So I'm scheduled for Nov 9th. The only people I am telling are my husband, daughter and Mom. I am taking only 10 full days off work because I have no paid time at work.

So, when people start to notice and say things to you, what is your response? If they ask outright if you had surgery what do you say?

Is 10 days off work enough? I'm in and out of the car all day long. Thanks,

I told my family first. I waited until I had gone through all the steps and had a surgery date before telling a couple people at work. I have had 3 other surgeries in less than a year (both feet and a new knee) so another surgery with the possibility of being out of work 6 weeks (right after I took a 3 week vacation) was a big deal. I kept it quiet at work although my department knew I was having another surgery until about a week before. I made the 'announcement' in a departmental meeting. I didn't want people to see me losing weight quickly, possibly losing my hair and thinking the worse. I've gotten nothing but positive feedback.

Giggling..... one of the reasons I started telling also. I didn't want people thinking I was a meth or drug addict.

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I didn't want them to think I had cancer

I told very few people at first. And no one wants to hear portion control and exercise so that's exactly what I said til they stopped asking. LOL. They want to hear that you're taking a magic pill or are doing some kind of easy weight loss yoga. After awhile I opened up about it. I just didn't want to hear horror stories and OH NO YOU LOOK FINE when I was fat as hell and unhappy.

I have already told people at work and all of my family know. The people at work have seen me struggle with diet after diet and give up. They are supportive. One is my boss and she needs to know in case I have to miss more work for Dr visits or complications. I'm doing this for me.

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Actually, you do not need to give your employer the diagnosis (unless you want too). If your doctor has you on a lifting restriction of 10 lbs or less for 3 weeks, that what you need to disclose.

I have already told people at work and all of my family know. The people at work have seen me struggle with diet after diet and give up. They are supportive. One is my boss and she needs to know in case I have to miss more work for Dr visits or complications. I'm doing this for me.

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Actually, you do not need to give your employer the diagnosis (unless you want too). If your doctor has you on a lifting restriction of 10 lbs or less for 3 weeks, that what you need to disclose.

True. I didn't need to. But they are happy for me and I don't have to worry about asking for days off. I have my fmla paperwork filled out. I've always been a very open person.

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Very nice that you have their support!

So... the forum is totally okay with @RealScoobyDoo and Imdeb being the same sockpuppet?

@@LipstickLady , thoughts?

Edited December 3, 20169 yr by Fredbear

I'm not being nasty. In general most websites prohibit sockpuppets.

Sockpuppets are generally used by unscrupulous people to make it appear that other people agree with them.

ImDeb, sorry I didn't realize that you have the corner on rudeness . I've been an advance practice nurse a patient advocate and high risk case manager for over 30 years. Amazing how your reinterpretation of information you found on the HIA website fits so perfectly with your agenda.

And what is the deal with you and @realscoobydoo? Weird how one of you posts and the other is there to chime in.

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So... the forum is totally okay with @RealScoobyDoo and Imdeb being the same sockpuppet?

@@LipstickLady , thoughts?

I've got no thoughts. Not my board, not my monkies! @@Alex Brecher is the man in charge.

If people ask I tell them. They always think it's cool. They usually are thinking about it or knows someone who is.

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I told everyone I have daily contact with. The day before my surgery I sent out a mass email to all my co-workers telling them I was having the surgery. I didn't post it on social media only because I tend to not post really personal things. But I'm very honest about it. I started a new job five months after the surgery and I was talking about it the first day I was there. My experience has been phenomenal. Nobody has said one unkind thing to me.

I'm always fascinated by this topic because like "Imighknow", I too am very very private and dont like telling people my business. It stems from growing up and sharing information with people who I thought were friends, only to have it used against me and embarrass me later. I have real trust issues with the 'general public' and have learned the hard way to keep my business to myself. I've only shared this with my husband and the two girls I work with because my schedule affects them directly. They've been very supportive and excited for me. But no one else knows and I'm going to keep it that way. I still don't know what i'm going to say once I start seeing friends/family who will most definitely ask what I've been doing. My mother cannot keep her mouth shut and will tell everyone she knows. I come from a very judgmental family who think they have all the answers to life and know how everyone else should do things. Its exhausting being around them.

My friends are all trying to lose weight as well, but they all like to gossip and share info that they shouldn't - I've had them tell me things about people they should not be telling anyone. So, I'm not sure what I'll be saying to them either. But I cannot confide it any of these folks because I don't want my business shared and I know they cannot keep info to themselves.

I applaud all of you who feel so comfortable in sharing your info so freely. it sounds like its benefitted others and it makes you happy. I think that's great. I wish I had the same experiences, but having been burned too many times in the past, I've learned that I have to keep my information to myself and just let people wonder. I don't like going on Facebook that much because its just an endless stream of people over-sharing and others jumping in and shaming them for their decisions. People like being snarky and bullies. Its safer in the corner. Heh...

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I'm not being nasty. In general most websites prohibit sockpuppets.

Sockpuppets are generally used by unscrupulous people to make it appear that other people agree with them.

I think in this case the poster is just angry and insecure. I grew up in Manhattan so know better than too make eye contact so and regret regret engaging

I noticed today that there are several posters who seem to travel in packs and post their agreements and "likes"

I started out telling on immediate family, but then closer to my surgery I told more people and the girls at work.. everyone has been super supportive and it's nice that I can just be truthful about it.. it was my choice, and I'm happy with it.. good luck

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I was sleeved on November 7th. I was very fourth coming about what I was doing and I regret it the slightest bit. My second day back at work someone came up to me and said "Wow, Cassy I don't think that surgery worked for you! I can't tell a difference." I am a confident women and of course smiled and said "Well. Have you ever been on a diet and witnessed an absolute transformation in a mere 26 days? It's going to take some time. It's a lifestyle change not an instant fix." HOWEVER internally it hurt my feelings very deeply because I don't think anyone has the slightest idea what it takes to commit to a total life style change and how hard I've been working. I guess I was the source of many conversations when I was gone conversations that went something like "Well why can't she just exercise?" All and all. People are rude. Regardless of if you let them in on your secrets or not I have a strong feeling those types are going to be rude anyways- and that's okay! That's on them. I read from a poster recently that an overweight women kept on going to to gym and really stuck to it and when she felt judged or belittled she would repeat to herself "Just wait." Until one day she was the one teaching these folks in a fitness class. This has become my new mantra. At the end of the day this is all about YOU. Regardless of who knows and who doesn't now or later, acknowledge you let yourself feel worthy enough to make a massive change to better your quality of life. The only one that needs to be rooting for you is YOU. I hope your doing well and your body and soul is healing! You deserve it.

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