Im not sure if its a requirement but my surgeon wants me to go to therapy, i've been to therapy twice, each lasting for about 6 months, it never lasts too long because i just never benefit from it, its just too repetitive for me and theres never anything to talk about, it becomes awkward for me so i just do not like it, its just not something that works for me, i like to do my own thing. Does anyone HAVE to go? even if they don't want to? what will happen if i just refuse? its hard for me so refuse to things because i don't want to seem rude. I'm 14 days post-op.

You trusted your surgeon to operate on you.

Trust him now if in his opinion therapy will help you become more successful on you WLS journey.

If going will help you , why not go? We all have to do things that we aren't crazy about from time to time. It's called being an adult--with adult issues.

Talking through some of those issues just MIGHT make your journey just a wee bit smoother.

Go. What's the "down" side of going beside you just don't wanna???

Give a valiant effort. Really give it a serious attempt and see what happens.

Let us know. Yes we're nosy, but we really care about YOU.

Not therapy but he requires support group once a month pre and post op

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I tried two of the support group meetings.

Absolutely hated them.

Too much whining and complaining and excuses, excuses, excuses. Hours of my life that I can never get back.

They're not necessary, but a doctor's input is always one to consider. My doctor's nurse suggested going to the support meetings and I might try and make it out to some and I electively want to continue to see my therapist (who is my therapist from dialysis and transplant, as well).

The doctor wants to see you succeed , your questions and sometimes your answers to questions are very telling to a trained listener. The therapist is there to help you examine why and how you got where you are, to use surgery as your tool to finally get the weight off. Emotional reasons, or bad habit's are two main reasons. But only you know those. We all need to discover that to be honest and succeed by addressing it.

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I am squarely in the camp of using every resource available to help me. Personally, I have found the years of attending support groups, recovery groups, individual, and group therapy, grief therapy, church, professional development training, personal development training, reading, journaling, and other supports extremely helpful and have directly influenced my success with WLS and with life.

With a bit of openness and effort on your part you can make the most of any experience.

As to there never being anything to talk about in therapy, maybe that is a clue of something you could work on: finding ways to open up be honest with yourself and others.

Another thing you might want to work on, based on your post, is setting boundaries and learning how to say "no" when it is appropriate.

Any time and effort devoted to personal growth is never wasted in my opinion.

WLS surgery is extremely stressful and since for many of us, using food has been how we have coped with stress, a good therapist can help you learn healthy ways to cope with and relieve stress.

A couple of books I have found helpful, one of which was recommended by my former therapist are: Eat it Up! by Connie Stapelton (a book written specifically for those of us who have undergone WLS) and The One Life Solution by Henry Cloud.

Best of luck with your journey and keep us posted on how you are doing.

@@TanairyVSG

My concern would it be just any therapist, meaning you can pick your own, or he wants to see this specific one he is associated with.

If he only wants you to see a specific therapist, then it might just be a money thing.

If you are an emotional or stress eater, a therapist can be helpful. I have never found that I need one that long term, 2 or 3 visits and I can usually work out my problem. The key is to just find a good one.

If you don't want to do what this doctor wants, just find a different one. You have to pick a program that works for you. I passed up some well known programs in Chicago because they want to spend so much time on extra visits. I work for myself and I don't have that kind of time to spare.

Im not sure if its a requirement but my surgeon wants me to go to therapy, i've been to therapy twice, each lasting for about 6 months, it never lasts too long because i just never benefit from it, its just too repetitive for me and theres never anything to talk about, it becomes awkward for me so i just do not like it, its just not something that works for me, i like to do my own thing. Does anyone HAVE to go? even if they don't want to? what will happen if i just refuse? its hard for me so refuse to things because i don't want to seem rude. I'm 14 days post-op.

I would try and see if you benefit from it. I went biweekly while I am pre-surgery and actually got a lot out of it. It was a psychologist from my Bariatric Program who worked with my on eating issues (emotional eating, mindless eating). She gave me tools I feel will help me be successful post-op. My guess is that your surgeon has a concern and it's best to address it.

I see a therapist once a month. He's been very helpful. I committed to 3 years of therapy when I started down this path. I'm almost 2 years into it now.

Im not sure if its a requirement but my surgeon wants me to go to therapy, i've been to therapy twice, each lasting for about 6 months, it never lasts too long because i just never benefit from it, its just too repetitive for me and theres never anything to talk about, it becomes awkward for me so i just do not like it, its just not something that works for me, i like to do my own thing. Does anyone HAVE to go? even if they don't want to? what will happen if i just refuse? its hard for me so refuse to things because i don't want to seem rude. I'm 14 days post-op.

I sincerely doubt your surgeon would recommend this to you if he/she didn't think you personally would benefit from it.

And I hear a few things here.....you've been twice, never for more than 6 months bc it's too repetitive, there's nothing to talk about, it's awkward so you just don't like it, and you like to do your own thing.

If it's repetitive, what is it repetitive about? What keeps coming up repetitively?

If there's nothing to talk about, how did you wind up in therapy before for 2 separate efforts? And now you're being recommended to a third try from your surgeon?

It becomes awkward for you and you just don't like it.....no one likes anything awkward. That's life. Pushing through it is what you do, not avoid it. The only way out, is through.

You like to do your own thing....how has that worked for you -- or for ANY of us here -- in terms of food and weight control issues? Typically if we are all here, we haven't done too well doing things our own way.

I don't see what you have to lose by seeing a therapist and really digging in to see what you can learn about yourself. I can't imagine feeling like I had nothing left to learn about myself and how I move through the world.

I am not trying to be harsh, I honestly think you should get all the help you can during this huge physical AND psychological transformation. And yes, I do have a bias. I have been in therapy (I am an abuse and trauma survivor), and when I look around at my family, the only truly functional ones are the ones who have faced their problems head on and fiercely through therapy....the ones who rejected therapy and did things their own way, who thought therapy was useless after a few months, who thought they didn't need anyone's help to learn how to change/grow .... they are all either addicted to something, codependent, depressed, or dead by suicide. I know that's harsh to hear, but that has been my crystal clear experience.

Very few of us wind up on the operating table just because we thought food was delicious. People are more complex than that, whether we believe it or not.

Please consider giving therapy a chance at this time....what harm could it cause to try?

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@@gina171

I am more skeptical without more information. And people can go to therapy to work through a life event, not because they have some major issue. Going to therapy because you are grieving is not the same this as going to therapy for a behavioral issue.

Recently someone posted that the hospital they selected required everyone going through bariatric surgery to undergo alcohol counseling even if they had a alcohol issue just because of the religious beliefs of the hospital. That isn't a good reason to end up in therapy. Especially when therapy costs money and more importantly time.

OP, didn't state why the doctor suggested she go to weekly therapy. Some programs require everyone to do something when it really just generates income for them.

Medicine in America is still a for profit business.