Now that I have my pre-op pics from the doctor I thought I'd start this thread. I have learned so much watching Julie and Puddin I wanted to follow their example and share my journey as well.

I am posting my surgical pre-op photos below but am leaving my before/current photos of my clothed self off this thread for now. Somehow that makes me feel just a little more exposed on this thread. Silly I know since my photos are already on several other threads.

LOVE them. I can't wait.

Ready and waiting....lol

I love novels!!!

OK here goes. I might post this in segments to make it more readable.

Life has been busy for me lately. It seems like its been over a month since I've had an evening to myself with nothing that absolutely had to be done that night. And work hasn't been much better with our fiscal year ending the end of February. I'm still trying to finish it up two weeks into March.

But I suppose considering the topic of the thread the big questions are how is my TT and my lapband in general doing?

Tummy Tuck Recovery. I guess you would say I'm back to 100%. The only thing I could point to that might negate that comment is some very slight discomfort sometimes if I strech a certain way at night but its not uncomfortable enough to make me stop. It feels a bit like your skin after a bad sunburn begins to heal and is only on my left hip.

Also there has been 2 or 3 times my son has head butt me or otherwise bumped into the area just in front of my hips on the incision line and that smarts pretty bad, but just for a moment or two.

I still wear the spanx most days. If I don't wear it like today by evening I'm feeling a bit swollen and am more comfortable if I change into a pair of sweats to run around the house at night.

The scar line. Is looking good. Correction if you saw a photo its very purple but it looks like a nice straight incision and on the right side you can't even feel any scar tissue. On the left side you can feel a slight line of scar tissue inside but its not enough to be a visible bump.

Weight and Lapband restriction.

My weight still hasn't come down from surgery and I'm continuing to hover around the 10 pounds heavier than my pre-tummy tuck weight. I wanted to believe it was all or mostly from the post surgery swelling but 5 months out it is hard to not face the reality that I have actually gained some weight. If I had to hazard a guess I'd say it was probably 75-80% weight gain vs water weight from the swelling.

I don't have any one to blame for this but myself. Yes I had a large unfill pre-surgery and yes 2 fill later I'm still struggling with what feels like no restriction and some extreme hunger issues. But just like pre-band it is still my hand putting the food to my mouth. Not to mention the poor food choices and lack of anything that can really be called exercise.

Exercise - Again no one to blame but myself. OK I tore my rotator cuff sometime last fall before my TT and didn't have the diagnose confirmed until a few weeks ago. But as anyone who has ever watched Biggest Loser there is always something you can do to exercise. And despite being torn it hasn't been hurting me for the last several weeks.

I keep giving myself excuses like, I will join a gym after I know whether I'm going to have to be out of commission with shoulder surgery or after I get the fiscal year finished at work or after I get the money from my tax return to afford a gym, or, or, or. Again the bottom line is it's my bottom sitting on this computer chair or in front of the TV instead of getting out there and doing something to burn a few more calories.

I think my biggest problem is really that I've gotten comfortable with the way things are right now. I like the way my body looks for the most part and I don't really feel the strong urge to try to fit into any smaller clothes. I only wish the scale would show I was 10 or at least 5 pounds lighter than pre-TT seeing how the doc claims to have removed over 10 pounds of skin & fat. But it is hard to find the motivation to make that scale move just for the sake of seeing a lower number.

I've tried being open and honest about the set back on the scales here on LBT. I've tried joining exercise and carb challenges. And setting small goals for myself but none of it has helped get me refocused. I'm afraid until I decide I want to lose the weight for a better reason than that I'm just not going to get anywhere on that front. I just haven't decided yet if I can be comfortable with that.

Diane,

Don't be so hard on yourself. You have gone through a lot physically and mentally and you are done except for a few pounds. That must be a weird feeling. You sound tired. Rest up, spring is coming and that 10 lbs will be gone before you know it.

Diane: Thanks for the update. Life does have a way of taking over and being thin isn't everything. I think it's best to just feel in control of your life and happy with your decisions. I know that for me, not putting myself first was the biggest contributing factor to my obseity. Hopefully, I've learned to do that. I think I'm happier. Yes I enjoy the compliments, but more importantly, I feel better about myself because I have more respect for myself. Does that make sense? My self-image is stronger. I feel more in control of myself. Things aren't just happening to me. I'm making them happen. If for no other reason, exercise has added to that feeling of accomplishment and control. For me, it's no longer about the weight. Of course, I would like to lose more weight, but it's more about being healthy and feeling the power of making good choices. Anyway, Diane, you're doing great. You'll tweak whatever you need to. Just take a moment to let all you've accomplished sink in!

Ghost - you have been a huge inspiration to me :tongue:

We are the same age and almost the same height (I'm a little shorter). I've looked at your before pictures and I swear I am seeing myself so we even carry our weight the same!!!!

We all have to find our stopping point. Find our happy place (or weight :thumbup:) If you are content, then Thank God and be happy and blessed! I fear that this whole process does become a bit of an obsession.

I'm getting close to my happy weight, I think. If I could have a TT right now, I would be content to stay where I'm at. I don't have illusions of being super slim; I'm curvy and I like it that way - I'm still a DD on top so being super small would throw me way off balance. :tt2:

I think your progress and results have been simply amazing!!

{{HUGS}}

wombat

Ghost if you are happy with you, then don't worry about those few extra pounds! I think it's all about being happy with yourself! I know the last pix we saw you looked awesome! :tongue:

Thanks for the update Diane. Your honesty is a big help. We all experienced ups, downs, and plateaus. Hearing again that it is "normal" is comforting.

You've had so MANY changes over the last couple of years, it's perfectly understandable that you would like to stay still and nest for a time. There is NO shame in that. What's really great is that you can see what behaviors you need to change when (or if) you DO want to move forward. You'll do great, whatever you decide.

Thanks for sharing.

Diane

Wasn't it you that told me it was just a number and ultimately it was how I felt?? I think if you are happy that is ALL that matters. You have transformed your body and your life. Be happy! You look great!

Yes, but as they say "Do as I tell you not as I do". I've always been a numbers person and despite feeling comfortable with how I currently look and ambivalent about the effort it is going to take to make that scale start moving again, it is driving me absolutely batty that I'm theoretically up 10-20 pounds post surgery. Though obviously not batty enough to actually do anything about it or I wouldn't have ate the top off 3 slices of pizza for lunch today or the McD's ice cream cone yesterday.