Post op regrets topics - not popular

[GinaCampbell 434]

I don't know why everyone is wasting their time with this. Gina obviously just wants to be very clear that this was a mistake. She doesn't want to believe that one day, she could feel different. Therefore, you're all wasting your words. If someone can't even believe that there is a tiny possibility that they don't know how they're going to feel in a few months or a year, there's literally no hope of helping her through this. I think the only thing that will help is to say, Gina, this was absolutely a poor choice for you and we understand you regret it the end.

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The reason people comment is complex. Some just want an argument. Some dislike my refusal to be driven away. Some simply find it confusing that I am willing to say clearly that this surgery is not for everyone.

Your post is a common one. I don't need "help" to "get through" something that is impossible to change. The stomach is gone. I could have lost weight myself. This surgery proved it.

The reason I have lost the majority of my excess weight is because I am starving. I am only able to ingest 300 to 400 cals most days and due to constant diarrhea, lose as much liquid as I take in.

Some of us stuck to our pre op 800 cal diet because we had to to get what we wanted, surgery.

What we don't like to admit is that some of us could have tried harder without altering our body permanently.

And some of us just won't like the changes we are forced to make post op.

I am brave enough to say that regardless of how unpopular this topic is.

Again, I ask, how would you want me to feel?

My actual opinion doesn't suit you, so what feeling do you want me to have?

I could lie to the world here and say, I love my sleeve, this is great! I eat loads of Protein, don't mind the constant runs, food revulsion, etc

But then someone like me, who was looking for advice, might just think we all love our sleeves.

Thank you for highlighting this problem with your contribution!

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[bini120 163]

@@GinaCampbell I've read all the posts on here and am impressed with how masterfully and swiftly you managed to dilute the goodwill that has always been extended to you on these boards. Bravo.

People showed up to support you yet again on this thread and one by one you slapped them away, picking on words that were never meant to attack, harm or 'bully' you. Perhaps you should have prefaced in your original note that you were not looking for compassion or support and that might've effectively kept any love coming to you, at bay.

What's been phenomenal to see however, is the continued decency and patience showed by most of the responders on here, even in the face of serious vitriol spat out by the person you were doing your best to support. I thank these people for showing that nastiness can be responded to with grace - that's what I'll taking away from this mess of a thread.

Thank you!

I am here to continue to help the people who feel as I do.

For everyone who stops by to be insulting, it highlights my objective.

Education

Please feel free to unsubscribe and ignore if you have no fear of or experience with post op regrets or issues.

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It is not your desire to 'educate' others that offends me; it's your frankly baffling treatment of well-meaning people that were sincerely trying to lift your spirits and give you another perspective.

I have a niggling feeling that self-awareness might not be a forte of yours, so I'm not going to waste my time trying to put up a mirror for you see what you're doing (like others have tried to do, in a much more articulate and decent way than I can muster).

I wish you well.

[smg 471]

Look I am very sorry that you are dealing with all that you are. I think everyone who has posted in this thread has said something to that effect....at least in their first posts, before they were attacked for offering words of encouragement.

This is a support forum. Typically, when people post about their complications others are there to encourage them and let them know that it does in fact, get better. That's the very nature of a support forum such as this. Your inability to take those words as encouragement is what's baffling here.

Not only do you accuse those people of "attacking" you, but you've made it abundantly clear that you don't want support or words of encouragement if those words include anything about it POSSIBLY GETTING BETTER. This is clearly evident in your responses and immediate defensiveness to anyone who dares trying to help you.

You said "we don't know you" and you're right. I don't know you. The only way to get an impression of you is through your words posted on this forum. So my analysis based on that has me scratching my head wondering what it is you exactly hope to achieve here? You claim you want to educate. What is it exactly you want to offer by way of education? You've shared your experience. People telling you that it may get better shouldn't be taken as a threat to the message you're trying to send, yet you're clearly taking it that way. Why?

Anyone who does even a day (as opposed to 2 years) of research can clearly see the complication possibilities, both short and long-term, as well as the percentages to which they are possible. It's great that you've shared your experience here, and some of the responsibility certainly seems to reside with the medical team that was involved, but you are not open to suggestions or the possibility that it could (and for most of us, does) get better!?!?!?!

So to me, reading this thread from start to finish, I would see that your "method" of education includes telling people about the negative possibilities of this procedure (which is good, as I said), but then you go further and this is where you lose me (and probably everyone else), you go above and beyond to try it make it perfectly clear that not only is it bad, but in your infinite wisdom (of 10 weeks), you can clearly say that beyond a shadow of a doubt it absolutely will never get better, and damn anyone for even suggesting that it might. This is not a good message to send to those researching the surgery, because it's simply not true and you do not have enough post-op time in to make any long-term claims.

You have to realize how small of a percentage you are in with any complications, and you are CERTAINLY NOT far enough along to make the determination that you have long-term complications, and making that claim now only damages your credibility with anyone here who is, I'm sure. Not only that you could possibly be preventing people from getting a potentially life-saving procedure because they read this and see comments like "it will never get better", which is a comment that you just simply aren't far enough along to make, which makes it unfair to those people.

If you want to offer your experiences (on a support forum), then you should absolutely, unequivocally be open to those wishing to help by offering encouragement and suggestions. Otherwise, you are not trying to educate, you are trying to dictate.

I truly do hope things get better for you, and I also hope that one day you will re-read this thread and see why the overwhelming majority takes issue with the way you are projecting your story onto others. Nobody is challenging the fact that you are having a bad experience, but to make absolute comments like "it will never get better" is just misleading and again, a comment that you are not far enough along to make, yet you're making it over and over. That could be damaging to people who adopt that mindset without first qualifying that the source of it has the experience to make it. 10 weeks is not long-term....not by a long-shot, so making that claim is not only misinformation, it's downright dangerous to others who are still in their research phase.

Best of luck!

[Christinamo7 4,041]

@@smg so well stated. Thank you.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

@@GinaCampbell please post a pic of the pink eyebrows!

ImageUploadedByBariatricPal1470848154.337654.jpg

Can you see it (inside photo)

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Looks a bit mauve.

[GinaCampbell 434]

@@GinaCampbell I've read all the posts on here and am impressed with how masterfully and swiftly you managed to dilute the goodwill that has always been extended to you on these boards. Bravo.

People showed up to support you yet again on this thread and one by one you slapped them away, picking on words that were never meant to attack, harm or 'bully' you. Perhaps you should have prefaced in your original note that you were not looking for compassion or support and that might've effectively kept any love coming to you, at bay.

What's been phenomenal to see however, is the continued decency and patience showed by most of the responders on here, even in the face of serious vitriol spat out by the person you were doing your best to support. I thank these people for showing that nastiness can be responded to with grace - that's what I'll taking away from this mess of a thread.

Thank you!

I am here to continue to help the people who feel as I do.

For everyone who stops by to be insulting, it highlights my objective.

Education

Please feel free to unsubscribe and ignore if you have no fear of or experience with post op regrets or issues.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

It is not your desire to 'educate' others that offends me; it's your frankly baffling treatment of well-meaning people that were sincerely trying to lift your spirits and give you another perspective.

I have a niggling feeling that self-awareness might not be a forte of yours, so I'm not going to waste my time trying to put up a mirror for you see what you're doing (like others have tried to do, in a much more articulate and decent way than I can muster).

I wish you well.

As you don't know me personally, you can't possibly know what my "fortes" are.

My spirits are fine. Remember, I have a counsellor. I don't come here for that sort of emotional support because we are all simply words on a page.

If you feel "offended" because of something I write, then the issue is with you and you need to look in the mirror.

There is nothing wrong with my prospective. We are all allowed to have our own.

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[GinaCampbell 434]

Look I am very sorry that you are dealing with all that you are. I think everyone who has posted in this thread has said something to that effect....at least in their first posts, before they were attacked for offering words of encouragement.

This is a support forum. Typically, when people post about their complications others are there to encourage them and let them know that it does in fact, get better. That's the very nature of a support forum such as this. Your inability to take those words as encouragement is what's baffling here.

Not only do you accuse those people of "attacking" you, but you've made it abundantly clear that you don't want support or words of encouragement if those words include anything about it POSSIBLY GETTING BETTER. This is clearly evident in your responses and immediate defensiveness to anyone who dares trying to help you.

You said "we don't know you" and you're right. I don't know you. The only way to get an impression of you is through your words posted on this forum. So my analysis based on that has me scratching my head wondering what it is you exactly hope to achieve here? You claim you want to educate. What is it exactly you want to offer by way of education? You've shared your experience. People telling you that it may get better shouldn't be taken as a threat to the message you're trying to send, yet you're clearly taking it that way. Why?

Anyone who does even a day (as opposed to 2 years) of research can clearly see the complication possibilities, both short and long-term, as well as the percentages to which they are possible. It's great that you've shared your experience here, and some of the responsibility certainly seems to reside with the medical team that was involved, but you are not open to suggestions or the possibility that it could (and for most of us, does) get better!?!?!?!

So to me, reading this thread from start to finish, I would see that your "method" of education includes telling people about the negative possibilities of this procedure (which is good, as I said), but then you go further and this is where you lose me (and probably everyone else), you go above and beyond to try it make it perfectly clear that not only is it bad, but in your infinite wisdom (of 10 weeks), you can clearly say that beyond a shadow of a doubt it absolutely will never get better, and damn anyone for even suggesting that it might. This is not a good message to send to those researching the surgery, because it's simply not true and you do not have enough post-op time in to make any long-term claims.

You have to realize how small of a percentage you are in with any complications, and you are CERTAINLY NOT far enough along to make the determination that you have long-term complications, and making that claim now only damages your credibility with anyone here who is, I'm sure. Not only that you could possibly be preventing people from getting a potentially life-saving procedure because they read this and see comments like "it will never get better", which is a comment that you just simply aren't far enough along to make, which makes it unfair to those people.

If you want to offer your experiences (on a support forum), then you should absolutely, unequivocally be open to those wishing to help by offering encouragement and suggestions. Otherwise, you are not trying to educate, you are trying to dictate.

I truly do hope things get better for you, and I also hope that one day you will re-read this thread and see why the overwhelming majority takes issue with the way you are projecting your story onto others. Nobody is challenging the fact that you are having a bad experience, but to make absolute comments like "it will never get better" is just misleading and again, a comment that you are not far enough along to make, yet you're making it over and over. That could be damaging to people who adopt that mindset without first qualifying that the source of it has the experience to make it. 10 weeks is not long-term....not by a long-shot, so making that claim is not only misinformation, it's downright dangerous to others who are still in their research phase.

Best of luck!

What is "dangerous" is the refusal by most people on this thread who disagree with my personal experience (go figure? How can anyone challenge my own experience?) regardless of how many weeks I am post op, and who try to keep inserting emotions into a factual situation.

Using words like "dictate"! Hilarious! It's an internet forum, not a political war!

It is not dangerous for me to state that our NHS bariatric program does not educate and inform pre op participants about long term complications, situations such as food aversion, food revulsion, non ingestion of Proteins, bowel conditions, gallbladder removal, malnutrition complications (some life threatening).

It is not dangerous for me to say, "Please look into this or that". Or to say "I don't like what I did to my body so you are not alone if you feel as myself and my friends do.".

I never ever said that my health would not get "better". What I said is that MY surgeon, post op, had informed me that my gallbladder won't get better, that my bowel condition is not expected to change (see all other people on BP who have diarrhea post op long term), that food revulsion/aversion can be long term.

Are you in England? Have you been through our program? What do you know about what our information program?

My "credibility" should not concern you. It doesn't worry me.

You don't read and comprehend my point.

You simply whine about how I am rejecting the "love".

Support is not telling me to shut up and get off this website. Support is not telling me that my points are not valid. Support is accepting that my point of view is as valid as yours.

Why not just go participate on a thread that you enjoy? Or unsubscribe, hit ignore and move along.

Thank you for highlighting this issue!

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[GinaCampbell 434]

@@GinaCampbell please post a pic of the pink eyebrows!

ImageUploadedByBariatricPal1470848154.337654.jpg

Can you see it (inside photo)

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Looks a bit mauve.

Even mauve is still a bit distracting to people who see them!

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[GinaCampbell 434]

Just a thanks to everyone who has messaged me and for the friend requests. Your support is appreciated.

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[WitchySar 244]

I just finished reading this thread and WOW, what a wild ride this was!

I know quite a few people who have had WLS. Most recently the sleeve but the ones who had it years ago had the bypass. I know at least a couple of them 100% regret the surgery even now, MANY years later (and when I say many, I mean MANY... one women had the surgery about 11 years ago). So is it possible to regret WLS? Yeah, I believe it is. Some people regret it right after surgery and then change their minds over time. Some people don't. The OP seems convinced she will never not regret it. Well I'm not her, who am I to say she's wrong? I hope she doesn't always regret it, but that's not my call to make.

As one who hasn't yet had surgery I want to read about both the good and the bad. Threads telling about complications and regrets are just as valuable as threads telling how awesome and life changing WLS is. So for that, thank you for this thread.

Also thank you for the entertainment. This was a hell of a read.

[JJCool 104]

Hi Gina,

I have been reading through your story and am so so sorry to hear of the terrible experience you have had. I was excited to find someone else who had been through a sleeve gastrectomy on the NHS but then I was shocked to see how different our experiences were.

I think the way your bariatric team run their surgeries, based on what you have said, certainly sound like a dreadful mismanagement which I think is particular to them – I can only base that on a comparison to mine but it certainly seems like yours are (sorry for the language but..) totally crap!

I understand what you mean about not wanting to take legal action against them – things work differently here in the UK and that’s not the way things get fixed here generally. But I would urge you to lodge a complaint so that your treatment – and those of your friends who have also been given a terrible service in your area – can be assessed at a higher level. You may have already looked into that, and may or may not have decided to or not to. I don’t mean to tell you what to do but want to help if I can!

I’m also wondering if your GP can give you a referral to specialists for your bowel and other issues rather than asking your surgeon to continue to deal with them? When I moved home halfway through my assessment period for surgery I was glad to discover that as patients we now have more choice where we go to get treatments now and don’t just have to go wherever the GP thinks best to send us, or even within our home PCT. For me this meant sticking with the Bariatric team I had already begun to meet with although I moved to a new area – for you it may mean some travel but treatment somewhere that can help rather than hinder you further with your complications?

Anyway you are very likely to know all this already and I don’t mean to suggest you do anything other than what you have already chosen is the best treatment for you going forward. I would like to help though, if there is anything I can do please let me know.

And I am glad to hear that you have been able to keep your spirits up throughout, I hope your health improves and that your house move isn’t too difficult.

All the best

Jo x

[higher 966]

@@GinaCampbell please post a pic of the pink eyebrows!

ImageUploadedByBariatricPal1470848154.337654.jpg

Can you see it (inside photo)

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Looks a bit mauve.

I saw a striking cater waiter at a visiting ballet company reception recently who had a closely shaved head of dark hair but electric blue eyebrows. For some reason, I was expecting something more like that!

[madadams 130]

As I said...it was my CHOICE to pay. No regrets/ jealousy or any other negative feelings about paying for it it was worth every single penny. So don't jump to conclusions. Just like you keep telling everyone else!

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[GinaCampbell 434]

Hi Gina,

I have been reading through your story and am so so sorry to hear of the terrible experience you have had. I was excited to find someone else who had been through a sleeve gastrectomy on the NHS but then I was shocked to see how different our experiences were.

I think the way your bariatric team run their surgeries, based on what you have said, certainly sound like a dreadful mismanagement which I think is particular to them – I can only base that on a comparison to mine but it certainly seems like yours are (sorry for the language but..) totally crap!

I understand what you mean about not wanting to take legal action against them – things work differently here in the UK and that’s not the way things get fixed here generally. But I would urge you to lodge a complaint so that your treatment – and those of your friends who have also been given a terrible service in your area – can be assessed at a higher level. You may have already looked into that, and may or may not have decided to or not to. I don’t mean to tell you what to do but want to help if I can!

I’m also wondering if your GP can give you a referral to specialists for your bowel and other issues rather than asking your surgeon to continue to deal with them? When I moved home halfway through my assessment period for surgery I was glad to discover that as patients we now have more choice where we go to get treatments now and don’t just have to go wherever the GP thinks best to send us, or even within our home PCT. For me this meant sticking with the Bariatric team I had already begun to meet with although I moved to a new area – for you it may mean some travel but treatment somewhere that can help rather than hinder you further with your complications?

Anyway you are very likely to know all this already and I don’t mean to suggest you do anything other than what you have already chosen is the best treatment for you going forward. I would like to help though, if there is anything I can do please let me know.

And I am glad to hear that you have been able to keep your spirits up throughout, I hope your health improves and that your house move isn’t too difficult.

All the best

Jo x

Thanks Jo! Not sure what will happen with the bowel referral now. I rang up and chased results and was informed that I have Clostridium Difficile and have had for weeks if not months! I hope that I haven't infected my family and other people along the way!

The surgeon knew in June that I had it, the infectious disease team knew I had it, even my GP knew I had it. But no one told me.

Massive amounts or huge tablets to take that can't be crushed.

I will message you Jo and thanks for your support! It means alot!

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[GinaCampbell 434]

As I said...it was my CHOICE to pay. No regrets/ jealousy or any other negative feelings about paying for it it was worth every single penny. So don't jump to conclusions. Just like you keep telling everyone else!

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It was you that made a big issue of how you paid and I didn't! Of course I have paid in contributions, military service etc.

It was you that made a big deal of the loan you took out.

Not me.

I am just dealing with Clostridium Difficile that the hospital "forgot" to tell me that I had at the moment.

And if you sling mud my way, expect your hands to get a bit dirty!

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