You need to remember you have an infant's stomach. Your old one is gone. It's brand new and my surgeon reminded me I need to treat it as such. It also takes time to learn what you can and can't eat and whether that cramp means you really have to 'go'. (Eventually, though, you'll eat pretty much anything. A quick example: for the first month or so, Breakfast was 1 tsp. of scrambled eggs. Now...3 XL scrambled eggs with cream cheese and/or salami, swiss cheese, bacon, etc. While I don't eat it in 1 sitting, I do eat it.)

I also wasn't taking a ton of Vitamins at your stage. You still have stores of them in your system. Take a look at what I'll send you and see what other programs recommend. Hopefully, it'll make things easier and you won't be living in the bathroom (I know what it's like). ;)

Edited by Postop

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You don't have to do Protein powder as a shake. If the volume of liquid is a problem, start making it like a "pudding" consistency so it takes up less room. Get some of the flavorless GENEPRO Protein that is 30g in a one TBSP size. You can mix it with a ton of things. There ARE ways to get the protein and I strongly recommend getting as much as you possibly can while you're healing, because it speeds recovery immensely. Not to mention helping you retain muscle mass so you can keep burning fat more efficiently.

I can send you the eating plan my surgeons and their DS nutrit. distribute for new DSers. Personally, I wouldn't have touched refried Beans at your stage. Way too much for your new system, IMHO. I'll be happy to email it to you if you PM me your email addy . It has sample menus as well.

Sounds like your trying to do too much. 3 Protein shakes a day! I choked down 1. While most say you should be eating (per day): 30 grams/protein in 30 days, 60 grams/protein in 60 days, etc. I never made that. Even with 1 shake a day I was lucky to get in 50 grams/protein at 6 months out. Your stomach just can't handle it right now. You're barely 2 weeks out. You need to remember you have an infant's stomach. Your old one is gone. It's brand new and my surgeon reminded me I need to treat it as such. It also takes time to learn what you can and can't eat and whether that cramp means you really have to 'go'. (Eventually, though, you'll eat pretty much anything. A quick example: for the first month or so, Breakfast was 1 tsp. of scrambled eggs. Now...3 XL scrambled eggs with cream cheese and/or salami, swiss cheese, bacon, etc. While I don't eat it in 1 sitting, I do eat it.)

I also wasn't taking a ton of Vitamins at your stage. You still have stores of them in your system. Take a look at what I'll send you and see what other programs recommend. Hopefully, it'll make things easier and you won't be living in the bathroom (I know what it's like). ;)

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You are not alone with this. Every single person that has WLS has to deal with this stuff. But...like PorkChopExpress said get GENEPRO and add it to whatever you can get down. Focus on your fluids, it sure doesn't take long to get dehydrated. We all promise it will get better every day you will start to feel normal again. Don't be harsh on yourself it just takes time. I had problems with strictures and it started like 1 month out from my RNY...I had 5 endoscopes with 4 dilations. I finally thought to myself...what in the hell did I do to myself. Only 1 time I felt like that do you know why because everything that you go thru just makes you stronger!!! Hang in there!! You GOT THIS!!!

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Just an update: Things are significantly better. That day must have been my lowest day after surgery. I feel one thousand times better, and I'm pretty much pain free. I was rolling over in my bed last night, and I was thinking how nice it was to roll over and not have anything hurt. Thanks again for the support, y'all! It really was just those first two weeks after surgery that were so rough!

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Good to hear.

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