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Not telling anyone. What do you say?



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Imdeborah- can I ask why you are getting a revision? If it didn't work, what did you start to notice and when did you know that it wasn't working for you?

I was sleeved March 2013. Got down to 142 at 5'5" and stayed there for over 2 years. Then I would gain 5 pounds, the take it off, then gain 10 pounds and take it off, but over the past year my weight has steadily crept back up again to 167. I was drinking iced lattes, but no juices, sodas, not eating sweets. But I have lost pretty much all the appetite suppression I enjoyed for such a long time. And now I'm having issues again with reflux, joint and back pain. I haven't discussed it yet with my surgeon, so I don't know if it will be a sleeve redo or a DS. :(

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Imdeborah- can I ask why you are getting a revision? If it didn't work, what did you start to notice and when did you know that it wasn't working for you?

I was sleeved March 2013. Got down to 142 at 5'5" and stayed there for over 2 years. Then I would gain 5 pounds, the take it off, then gain 10 pounds and take it off, but over the past year my weight has steadily crept back up again to 167. I was drinking iced lattes, but no juices, sodas, not eating sweets. But I have lost pretty much all the appetite suppression I enjoyed for such a long time. And now I'm having issues again with reflux, joint and back pain. I haven't discussed it yet with my surgeon, so I don't know if it will be a sleeve redo or a DS. :(
Don't take this the wrong way, but why not look at your own behavior first before jumping into another surgery?

The appetite suppression was never a permanent feature; it's always been temporary.

"When all is said and done, usually more has been said than done. "

Edited by Fredbear

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I told my family first. I waited until I had gone through all the steps and had a surgery date before telling a couple people at work. I have had 3 other surgeries in less than a year (both feet and a new knee) so another surgery with the possibility of being out of work 6 weeks (right after I took a 3 week vacation) was a big deal. I kept it quiet at work although my department knew I was having another surgery until about a week before. I made the 'announcement' in a departmental meeting. I didn't want people to see me losing weight quickly, possibly losing my hair and thinking the worse. I've gotten nothing but positive feedback.

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Imdeborah- can I ask why you are getting a revision? If it didn't work, what did you start to notice and when did you know that it wasn't working for you?

I was sleeved March 2013. Got down to 142 at 5'5" and stayed there for over 2 years. Then I would gain 5 pounds, the take it off, then gain 10 pounds and take it off, but over the past year my weight has steadily crept back up again to 167. I was drinking iced lattes, but no juices, sodas, not eating sweets. But I have lost pretty much all the appetite suppression I enjoyed for such a long time. And now I'm having issues again with reflux, joint and back pain. I haven't discussed it yet with my surgeon, so I don't know if it will be a sleeve redo or a DS. :(
Wait, what? You're not even CLOSE to being heavy enough for a DS at 167 pounds! And you do realize that there is a certain % of normal 'bounce' weight that happens years out. @@Fredbear is right, the appetite suppression isn't permanent, and neither is the amazing restriction. This surgery isn't necessarily meant to be permanent. You did great getting your weight off and then getting the small regain off a couple of times, so you did well taking advantage of the effects of the surgery. But after those wear off, it's really all on us. I mean, your weight right now is a lot of people's goal weight. I know regain sucks, but I don't feel you need any kind of revision at all. My opinion, of course.

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I told my family with the exception of my brother and sister in law. My mom told everyone in the world, but my dad and stepmom have kept it to themselves.

SIL asked yesterday why it was taking me so long to eat (as the remainder of my family wolfed down 2 plates). My stepmom told her I had to take small bites. SIL replies "but why does it take so long?" SMom then says "if you took tiny bites you'd take a long time to eat too"

SIL is crazy. Other than that, it's just no one else's business. I've had several surgeries for endometriosis, so it was an easy cover.

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I told my husband and 2 friends, even my son doesn't know.

Everyone else I just said I had to have stomach surgery (I had a long history of stomach issues so no one really questioned it). I needed some help here and there from my mom and she would inquire about my diet (typical nosy mother). I just told her that there were stitches in my stomach and I had to be really careful for a while. She is super thin and has always been on me about my weight so she's not so secretly happy that my surgery is causing me to lose some.

I became a total recluse at my highest weight (I gained 40 lbs in 6 months) so luckily a lot of people hadn't seen me at my biggest and haven't even noticed my loss.

I'm a private person and most of my friends know that and don't push it. My husband is the exact same way so he totally understands and hasn't told anyone.

Not their business!

Edited by ella37

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I have already told people at work and all of my family know. The people at work have seen me struggle with diet after diet and give up. They are supportive. One is my boss and she needs to know in case I have to miss more work for Dr visits or complications. I'm doing this for me.

Sent from my SM-G920V using the BariatricPal App

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I didn't say anything ahead of time except to immediate family. When I was essentially at goal (6 months post-op), I started telling people that I had had WLS. Many people want to know more about it because they have considered it.

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<<<Don't take this the wrong way, but why not look at your own behavior first before jumping into another surgery?>>>

Gee, I never thought of that. Thanks for the tip.

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I tell everyone the truth! I am proud of my decision.

Sent from my VS985 4G using the BariatricPal App

The truth? Proud? Are you implying that those who don't share are lying or ashamed?

No. Just simply answering the topic title.... "Not telling anyone. What do you say?"

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I tell everyone the truth! I am proud of my decision.

Sent from my VS985 4G using the BariatricPal App

The truth? Proud? Are you implying that those who don't share are lying or ashamed?

No. Just simply answering the topic title.... "Not telling anyone. What do you say?"

Great! Thank you!

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@@Joy@boman That's exactly what I am telling people. I am having a hiatal hernia repair. I've had several other types of abdominal hernias in my life so this is believable. I haven't gone into details with any one else outside of My Partner/Son and 2 friends close to me. I doubt most people will have the gull to ask me if I had surgery... outside if the hernia. Otherwise that's my story and i'm sticking to it. It's personal for me - and it's about me and the quality of my life. Not anyone else's.

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<<<Don't take this the wrong way, but why not look at your own behavior first before jumping into another surgery?>>>

Gee, I never thought of that. Thanks for the tip.

I'm also curious about this. Any weight loss surgery is going to lose a lot of it's effects years later, that's how people end up regaining. You've done a good job maintaining a lower weight.

What's going to happen in 2 more years when the restriction wears off again? Are you going to keep having it done over and over?

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<<<Don't take this the wrong way, but why not look at your own behavior first before jumping into another surgery?>>>

Gee, I never thought of that. Thanks for the tip.

I'm also curious about this. Any weight loss surgery is going to lose a lot of it's effects years later, that's how people end up regaining. You've done a good job maintaining a lower weight.

What's going to happen in 2 more years when the restriction wears off again? Are you going to keep having it done over and over?

Not to mention, that at 5'5" and 167# she is only in the Overweight category, which for most patients is basically at or very near the doctor's goal.

She'd have to be 4'6" to even be considered Obese at that weight.

No reputable doctor would touch a patient that's already at a reasonable goal weight with a 10' scalpel.

"When all is said and done, usually more has been said than done. "

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Well, the guidelines for bariatric surgery are continuously evolving. There is evidence of the benefit of bariatric surgery for Class 1 Obesity (30+BMI) as well as the benefit for overweight patients with significant comorbidities, of which I have about 10. That, coupled with a rapid weight gain over the past year does actually qualify me for surgery.

My original sleeve was made larger than most because of my severe GERD. Unfortunately the sleeve has made it worse. My surgeon recommended a bypass prior to my sleeve surgery, but I was too scared to do it.

Remember that there is a broad range of what is considered safe medical practice, and there are indeed reputable surgeons who will do bariatric surgery for patients like me.

I support everyone in doing whatever is best for them, including choosing their surgeon and procedure.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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