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Lies we told ourselves when we were fat



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I am 18 months post sleeve surgery. I have about 20 pounds to go to meet goal. I am 5'"3. I remember when I was in my twenties and early thirties and I was obese (versus morbidly obese) I would read the height weight charts and always figure they didn't really apply to me. I was heavy boned. Therefore it was fine I was 10 or 15 or 20 pounds heavier than those charts. Now that I have lost so much weight I realize not only am I not big boned I am actually pretty petite.

I was trying to find a Bracelet to go with a particular dress. Everything I tried on was way too big for my wrists. I actually almost need to buy children't sized jewelry. Remember I still need to lose 20 pounds to be at "goal". Goal would put me at the top end of my range for my height. Therefore I probably should lose more like 30-40 more pounds. I can't imagine how tiny my wrists will be then. So much for being "big boned".

So what other lies did you tell yourself while you were fat?

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I told myself people will like me for me.

I told myself its okay if I over eat because skinny people do too.

Sent from my SM-G360T1 using the BariatricPal App

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I told myself:

- I just need more willpower and I can get thin

- the next diet will be it and then I will shed the fat and never regain it

- I will only be a truly successful person when I'm thin

- I'm a weak willed wimp who just needs to toughen up and then I can lose this weight

Those are the lies I was told, told myself and unfortunately believed.

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I love this topic!

I was a huge liar to myself. "It doesn't matter that I'm obese because I'm fit - I exercise much more than the thin people I know." "I very rarely eat junk food, so I'm not at risk for diabetes." "The carbs I eat don't count because it's all whole grains, Beans and fruit/veg." "If I just focused more I could lose all this weight and finally keep it off." "I'm a grownup who knows how to eat; I don't need a dietician." "I can be happy or thin/dieting, but not both." "It's profeminist for me not to care about my weight." "I'm not addicted to food." "I'm not as obese as the Biggest Loser cast so I don't need to lose weight." "I can do sports just as effectively fat as thin." "There's nothing I can do about becoming thin so I may as well give up." "My doctor told me I don't need to lose weight, so he must be right."

All LIES!

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I told my self, "I am happy".

I kept telling myself, "I am happy".

I now tell myself, "I'm working on being happy".

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It's a special event.

The problem was I was doing many "special events" particularly while traveling. For the people I was meeting with it was "a special event." They only had them two times a year, but I was have 70 or 80 of them a year.

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You deserve it. :P

I mean seriously I just over indulged myself all the time.

It didn't help I had a high stress job an expense account and attended a lot of company events at 5 star hotels and very expensive restaurants. Working in the Tech field we had free lunch every day at work, catered happy hour on Fridays with unlimited booze in the office, free vending machines. You name it. I had an endless buffet of free food for years. Also no one cares if you are a fat nerd, it adds to your legend.

I still deserve all the nice and exquisite things in the world but they don't have to be food based. There is a world full of shoes :lol:

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Your last two sentences just fast-forwarded me through a year of counseling, I think. Thank you!

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I always told myself I was big boned and like you my bones are actually very petite. None of my old jewelry fits and my mother N law's jewelry does fit either. She was tiny!!!! When she passed away I got a lot of her jewelry and I need to get most of it resized.

- I told myself after many diets that failed because of regain that I was happy fat.

- I told myself I really didn't eat much so I simply had a crappy metabolism and I no longer needed to try.

- I told myself many many times that I worked hard, had a ton of stress and deserved to eat crappy food.

The list could go on an one.....

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I truly believed I had a crummy metabolism. I had no idea how much I ate till the nutritionist had me log everything in. It was an eye opener for me.

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I kept telling myself that I didn't look as big as I actually was, that I carried my weight well. Now, only 3 months after sleeve, I look at the pre-sleeve pics and realize how wrong I was.

Sent from my iPad using the BariatricPal App

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I told myself that the damage I was doing to my body would go away whenever I finally got thin.

Well, some did. Not all. Joints are badly damaged, high blood pressure still needs meds, and loose skin will never snap back.

JustWatchMe

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I thought. I'm really not that big. I eat fairly well. Perhaps a bit too much. But good quality food. I believed you had to eat right when hunger knocked.

Ha. I have learned how little the body can get by on daily sometimes. I have learned it really is ok to be hungry for a couple of hours when you need to be , for a myriad of reasons. It all works out.

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if i cross my legs over like this (photo on the right) i will look smaller. "these are my skinny jeans" "my bmi isn't that high" "i'm not THAT big" 13563726_10209406217169652_61145577_n.jp

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The biggest lie I told myself was that my compulsive eating was worth it, and that I really wasn't that big.

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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