Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Not telling anyone. What do you say?



Recommended Posts

Imdeborah- can I ask why you are getting a revision? If it didn't work, what did you start to notice and when did you know that it wasn't working for you?

I was sleeved March 2013. Got down to 142 at 5'5" and stayed there for over 2 years. Then I would gain 5 pounds, the take it off, then gain 10 pounds and take it off, but over the past year my weight has steadily crept back up again to 167. I was drinking iced lattes, but no juices, sodas, not eating sweets. But I have lost pretty much all the appetite suppression I enjoyed for such a long time. And now I'm having issues again with reflux, joint and back pain. I haven't discussed it yet with my surgeon, so I don't know if it will be a sleeve redo or a DS. :(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Imdeborah- can I ask why you are getting a revision? If it didn't work, what did you start to notice and when did you know that it wasn't working for you?

I was sleeved March 2013. Got down to 142 at 5'5" and stayed there for over 2 years. Then I would gain 5 pounds, the take it off, then gain 10 pounds and take it off, but over the past year my weight has steadily crept back up again to 167. I was drinking iced lattes, but no juices, sodas, not eating sweets. But I have lost pretty much all the appetite suppression I enjoyed for such a long time. And now I'm having issues again with reflux, joint and back pain. I haven't discussed it yet with my surgeon, so I don't know if it will be a sleeve redo or a DS. :(
Don't take this the wrong way, but why not look at your own behavior first before jumping into another surgery?

The appetite suppression was never a permanent feature; it's always been temporary.

"When all is said and done, usually more has been said than done. "

Edited by Fredbear

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I told my family first. I waited until I had gone through all the steps and had a surgery date before telling a couple people at work. I have had 3 other surgeries in less than a year (both feet and a new knee) so another surgery with the possibility of being out of work 6 weeks (right after I took a 3 week vacation) was a big deal. I kept it quiet at work although my department knew I was having another surgery until about a week before. I made the 'announcement' in a departmental meeting. I didn't want people to see me losing weight quickly, possibly losing my hair and thinking the worse. I've gotten nothing but positive feedback.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Imdeborah- can I ask why you are getting a revision? If it didn't work, what did you start to notice and when did you know that it wasn't working for you?

I was sleeved March 2013. Got down to 142 at 5'5" and stayed there for over 2 years. Then I would gain 5 pounds, the take it off, then gain 10 pounds and take it off, but over the past year my weight has steadily crept back up again to 167. I was drinking iced lattes, but no juices, sodas, not eating sweets. But I have lost pretty much all the appetite suppression I enjoyed for such a long time. And now I'm having issues again with reflux, joint and back pain. I haven't discussed it yet with my surgeon, so I don't know if it will be a sleeve redo or a DS. :(
Wait, what? You're not even CLOSE to being heavy enough for a DS at 167 pounds! And you do realize that there is a certain % of normal 'bounce' weight that happens years out. @@Fredbear is right, the appetite suppression isn't permanent, and neither is the amazing restriction. This surgery isn't necessarily meant to be permanent. You did great getting your weight off and then getting the small regain off a couple of times, so you did well taking advantage of the effects of the surgery. But after those wear off, it's really all on us. I mean, your weight right now is a lot of people's goal weight. I know regain sucks, but I don't feel you need any kind of revision at all. My opinion, of course.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I told my family with the exception of my brother and sister in law. My mom told everyone in the world, but my dad and stepmom have kept it to themselves.

SIL asked yesterday why it was taking me so long to eat (as the remainder of my family wolfed down 2 plates). My stepmom told her I had to take small bites. SIL replies "but why does it take so long?" SMom then says "if you took tiny bites you'd take a long time to eat too"

SIL is crazy. Other than that, it's just no one else's business. I've had several surgeries for endometriosis, so it was an easy cover.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I told my husband and 2 friends, even my son doesn't know.

Everyone else I just said I had to have stomach surgery (I had a long history of stomach issues so no one really questioned it). I needed some help here and there from my mom and she would inquire about my diet (typical nosy mother). I just told her that there were stitches in my stomach and I had to be really careful for a while. She is super thin and has always been on me about my weight so she's not so secretly happy that my surgery is causing me to lose some.

I became a total recluse at my highest weight (I gained 40 lbs in 6 months) so luckily a lot of people hadn't seen me at my biggest and haven't even noticed my loss.

I'm a private person and most of my friends know that and don't push it. My husband is the exact same way so he totally understands and hasn't told anyone.

Not their business!

Edited by ella37

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have already told people at work and all of my family know. The people at work have seen me struggle with diet after diet and give up. They are supportive. One is my boss and she needs to know in case I have to miss more work for Dr visits or complications. I'm doing this for me.

Sent from my SM-G920V using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I didn't say anything ahead of time except to immediate family. When I was essentially at goal (6 months post-op), I started telling people that I had had WLS. Many people want to know more about it because they have considered it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

<<<Don't take this the wrong way, but why not look at your own behavior first before jumping into another surgery?>>>

Gee, I never thought of that. Thanks for the tip.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I tell everyone the truth! I am proud of my decision.

Sent from my VS985 4G using the BariatricPal App

The truth? Proud? Are you implying that those who don't share are lying or ashamed?

No. Just simply answering the topic title.... "Not telling anyone. What do you say?"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I tell everyone the truth! I am proud of my decision.

Sent from my VS985 4G using the BariatricPal App

The truth? Proud? Are you implying that those who don't share are lying or ashamed?

No. Just simply answering the topic title.... "Not telling anyone. What do you say?"

Great! Thank you!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@@Joy@boman That's exactly what I am telling people. I am having a hiatal hernia repair. I've had several other types of abdominal hernias in my life so this is believable. I haven't gone into details with any one else outside of My Partner/Son and 2 friends close to me. I doubt most people will have the gull to ask me if I had surgery... outside if the hernia. Otherwise that's my story and i'm sticking to it. It's personal for me - and it's about me and the quality of my life. Not anyone else's.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

<<<Don't take this the wrong way, but why not look at your own behavior first before jumping into another surgery?>>>

Gee, I never thought of that. Thanks for the tip.

I'm also curious about this. Any weight loss surgery is going to lose a lot of it's effects years later, that's how people end up regaining. You've done a good job maintaining a lower weight.

What's going to happen in 2 more years when the restriction wears off again? Are you going to keep having it done over and over?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

<<<Don't take this the wrong way, but why not look at your own behavior first before jumping into another surgery?>>>

Gee, I never thought of that. Thanks for the tip.

I'm also curious about this. Any weight loss surgery is going to lose a lot of it's effects years later, that's how people end up regaining. You've done a good job maintaining a lower weight.

What's going to happen in 2 more years when the restriction wears off again? Are you going to keep having it done over and over?

Not to mention, that at 5'5" and 167# she is only in the Overweight category, which for most patients is basically at or very near the doctor's goal.

She'd have to be 4'6" to even be considered Obese at that weight.

No reputable doctor would touch a patient that's already at a reasonable goal weight with a 10' scalpel.

"When all is said and done, usually more has been said than done. "

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, the guidelines for bariatric surgery are continuously evolving. There is evidence of the benefit of bariatric surgery for Class 1 Obesity (30+BMI) as well as the benefit for overweight patients with significant comorbidities, of which I have about 10. That, coupled with a rapid weight gain over the past year does actually qualify me for surgery.

My original sleeve was made larger than most because of my severe GERD. Unfortunately the sleeve has made it worse. My surgeon recommended a bypass prior to my sleeve surgery, but I was too scared to do it.

Remember that there is a broad range of what is considered safe medical practice, and there are indeed reputable surgeons who will do bariatric surgery for patients like me.

I support everyone in doing whatever is best for them, including choosing their surgeon and procedure.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • vsg.with.sharon

      Hey everyone!
      I’m new here! Looking for some friends! 🥰
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×