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Told my Mother I was having surgery and her repsonse is.........



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I AM VERY FORTUNATE, MY FAMILY HAS BEEN VERY SUPPORTIVE OR ELSE THEY KNOW BETTER THAN TO GIVE ME CRAP LOL

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Update!

:angry: I didn't expect this bs. My families pestering me about this surgery. It's 2.5 days away and they just won't let up. I told my mother...reaction wasn't good. I fought with telling my sisters but eventually told 1 of them. Her reaction wasn't/isn't good either...this is the nutritionist one.

Now they are sending me info on some extreme weightloss diet program.

They look at this as if it's cosmetic surgery....despite the fact that my surgery was approved as medically necessary. They are stating that the only reason the surgery exist is for Dr.s to make MORE $$$ and that the whole thing is a healthcare scam. wth.....

I know that its ultimately my choice but I feel like I am punching a brick wall or simply just banging my head on it.

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@@reachbree

Ignore them, and focus on yourself. If you are on your liquid diet, you really don't need this drama.

Good luck and update us after surgery

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@@reachbree You don't need this stress! They don't get to make decisions for you. They should do some further research and realize that it's a less than 5% chance of keeping weight off when lost on your own. An extreme weight loss program is NOT sustainable. Please try not to let them upset you! This is NOT cosmetic surgery. Hang in there!!!

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Update!

:angry: I didn't expect this bs. My families pestering me about this surgery. It's 2.5 days away and they just won't let up. I told my mother...reaction wasn't good. I fought with telling my sisters but eventually told 1 of them. Her reaction wasn't/isn't good either...this is the nutritionist one.

Now they are sending me info on some extreme weightloss diet program.

They look at this as if it's cosmetic surgery....despite the fact that my surgery was approved as medically necessary. They are stating that the only reason the surgery exist is for Dr.s to make MORE $$$ and that the whole thing is a healthcare scam. wth.....

I know that its ultimately my choice but I feel like I am punching a brick wall or simply just banging my head on it.

Earlier you mentioned that your mom may visit after surgery. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES LET HER IN YOUR HOUSE. You need to man up and tell her and your sisters to stay home and keep their opinions to themselves. Do not open their emails. Do not answer the phone if caller ID shows it is them. Tell them they are welcome to come once they have decided to support you, but if they are not going to support, they are not welcome.

It will be hard. You will cry. But if you let them come to visit you, you will be beyond miserable. Temporarily cut off contact and talk to them after you are home from surgery a week or so. If they call, your husband can answer the phone and tell them you are fine, surgery went well and you are resting. Every last time they call.

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Ultimately this is YOUR life and not theirs! People who don't need WLS or can control their eating and weight easily, seem to think it's scam, the easy way out, or unhealthy. But they are uneducated on the details and benefits. I reccomend having a little family detox, clear your head and figure out what's best for you!!

Keep us updated! Many people are here to support you!

Sent from my SM-G900T using the BariatricPal App

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Update!

:angry: I didn't expect this bs. My families pestering me about this surgery. It's 2.5 days away and they just won't let up. I told my mother...reaction wasn't good. I fought with telling my sisters but eventually told 1 of them. Her reaction wasn't/isn't good either...this is the nutritionist one.

Now they are sending me info on some extreme weightloss diet program.

They look at this as if it's cosmetic surgery....despite the fact that my surgery was approved as medically necessary. They are stating that the only reason the surgery exist is for Dr.s to make MORE $$$ and that the whole thing is a healthcare scam. wth.....

I know that its ultimately my choice but I feel like I am punching a brick wall or simply just banging my head on it.

I'm really sorry those who should be your support system are bringing you down.

Their line of thinking is really illogical to me. The extreme weight loss diet program they are recommending to you as an alternative to surgery is profit-driven, as are most. In 2014 the weight loss market totaled $64 billion. Even the more established, credible programs, such as Weight Watchers, that are not merely fads have a low percentage of people who are able to achieve sustainable weight loss. Compare their 5-year success rate to that of people who've had bariatric surgery, and it makes it clear which one is more effective. If there was a program that truly had demonstrated effectiveness at longterm weight loss, there wouldn't constantly be new programs and trends popping up. Everyone would just stick with what was tried and true. Insurance companies also care a lot about profit. That's why they are loathe to provide coverage when there isn't a proven medical necessity. Bariatric surgery is expensive. So is plastic surgery, but it's exceedingly rare for it to be covered by insurance, and is usually only provided for cases such as following a mastectomy. They do not pay thousands of dollars for surgeries that are just for cosmetic purposes. I mean, insurance companies are notorious for refusing to provide coverage in cases where you'd assume they absolutely would, such as for expensive medicines related to cancer treatment (such as Neupogen, which costs a staggering amount, is very necessary, and frequently denied coverage by insurance companies), so it totally defies reason that they'd pay for a surgery they didn't think you'd need. You could point that out to them. The fact that medical professionals examined you and your medical history and determined that it was necessary for you, and insurance approved it should be sufficient reason for your mom and sister to understand why this is a wise move you're making to take care of yourself.

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This is about you .. your health. It seems like they are trying to make it about them. You are doing this for your health. your future... never mind what they think or have to say.. the doctors don't do this surgery for the heck of it... they do it because you NEED it.this surgery works if you do what needs to be done.. You can take back power over your body and lose the weight and be healthy. Don't let them derail you off this path you decided on... and you did it because you knew this was your chance to get healthy. You can do this without them.. because in the end this is one thing you are doing for you. and you deserve this. it works long term... it changes your life. God Girl let me tell you I bought a home in march and had to rehab it... and before the surgery I could not have done it but I did I painted the inside... I painted the cabinets... I painted two porches not all at once but before the surgery I would not have been able to do half of what I did....Stay strong... those fad diets never work... I have tried so many of them to lose a few pounds here and there and when it became to expensive or I was tired of it the weight plus came back.... this works.

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Thanks for the support you guys.

They are still hounding me with emails, calls and Skype messages and I mean LOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNG messages. I spoke with my father this morning and while he wasn't excited about it, he was more accepting of it.

However, now I am scared out of my mind about going through with this surgery. How nice!

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You got this don't be scared its gonna be the best gift you can ever give yourself

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I'm a 43 mother of 3 and was hesitant to tell my Mom, but knew I had too. Of course she was like can't you just eat better and exercise. I explained to her about the things going on that you don't see like pre diabetes, fatty liver, high cholesterol, and sleep apnea. She understands my decision and is 100% on board.

Good luck!

Sent from my SM-G928T using the BariatricPal App

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You are related to a lot of controlling bitches, aren't you?

So sorry.

Unplug the land line and block them on your cell.

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Had my pre-op with surgeon and staff today and feeling a bit better and bit more confident. I told her what my concerns were, asked the questions I had and she gave me some reassurance.

As for my family now they're saying that they are all coming down to see me next week!!! As much as a I miss them and want to see them, i dont think this is a good time. besides I don't want them to come down if it means that they will shame me and make me feel bad about my decision. I certainly don't want my holistic nutritionist sister going through my kitchen cabinets and fridge asking why do I have this and why do I have that.

Now that you mention it, controlling may be a good word for them..

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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