Post op regrets topics - not popular

[GinaCampbell 434]

You didn't rattle my cage. I expressed yet another opinion. Your life is your own, and I certainly had no intent to label you. My words were based on yours, however incorrectly I interpreted your words. I still wish you the best, just as I did before.

That's fine and thank you, but saying things like " even if I don't wish the best for myself" is really unhelpful.

Your words about me being "miserable", "pessimistic", etc were not opinions about my disliking my new stomach, those were assumptions about my frame of mind.

I just don't like it.

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[GinaCampbell 434]

I agree that absolutes and generalizations like: never, always, all, everyone, only, etc., can be dangerous, especially for self-talk.

I am not negative, not in my outlook nor in my inner mind.

I simply don't like the outcome of an ill informed decision that I made.

I am simply trying to get across that my opinion is not because I am only 3 months post op.

This isn't about complications. Or healing.

I just don't like my new stomach and how I have to live now because of it.

The concept is really simple and I am amazed that people want to make huge excuses about why I feel the way I feel!

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[justhere4theshow 462]

My apologies. I had no intention of crossing over from opinion to assumptions, but I guess I did.

[Christinamo7 4,041]

You didn't rattle my cage. I expressed yet another opinion. Your life is your own, and I certainly had no intent to label you. My words were based on yours, however incorrectly I interpreted your words. I still wish you the best, just as I did before.

That's fine and thank you, but saying things like " even if I don't wish the best for myself" is really unhelpful.

Your words about me being "miserable", "pessimistic", etc were not opinions about my disliking my new stomach, those were assumptions about my frame of mind.

I just don't like it.

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you might not like it, but I am sorry to say you do come across as miserable and pessamistic - which can be self fulfilling - so it is good that you correct that assumption so that current and future readers will better understand.

[GinaCampbell 434]

You didn't rattle my cage. I expressed yet another opinion. Your life is your own, and I certainly had no intent to label you. My words were based on yours, however incorrectly I interpreted your words. I still wish you the best, just as I did before.

That's fine and thank you, but saying things like " even if I don't wish the best for myself" is really unhelpful.

Your words about me being "miserable", "pessimistic", etc were not opinions about my disliking my new stomach, those were assumptions about my frame of mind.

I just don't like it.

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you might not like it, but I am sorry to say you do come across as miserable and pessamistic - which can be self fulfilling - so it is good that you correct that assumption so that current and future readers will better understand.

That's because no one is actually considering this subject without emotion.

I may be the only person on here that simply dislikes their new situation (all my realtime bariatric friend regret their surgeries too).

People find this opinion hard to accept. Pre op people are desperate to get their surgeries and most other people are quite happy to lose weight with this surgery.

In telling my story and asking my questions, I may have come across as miserable because I was in alot of pain, sick as a dog and starving to death.

I nearly died. My family was distraught.

But there is a big difference in that and the context that post was made.

This mistake does not define me. It confines me, restricts me, changes my daily life and health but no, I am not those labels.

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[More than this 116]

Gina, people just want to give you hope. Perhaps we are all coming off wrong. lets hope things get better for you & you can have a better life than you do right now...to be able to stop losing weight at the rate you are...to be able to go out without having to worry about leakage....to feel healthier than you do. I am sorry you feel attacked. I know I felt the same way when I mentioned a book I had read that I thought may be interesting, lol.....it was like woah.....I was just saying it was interesting, but people got angry....so I got angry & thought I wasn't going to post anymore.....so I can understand....words sometimes don't come off the way we mean them or.....we can't see past our own prejudices. I think many people get to the point where we get rattled when we hear can't, won't, etc.....because Gina, we all believe in hope & without it, what's the point? Hope keeps us all going & that's what we all try to get out of situations like this, & to offer. We are just trying to offer you some hope, one human to another. I guess that's not what you wanted & I apologize for my earlier posting, where I thought I was giving you hope & support......I am sure everyone else was trying to give you this too.......I guess all you wanted was to open our eyes to the dangers, & you have done that. Thank you Gina.

[ocgirl15 667]

I believe all opinions are welcome here and people considering surgery should be informed about possible complications. People researching WLS should also be informed that not everyone adjusts well to post bariatric life, and yes some regret it. Thank you for your post. I am truly sorry you are going through this. You may never stop regretting it but I hope find a new normal that you can live with. I don't think anyone should have to live with fecal incontenance. I am in the USA and my bariatric team would have been all over this. Being a small rural hospital... I would been referred to Johns Hopkins or another world class top hospital after a short time. I guess what I am asking is whether You have faith in your medical team? Have you consulted with another bariatric team or

gastroenterologist. It is hard to heal and create a new normal when you as sick as you are. I hope your health improves soon so can make the best of this regretful situation.

[GinaCampbell 434]

I believe all opinions are welcome here and people considering surgery should be informed about possible complications. People researching WLS should also be informed that not everyone adjusts well to post bariatric life, and yes some regret it. Thank you for your post. I am truly sorry you are going through this. You may never stop regretting it but I hope find a new normal that you can live with. I don't think anyone should have to live with fecal incontenance. I am in the USA and my bariatric team would have been all over this. Being a small rural hospital... I would been referred to Johns Hopkins or another world class top hospital after a short time. I guess what I am asking is whether You have faith in your medical team? Have you consulted with another bariatric team or

gastroenterologist. It is hard to heal and create a new normal when you as sick as you are. I hope your health improves soon so can make the best of this regretful situation.

I am American and have lived in the UK since 1985. When I first came here, I was shocked at the difference in the healthcare between here and the States, The Netherlands and even South Africa.

Things are different here. I won't berate the details because I would surely offend someone.

No, I lost faith in my bariatric team just prior to surgery but I put mistakes down to their being busy. And it got much, much worse. Now, I rely on my own research, my GP etc. I will no longer jump through the system's hoops to satisfy their statistics. I am vocal about their shortcomings hoping that they will make changes.

I know that in the States that I would be receiving better care. But I have to accept what I have.

Also, I am a devout Christian. I have a deep and abiding faith that helps me know that no matter what, I am not alone. And that whatever happens, I will be okay.

You are right. I am developing a new normal. I can't get Protein in (I literally have had nothing but maybe a couple of eggs in homemade egg drop soup) and have not had any to speak of for ten weeks.

This is a problem that I will have to solve.

I am going to ask to see a gastroenterologist as soon as someone contacts me.

Everyone here seems to think that I am lying here lamenting my mistake and wailing woe is me.

This is not the case. I am moving house so very busy packing, cleaning etc. I am living my life. Albeit with incontinence. I don't really bother with food much. I eat Soups, taste things etc, but I get my fluids in and then forget it.

I know that I need healthcare. I wish they would concentrate on those of us who are sick and stop doing new surgeries. We deserve it.

But life goes on. I don't sleep much and I am in some pain, but my life other than this is good.

Thank you for your kindness.

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[GinaCampbell 434]

Gina, people just want to give you hope. Perhaps we are all coming off wrong. lets hope things get better for you & you can have a better life than you do right now...to be able to stop losing weight at the rate you are...to be able to go out without having to worry about leakage....to feel healthier than you do. I am sorry you feel attacked. I know I felt the same way when I mentioned a book I had read that I thought may be interesting, lol.....it was like woah.....I was just saying it was interesting, but people got angry....so I got angry & thought I wasn't going to post anymore.....so I can understand....words sometimes don't come off the way we mean them or.....we can't see past our own prejudices. I think many people get to the point where we get rattled when we hear can't, won't, etc.....because Gina, we all believe in hope & without it, what's the point? Hope keeps us all going & that's what we all try to get out of situations like this, & to offer. We are just trying to offer you some hope, one human to another. I guess that's not what you wanted & I apologize for my earlier posting, where I thought I was giving you hope & support......I am sure everyone else was trying to give you this too.......I guess all you wanted was to open our eyes to the dangers, & you have done that. Thank you Gina.

I do appreciate your thoughts but you are really mistaken about how you think I feel.

You are using words like "feeling attacked", "angry", "hopeless".

As a devout Christian, I am never without hope. My team may have lost hope and be out of their depth, but I am not hopeless, nor do I feel attacked or angry.

People here can say anything they want.

I welcome that. But if they are wrong about me, I will correct them.

I have no worry about leakage. They checked that (well they said they did).

My mental and emotional state is fine.

I know that people here don't want to hear that I refuse to make nice about my mistake. I do also wish that I could have a better quality of health.

Moving house when you are ten weeks out, with an abdominal abscess while constantly pooping yourself, is no joke. But it is very embarrassing.

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[daniotra 298]

Gina, your story shows just how important pre-op education is. Folks need to have a full understanding of the issues that they may run into. This surgery isn't right for everyone. You noted in another thread that you and your friends were not given a complete picture of the risks. That definitely wasn't fair to you.

It took me years to decide that the likely benefits outweighed the likely risks. Having surgery was the right choice for me. I benefited from hearing other's stories of success, failure, and complication.

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[sleevenv 483]

You're right. None of us know you. However, what you write makes you sound miserable, negative, uninformed and crying out for attention. Not generally what I read from devout Christian women. I pray one day you can read your own posts and cringe.

[GinaCampbell 434]

You're right. None of us know you. However, what you write makes you sound miserable, negative, uninformed and crying out for attention. Not generally what I read from devout Christian women. I pray one day you can read your own posts and cringe.

Oh dear! And I am the "negative attention seeker".

*looking for the intelligent, informative input in this post.... nope, nevermind!

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[sleevenv 483]

You're right. None of us know you. However, what you write makes you sound miserable, negative, uninformed and crying out for attention. Not generally what I read from devout Christian women. I pray one day you can read your own posts and cringe.

Oh dear! And I am the "negative attention seeker".

*looking for the intelligent, informative input in this post.... nope, nevermind!

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[GinaCampbell 434]

As I said before, something about my not liking my new stomach really brings out the personal insults from people.

I don't go through my backposts and edit or delete them the way some people do here. I am honest and forthright.

I will leave my saddest, most frightened posts here for all to read.

I don't care what anyone thinks of me personally. I certainly won't take any notice of mudslinging. Nor will I take too much notice of insults from pre op folk.

You have no idea yet.

If you are about to comment here on this thread, ask yourself what your objective is?

I am going to do it again, here we go, watch closely now... I will never (ooo the miserable, negative, never word!) cringe at my posts.

I own them. Not sure how much more informed I could be after over two years of research and actually having surgery nearly three months ago.

As long as I help one person simply look harder, research longer, talk to their surgeon more, and really examine their relationship with food prior to surgery, then I am happy.

I think alot of what is bothering some folk is that I am almost at perfection weight ten weeks out. With no effort and being bold enough to say that I would rather be the way I was.

So go for it, let it all out, I can definitely take it. And of course, I need a good laugh to cheer up my "negative, miserable" life!

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[sleevenv 483]

Exactly. Your not looking for input, just attention. Shut up, stop whining and get over yourself. You'll be fat and happy again in no time. Just read all the other whining posts. Some of us accept responsibility for our decisions without acting like victims. If you were so well informed and did your research, how are you so clueless? You need help.