Post op regrets topics - not popular

[ella37 455]

Lol you would think so right? It has been amusing at the amount of people telling me to "get off this site". Read this whole thread if you want to see the idiotic insults and bullying that I have received.

Water off a duck's back though!

I have filled in my full profile (unlike others), have never edited nor deleted a post, and always made it clear that I am ten weeks post op which is nearly three months, have had complications etc.

Pre op people can't be more objective than me because they are pre op. That's the point.

Being objective won't alter the facts. That this is a permanent surgery removing 85% of a major organ. Or that it is major abdominal surgery. Or that you might end up with more medical problems than when you started or that you only are projected to lose 65% of your excess weight.

Everytime someone takes the time to shout "get off this site!", it gives me a platform to provide information.

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.

I simply meant that I was alarmed by your initial post and after reading your full story your regrets made more sense to me. I don't think most of these posts on this thread were insulting, in fact I think they were very kind until they got snarky replies.

Well, you seem to be enjoying your limelight so I'll budge along now and you can continue with the others.

Onward and upward.

[GinaCampbell 434]

Lol you would think so right? It has been amusing at the amount of people telling me to "get off this site". Read this whole thread if you want to see the idiotic insults and bullying that I have received.

Water off a duck's back though!

I have filled in my full profile (unlike others), have never edited nor deleted a post, and always made it clear that I am ten weeks post op which is nearly three months, have had complications etc.

Pre op people can't be more objective than me because they are pre op. That's the point.

Being objective won't alter the facts. That this is a permanent surgery removing 85% of a major organ. Or that it is major abdominal surgery. Or that you might end up with more medical problems than when you started or that you only are projected to lose 65% of your excess weight.

Everytime someone takes the time to shout "get off this site!", it gives me a platform to provide information.

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.

I simply meant that I was alarmed by your initial post and after reading your full story your regrets made more sense to me. I don't think most of these posts on this thread were insulting, in fact I think they were very kind until they got snarky replies.

Well, you seem to be enjoying your limelight so I'll budge along now and you can continue with the others.

Onward and upward.

One person's calm, reasonable reply is another person's "snarky". We all come from dozens of countries all over the globe and all have different ways of using language. But instead of simply skipping this thread, people are following me to engage and not for discussing the topic, but to get personal. It's a waste of time because I simply laugh and pity them.

It does however highlight that if you don't say what people want to hear, people get personal.

Of course there have been attempts at insults and people literally telling me to "get off BP"! Two people have even called my religion into question! Name calling shows that the poster simply cannot argue with my logic so have to stoop to name calling.

Was your last post to discuss people who regret their surgery?

Or to take a pot shot at me?

And as I have said, if I have to be flamed on here every day to help one person, I will do.

It's all about education. If my "limelight" as you call it, shines a light to one person here in the UK to become more informed, happy to do it!

I am but one person (and my real time friends) doing my best, but everytime someone comes here to insult me, it shines my "limelight" on the gaps in our NHS Bariatric supplied information.

So my thanks to all contributors!

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[LipstickLady 25,682]

And it's the vets that are the problem....

Vets are not the problem. The problem seems to be that outspoken, strong individuals, who stand up for themselves, are hassled in an attempt to change their behaviour and their comments.

If you read many of the posts on this thread, a thread which makes the topic clear, I am being personally insulted. No content about VSG or bariatric surgery. Blatant personal insults, some of them trying to bully me off this website.

Simply for having a different opinion than themselves.

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The general consensus on this board seems to relate all these traits to vets only. Mine was just a random observation...

[PixTheCakeDestroyer 31]

BUT what you don't seem to understand as you go on and on about your regret is that what you are feeling now, experiencing NOW at 9 weeks, isn't what you will experience at 5 years.

There are people who are reading this who are on the fence about saving their life, and may not do it because they think that what you are saying is true, and it IS NOT.

All the things you "regret" will freaking change before you hit year one, all of them will have a work around for you when you are fully healed.

You seem bound and determined to not make it work, and that's fine its your life, but seriously, live it a little before you spend so much energy regretting it.

Good grief.

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[GinaCampbell 434]

And it's the vets that are the problem....

Vets are not the problem. The problem seems to be that outspoken, strong individuals, who stand up for themselves, are hassled in an attempt to change their behaviour and their comments.

If you read many of the posts on this thread, a thread which makes the topic clear, I am being personally insulted. No content about VSG or bariatric surgery. Blatant personal insults, some of them trying to bully me off this website.

Simply for having a different opinion than themselves.

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The general consensus on this board seems to relate all these traits to vets only. Mine was just a random observation...

No, certainly not vets only!

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[GinaCampbell 434]

BUT what you don't seem to understand as you go on and on about your regret is that what you are feeling now, experiencing NOW at 9 weeks, isn't what you will experience at 5 years.

There are people who are reading this who are on the fence about saving their life, and may not do it because they think that what you are saying is true, and it IS NOT.

All the things you "regret" will freaking change before you hit year one, all of them will have a work around for you when you are fully healed.

You seem bound and determined to not make it work, and that's fine its your life, but seriously, live it a little before you spend so much energy regretting it.

Good grief.

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You are just plain wrong. You can't tell me that my experience isn't correct.

You can't say that how I feel about electively cutting out my stomach, is not how I feel. It is true.

And my posting on a website won't stop anyone "saving their life".

As for "working", define it? Have I lost all my weight? Is that working? I have very little left to lose at ten weeks plus now post op!

What happens when I want the weightloss to stop?

Do you know anything about our bariatric program here?

How many seminars here cover food aversion, food revulsion and give out the statistics of mortality due to malnutrition following VSG?

Will my stomach grow back magically at year five?

No, it is permanent.

Why don't you want me to warn people about how they "might" feel post op? Why does that bother you?

I am doing what I see fit, if you don't like it, hit unsubscribe and move along to a "we all love our sleeve" thread.

I live it everyday, just like all post op people do!

Thank you for contributing and giving me another chance to highlight this hardly discussed topic!

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[PixTheCakeDestroyer 31]

I'm not trying to shut you up, I'm trying to point out that while your surgery is permanent the restrictions you have and feel are not.

Obviously the programs you have around you are insufficient because I was keenly aware that the first six months would be filled with restrictions that I wouldn't necessarily be facing for the rest of time.

Yes, your feelings are yours, but what I'm trying to tell you is that all the things you are saying you regret will become things you shouldn't do, not that you CAN'T do.

At five years out I can drink and eat, I can chug Water, I can eat a Quarter Pounder from McDs while driving and finish it in the time it takes to drive from the window to the street.

I shouldn't do those things but I CAN and most likely after the original healing period and what some like to call the "honeymoon" period you will be able to too.

Working would be a healthy, happy maintained weight, and if you are going to go back to doing all the things you miss as based on this post, you won't achieve that.

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[LipstickLady 25,682]

@@GinaCampbell

I am not and have not taken any "pot shots" at you here nor will I. My questions are out of genuine curiousity.

Your BMI was approximately 48 (calculating 266 lbs at 5.2) when you started this (if I recall correctly) yet you consider yourself "lower BMI". What is your criteria for a high BMI?

Also, I believe you said ALL your friends who had this procedure regret it? At first I thought you said 4, but a later post says 9. Were you the first to go? If not, why did you go through with it?

You said they didn't tell you several basics about WLS (i.e. Not drinking while you eat, food aversion, etc.) yet you did two years of personal research and seminars? Did you visit forums like this one? The topics you were unaware of are discussed ad nauseum on most WLS forums.

You are unhappy with your new dietary restrictions among other things. What changes did you expect would happen when most of your stomach was removed? I'm seriously puzzled at what you thought would be different. (Aside, of course, from your unusually rare complications.)

You are seemingly very intelligent. I am seriously puzzled about some of your regrets as they seem like logical, often discussed, results of WLS. What were your expectations?

Best!

[gina171 626]

I have read @@GinaCampbell on other threads and she is often supportive, kind, and helpful on those threads. I think this is just one topic where that cannot happen. But there are 2 things to consider here...

First, that statistics can get you. Even in a situation where 90% of the people are happy in the end, some will not be, sometimes through no fault of their own OR the procedure. For example, every once in a while you hear about a tragic fiery exploding car accident where the people wearing their seat belts died, but the person who wore no seat belt got thrown free of the car and survived. Does that mean no one should wear seat belts ever? Of course not. Or in the world of public health, where a very small number of children who receive a vaccination could possibly die as a result of a unforeseen complication ..... That is absolutely tragic to Those children's families, awful, terrible, life changing for those poor families. True. But what about all those children who as a result of the vaccination never get measles, pertussis, etc and survive to adulthood.....you never know exactly which ones would have had a fatal interaction with the disease had they NOT been vaccinated. But many more are saved by that vaccination, children are far less likely to die of vaccine complications than they are to die of the actual disease, so (most people) vaccinate their children. Is someone going to have a complication? Tragically yes, but the numbers are smaller than the number of children who would die from the disease had they NOT been vaccinated.

Some people who have WLS surgery will have bad outcomes. Many more will have their health somewhat improved by WLS, some will find it life changing in a positive way. A few people will possibly have their life SAVED as a result of the surgery. That's the way it works out, and you don't know when you sign up for the surgery if you will have a life altering complication OR if you would have been someone who beat the odds and survived happily and healthily to age 80 as a morbidly obese person WITHOUT the surgery. Or maybe you have the surgery, and you have complications but...... maybe you also never have the fatal heart attack your obesity would have led you to in 5 years had you NOT had surgery. YOU JUST DON'T KNOW. We can't know. We learn, we read, we see the odds, and we decide if we are willing to roll the dice. No one is forced into this. If you do your research, the horror stories are out there.

Second, I know the OP is an American who has been living in the UK for over 30 years....that's a long time. As someone who has been married to a British man for 25 years and dealt with his parents, you cannot underestimate the cultural difference between the UK and the US. My husband moved here when he was 3, so for all intents and purposes he is American except for the passport, and is a glass-half-full person like me. But my inlaws--and I don't think they are typical but-- oh dear lord. They HATE the American attitudes of glass half full, don't complain unless you are willing to make it better, you set your own world view, focus on the positive and change the negative....they literally make fun of my husband and I for how we view and tackle life. But we are happy, and they are perpetually disappointed. It's like a pair dark goggles they choose to wear. For them, I chalk it up to growing up in London during WW2, very difficult and traumatic.

But then I think of my relatives who survived Hitler's camps who came to this country and built happy, strong, joyful lives focused on the good in the world. Hmmm.

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Edited August 10, 2016 by gina171

[GinaCampbell 434]

I'm not trying to shut you up, I'm trying to point out that while your surgery is permanent the restrictions you have and feel are not.

Obviously the programs you have around you are insufficient because I was keenly aware that the first six months would be filled with restrictions that I wouldn't necessarily be facing for the rest of time.

Yes, your feelings are yours, but what I'm trying to tell you is that all the things you are saying you regret will become things you shouldn't do, not that you CAN'T do.

At five years out I can drink and eat, I can chug Water, I can eat a Quarter Pounder from McDs while driving and finish it in the time it takes to drive from the window to the street.

I shouldn't do those things but I CAN and most likely after the original healing period and what some like to call the "honeymoon" period you will be able to too.

Working would be a healthy, happy maintained weight, and if you are going to go back to doing all the things you miss as based on this post, you won't achieve that.

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Because we are not given medications that could save gallbladder removal during a rapid weightloss, I am now facing yet another permanent surgery that will have an effect on my pre existing bowel condition. Fact from surgeon.

There is no guarantee that the impact this surgery has had on my pre existing bowel condition, constant diarrhea, incontinence etc, will ever change. Fact from surgeon.

This constant diarrhea may cause me to need future surgery on my bowel due to constant inflammation. Fact from surgeon.

There is no guarantee that my pre existing GERD (which my bariatric team said would be "cured" by this surgery) will get any better in five years time.

My new lactose intolerance may now be permanent. Fact from surgeon.

My inability to tolerate Protein, meat, eggs etc may also be permanent according to my surgeon.

Not everyone goes back to eating whatever they want again and that is an irresponsible statement.

And that is what I am warning people about!

You can't say that in five years time I can eat normally just in small portions.

If you are eating McDonalds, (something I never did), then it is you that is not achieving, not me.

I do miss salads, and dairy and I do miss being able to eat Protein, I do miss eating and drinking at the same time, I don't like feeling weak or my hair dropping out. I don't like being incontinent. I don't want to have my gallbladder removed.

If you are so confident that all these issues will disappear in three months time, then I hope that you are right!

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[GinaCampbell 434]

@@GinaCampbell

I am not and have not taken any "pot shots" at you here nor will I. My questions are out of genuine curiousity.

Your BMI was approximately 48 (calculating 266 lbs at 5.2) when you started this (if I recall correctly) yet you consider yourself "lower BMI". What is your criteria for a high BMI?

Also, I believe you said ALL your friends who had this procedure regret it? At first I thought you said 4, but a later post says 9. Were you the first to go? If not, why did you go through with it?

You said they didn't tell you several basics about WLS (i.e. Not drinking while you eat, food aversion, etc.) yet you did two years of personal research and seminars? Did you visit forums like this one? The topics you were unaware of are discussed ad nauseum on most WLS forums.

You are unhappy with your new dietary restrictions among other things. What changes did you expect would happen when most of your stomach was removed? I'm seriously puzzled at what you thought would be different. (Aside, of course, from your unusually rare complications.)

You are seemingly very intelligent. I am seriously puzzled about some of your regrets as they seem like logical, often discussed, results of WLS. What were your expectations?

Best!

I know you wouldn't stoop to low blows like name calling. You don't have to. You read and pay attention and treat me like a fellow human being, unlike some.

I had watched a neighbour go through her bypass first, that's one. She went through our system. I knew that she regretted her bypass but only found out, post op, about her diarrhea (three years now) issues, non ability to eat Protein issues and her general distress at how ill informed she was via our system. She feels as I do and wishes she had not done it, especially as her hair fell out and did not really grow back. She is extremely depressed especially as this surgery added medical problems and had no positive impact on her diabetes.

Along the way, in seminars, I met fellow system users. I made friends who had friends in the system. We then all had our surgeries close together and because we are constantly either inpatient now, in clinics and/or grapevining information, help etc, I know of so many more people in our position.

The people that went before us, except for my neighbour, either couldn't warn us as they were inpatient in HDU or felt like they "didn't want to put us off". Very British.

Now that we all know each other, keep in touch etc, support each other, we know how each other feel.

As for the BMI, on the day of surgery, I was told that I was borderline pass for surgery so yes, I consider myself on the lower side and should have simply continued my 800 cal diet as prescribed for another few weeks.

I was definitely told not to eat and drink together and we have to start that several weeks pre op. I don't like it though but had no idea how much that I would dislike it.

No, I was never told about food aversion, food revulsion pre op. I did not research it as I had never heard of it. Which is why I post regularly.

I was told that within six weeks, I would be eating normally just in small portions. I was not told that my surgeon might make my remaining stomach smaller than 200 mls, which he did.

My complications are not "unusually rare", certainly not in this system.

I expected to have a reduced capacity in food ingestion.

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[Babbs 14,680]

@@GinaCampbell

After reading your last post, I have come to the conclusion that you were WOEFULLY unprepared for this surgery. I did about 2 MONTHS of research, and knew that every thing you listed just aren't correct.

For instance, it's common knowledge that people with GERD run the risk of it getting worse with the sleeve. The bypass is usually the cure as a rule, not the sleeve. I knew it, had it anyway. Yes, I suffer with severe GERD, but I take the good with the bad, you know? Am I going to go around moping about it the rest of my life, or make the best of it? I choose the latter, because life is just too damn short.

It's also common knowledge that you run the risk of having gall bladder problems after bariatric surgery. I can count dozens of people on this site and in real life who had theirs taken out post bariatric surgery. There's many threads about it. You're not an anomaly. I DO agree that I think doctors should address the issue better by just removing them during surgery to prevent future problems.

Diarrhea is VERY common early out. I had it for months straight. I would question any doctor who said that having a bariatric procedure would resolve the issue??

And yes, there will be a time when you can eat pretty much whatever you want if you choose. That was the point of the McDonald's story, which you missed entirely. If that wasn't the case, then how do people gain all their weight back? It's certainly from enjoying too much of the foods they shouldn't be eating, correct?

For someone who has stated a blatant mistrust for the NHS many times, you sure weren't willing to practice any of your own due diligence and just take these surgeons word for it.

It's quite baffling, actually.

I honestly wish you nothing but the best, and hope you can come to peace with the physical and emotional issues you're having.

[GinaCampbell 434]

I have read @@GinaCampbell on other threads and she is often supportive, kind, and helpful on those threads. I think this is just one topic where that cannot happen. But there are 2 things to consider here...

First, that statistics can get you. Even in a situation where 90% of the people are happy in the end, some will not be, sometimes through no fault of their own OR the procedure. For example, every once in a while you hear about a tragic fiery exploding car accident where the people wearing their seat belts died, but the person who wore no seat belt got thrown free of the car and survived. Does that mean no one should wear seat belts ever? Of course not. Or in the world of public health, where a very small number of children who receive a vaccination could possibly die as a result of a unforeseen complication ..... That is absolutely tragic to Those children's families, awful, terrible, life changing for those poor families. True. But what about all those children who as a result of the vaccination never get measles, pertussis, etc and survive to adulthood.....you never know exactly which ones would have had a fatal interaction with the disease had they NOT been vaccinated. But many more are saved by that vaccination, children are far less likely to die of vaccine complications than they are to die of the actual disease, so (most people) vaccinate their children. Is someone going to have a complication? Tragically yes, but the numbers are smaller than the number of children who would die from the disease had they NOT been vaccinated.

Some people who have WLS surgery will have bad outcomes. Many more will have their health somewhat improved by WLS, some will find it life changing in a positive way. A few people will possibly have their life SAVED as a result of the surgery. That's the way it works out, and you don't know when you sign up for the surgery if you will have a life altering complication OR if you would have been someone who beat the odds and survived happily and healthily to age 80 as a morbidly obese person WITHOUT the surgery. Or maybe you have the surgery, and you have complications but...... maybe you also never have the fatal heart attack your obesity would have led you to in 5 years had you NOT had surgery. YOU JUST DON'T KNOW. We can't know. We learn, we read, we see the odds, and we decide if we are willing to roll the dice. No one is forced into this. If you do your research, the horror stories are out there.

Second, I know the OP is an American who has been living in the UK for over 30 years....that's a long time. As someone who has been married to a British man for 25 years and dealt with his parents, you cannot underestimate the cultural difference between the UK and the US. My husband moved here when he was 3, so for all intents and purposes he is American except for the passport, and is a glass-half-full person like me. But my inlaws--and I don't think they are typical but-- oh dear lord. They HATE the American attitudes of glass half full, don't complain unless you are willing to make it better, you set your own world view, focus on the positive and change the negative....they literally make fun of my husband and I for how we view and tackle life. But we are happy, and they are perpetually disappointed. It's like a pair dark goggles they choose to wear. For them, I chalk it up to growing up in London during WW2, very difficult and traumatic.

But then I think of my relatives who survived Hitler's camps who came to this country and built happy, strong, joyful lives focused on the good in the world. Hmmm.

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I appreciate your support first of all and oh yes, some British folk are a bit that way. But I am very glass half full due to my Faith.

I divorced my British husband btw so no "dark goggles" hanging around my bedroom!

As I said, even with all these complications, I have had to move on, am moving house and once I get the incontinence better controlled, hope to get back to church.

Not sure we should even invoke Hitler into this, but I understand your point.

My point is this, I can and have accepted responsibility for my decision. Even where I have been misinformed and some here say, where malpractice has occurred.

Your husband will be able to understand how the NHS can be wonderful on the one hand but diabolical on the other.

And yes, I will probably go on to achieve a reasonable quality of life.

But I would have preferred my health pre op to post op.

And that's okay. It's okay for me to not like my new body missing it's insides and due to have more removed.

This is funny, but not funny... the repeated CT scans (3) and contrast dye plus all the IV meds plus cyclizine accident, turned the pigment in my eyebrows bright pink!

Now this is a side effect I didn't see coming. I had my eyebrows microbladed(tattooed) a couple of years ago. The brown pigment turned bright pink and in the daylight, it's florescent!

But that's an unforeseen complication and that one is rare.

It is the foreseeable that I am trying to discuss with people.

I only want people to research the things that I didn't know.

The facts in the book that I only got on discharge would have been enough to make me pull out of the system!

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[madadams 130]

Wow. Gina...I really truly think you need help. Seriously. I know you don't like comments I have made before as I work for, and support our NHS.

BUT...I don't believe for 1 minute that in 2 years of preop planning/ research that you weren't aware of the risks/ side effects of surgery. I paid for my surgery and only had a couple of weeks between my initial consultation and surgery. And I found out all these potential problems within that time. Gallbladder removal is common after ANY type of large weight loss...not just surgery. There are risks with any surgical procedure and I don't believe you were consented for surgery without being informed of them.

You go from being in bed and so debilitated by your surgery to going to pizza Hut for a family meal the next day!

None of your stories are consistent.

You slate the NHS but you were prepared to let them pay for your WLS. I'm interested to know how much you've paid into the system over the years. And yet you're prepared to continue to use them for your current/ future needs! If you don't like it then pay and go private!

I know you don't like people not agreeing with everything you say but tbh people are just getting bored of constantly reading the same things.

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[higher 966]

@@GinaCampbell please post a pic of the pink eyebrows!