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When and what to say to your boss

Heatgirl03

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Heatgirl03    41

Heatgirl03
Posted

So I went to the surgeon today and attended the seminar and spoke to the Surgeon. I have to do 4 months of dieting with the NUT and then they will process with my insurance. I now have a lot of appointments (blood work, EKG). I told my manager I was going to a cardiologist appointment because I don't want anyone knowing at work. So when do I sit her down to let her know about this upcoming surgery? How do I tell her? I don't want her to know that I lied to her. I need to take at least 2 weeks off and I just don't know what to do?? Any advice would be great (Her and I are close, but I just think she will try to talk me out of it)

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chycky    671

chycky
Posted

I would not feel you need to explain your surgery. You will have cardio appt most likely. I am not one to bring my personal in. I did my medical appts because I had doctors appointments. When came time for surgery. I just said I have a minor surgery and will need to be off one week and work from home the next. I was not asked to explain although there was some light prodding.

It is not appropriate for employer to pry and if they do ask or find out and treat you any differently that could pose problem for them if you formally complain.

But if you work for very small employer your protections could be less and pressure higher to share. I would just say having some stomach issues and Doctor doing a hernia repair and that you will have significant dietary changes for healing and prevention but all will be fine.

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NewAdventure2016    131

NewAdventure2016
Posted

I'm kind of in the same boat. I really don't want to tell anyone except my family. I don't want to lie but I also don't want to have all those discussions where everyone either tries to tell me I don't need it or tells me all the WLS horror stories. I've done my research, I know this is a right choice for me and I don't want to spend hours depending my decision. I can only swing 1 week off, so hopefully at my age, I can recover enough in 7 days.

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Heatgirl03    41

Heatgirl03
Posted

That is great information and thank you so much! I will definitely go with the hernia repair! I'm just a very private person and I just don't want the entire company knowing my personal business!

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beautiful_alarms    12

beautiful_alarms
Posted

You also could probably get away with telling people that you're having your gallbladder removed - typically it's a laparoscopic surgery with dietary restrictions afterward - and when I had mine out, I took 2 weeks off from work. Anyway, ultimately, it's no one's business, right? I can't ever keep anything to myself so I've been telling everyone. Only one person has said something like "oh you don't need that" and I just politely said that my health care providers disagree and moved the conversation on to other things.

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SweetPotato    142

SweetPotato
Posted

I literally just told them I was taking a week off for medical reasons. That's it. As a former HR professional, I know they can't ask for too much more info and I didn't feel comfortable disclosing,

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chycky    671

chycky
Posted

You can get a letter from surgeon if required for your sick leave but that would be highly unusual and I don't think you would have to include details of what surgery.

Fmla only comes in if you have no leave available to use. That means you have no vaca or sick but use Fmla to keep job. And do leave without pay. It would be unusual unless you are hourly with no leave available.

Be careful with gal bladder excuse because you might have that actually happen. You can have more than one hernia but only one gal bladder emergency!

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Dinks97420    52

Dinks97420
Posted

Make sure you do fmla. It will protect your job if something goes wrong and you need to be off work for a longer period of time. Minimum days off is 3 for the medical reason to qualify. The doc will need to fill out paperwork

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Heatgirl03    41

Heatgirl03
Posted

Thank You all! I will most likely do FMLA just in case. I do have vacation and sick time but not for 2 weeks. I also have short term disability. So I guess if I need it, I will use it. Thanks again for all of your input. I really appreciate it :)

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NewAdventure2016    131

NewAdventure2016
Posted

You can get a letter from surgeon if required for your sick leave but that would be highly unusual and I don't think you would have to include details of what surgery.

Fmla only comes in if you have no leave available to use. That means you have no vaca or sick but use Fmla to keep job. And do leave without pay. It would be unusual unless you are hourly with no leave available.

Be careful with gal bladder excuse because you might have that actually happen. You can have more than one hernia but only one gal bladder emergency!

Our employees can utilize FMLA PAID (where they use their PTO but it counts toward FMLA) or FMLA UNPAID (which they use after 7 days) and then they revert to Short Term Disability. They are required to use 7 days of their PTO first though before STD kicks in. They are offered FMLA after 3 days medical leave but they are not required to accept it.

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Go To Topic Listing PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A

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    • KeeWee

      KeeWee

      It's been 10 long years! Here is my VSG weight loss surgiversary update..
      https://www.ae1bmerchme.com/post/10-year-surgiversary-update-for-2024 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Aunty Mamo

      Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
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    • BeanitoDiego

      BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
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      1. This update has no replies.
    • ChunkCat

      ChunkCat

      Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I totally forgot I wrote an update here... I'm one week post op today. I gained 15 lbs in water weight overnight because they had to give me tons of fluids to bring my BP up after surgery! I stayed one night in the hospital. Everything has been fine except I seem to have picked up a bug while I was there and I've been running a low grade fever, coughing, and a sore throat. So I've been hydrating well and sleeping a ton. So far the Covid tests are negative.
      I haven't been able to advance my diet past purees. Everything I eat other than tofu makes me choke and feels like trying to swallow rocks. They warned me it would get worse before it gets better, so lets hope this is all normal. I have my follow up on Monday so we'll see. Living on shakes and soup again is not fun. I had enough of them the first time!! LOL 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.

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