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When online dating didnt work out....



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so what would be the next step after the whole online dating thing didnt work out?

i am so rusty at all of this....

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I had to kiss a lot of frogs to find my prince.............

just move forward with good boundaries. get out, enjoy life, do things you like, meet people. I believe the right one will show up probably when you're just doing something else.

I met my husband online at a common interest site, there wasn't online dating back then - not that I know of anyway.

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Keep trying. Or rather, don't just give up because you had one or two bad dates. Live your life, be as social as you're comfortable being, and just... be you!

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Don't condemn online dating after one bad experience. There are lots of people out there. Which online dating sites have you tried?

Another option is to join some meetup groups that match your interests. Especially for activity based meetups. Even if you don't end up with dates, you make new friends of both genders and get to be active with a group of people. I found some for hiking, social activities, specifically singles activities. There are an almost infinite number of meetups out there.

Good luck!

pam

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Keep dating. :)

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It is a numbers game. My last three months on Match.com

I sent 149 emails via their site

I received 61 back

15 coffee dates

6 real dates

3 multiple dates

1 possible match that had to be aborted because of serious signs of mental illness

And finally She showed up and we have been going out for the last eight months and it keeps getting better every time we go out.

Here is an interesting thread on the subject: http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/336754-unsolicited-online-dating-advice/

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Online dating can be frustrating, you have to do lots of "weeding" so to speak.... Just have fun with it, at its worse it's given you some dating experience... At best you could meet your match...

Some where in the middle you can fund some adult fun too.

"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them"

Einstein

Edited by nyteacher125

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Keep trying and have a lot of laughs along the way. If it's not working, stop contact, explain why and move on.

I met my husband online... sometimes it does work out :D

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It could still work out - there's no end date. Just put yourself out there - try different sites. Find some great activities to do and meet people that way. And enjoy being alone - don't feel desperate to find someone. I also have to say - don't dismiss people based on initial looks, likes or dislikes. Open your mind to the possibilities. Be confident!

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@@KristenLe not sure your age range but in the 40's some people let themselves go way too far if they have been single too long... Keeping your sense of humor is key. I can't wait to see what dating will be like after WLS, pre op it's been pretty hysterical.

"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them"

Einstein

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Like others have said and..

Get someone else, like maybe a trusted guy to look at your profile for suggestions. I actually looked at my brother's and took note. Maybe it can be improved to be more positive, less wordy or whatever..

Ensure you have good boundaries and confidence so the creepers will go away and you can spot the narcissists a mile away (Let me Reach with Kim Saeed is a magical website for seeing those types of dynamics in relationships).

Keep trying and see dates as Job Interviews, jettison the junk, and the dates keep you on your toes, so to speak.

Go to events of people that have interests you have. Go to Meetups and search for, let's say, Hikes, in your area and join a group. Then at least you have a group of people that you may become buddies/friends with and might find a sweetie too.

..and here I am, going to take my 45 year old self's advice :)

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@ I just turned 48 but met my boyfriend online at 41 years old. I met a few doozies in the process (one with dirty socks on) and actually hadn't even seen a picture of Bob before we met in person. You have to take a chance - thankfully mine paid off. I hope I never have to do it again though.

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I'm so sorry to hear that you aren't having a good time online dating. Like everyone says, you have to weed through a lot of bozos but you can also find someone wonderful! I met my fiancé on OKC and I still can't believe I found such a wonderful, loving and thoughtful partner to spend my life with. Here are some tips from my ups and downs with online dating:

  1. Get a girlfriend to do online dating with you. Have a fun, girly night where you create your profiles, get dolled up and take some awesome photos. You can help edit each other's profiles to keep them fun and light and you can start this adventure in a positive way rather than feeling like you are caving in to a last resort.
  2. Take breaks. If you aren't enjoying online dating it shows and you are less likely to be successful. Everyone takes breaks from online dating - it's best to come back to it when you aren't so drained from the experience.
  3. Try casual dating online before you look for a long term relationship. I found my fiancé while we were both looking for something casual and love struck us. But before I met him, I had a great summer going on casual dates and getting to know different people. Not being so invested in trying to find a relationship let me focus on MY needs and I was in a great head space when the right one came along.
  4. This was just my experience but as this is a weight loss forum... I found I had much more success when I embraced body positivity. Before this, any guy who complimented me on my curves or said they were looking for a curvy woman I wrote off as a fat fetishist. Lord knows there are creepy fat fetishists on dating websites but some men just love a curvy body and not only is that ok, but it's awesome.
  5. Check out the Bye Felipe Instagram account and podcast. They were started by women coming together to laugh at the misogynists and creepers who we have all encountered online and it is better to laugh at these ridiculous messages than to cry. Bye Felipe is also sponsored by the Burner App, which allows you to use temporary phone numbers instead of giving out your real one - which I really wish had been around when I was online dating.

So, those are my tips. Sorry for the novel - but good luck with your journey and hopefully this helps!

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so what would be the next step after the whole online dating thing didnt work out?

i am so rusty at all of this....

I'm having the same dilemma. I'm sort of on a hiatus from online dating. It just became so exhausting.

Sent from my SM-G925T using the BariatricPal App

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You can cast a wider net, but you don't have to give up the dating sites. An acquaintance who will very soon marry a man from a dating website simply decided to keep meeting and dating from it until she found the right one.

You will find a lot of incompatible or inappropriate me, but there are good ones with good intentions. Just be sure of your requirements and, moreso, which are non-negotiable.

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