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@@jccanada Welcome to my world.... My husband of 25 years is the same way. He is always accusing me of the same. Every time I pick up my phone or iPad he says.... What are you doing texting your boyfriend. Finally I just started feeding into it, so now when he says that, I say... Why yes I am, want to say hello? Shuts him right up. I recently asked for a divorce. He is not happy about it at all. I did a disapearing act where I took off three weekends in a row and didn't tell him were I was going or who with. Live your life. Don't wait take your life back. It would not get any better

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@@jccanada Welcome to my world.... My husband of 25 years is the same way. He is always accusing me of the same. Every time I pick up my phone or iPad he says.... What are you doing texting your boyfriend. Finally I just started feeding into it, so now when he says that, I say... Why yes I am, want to say hello? Shuts him right up. I recently asked for a divorce. He is not happy about it at all. I did a disapearing act where I took off three weekends in a row and didn't tell him were I was going or who with. Live your life. Don't wait take your life back. It would not get any better

Some times I just don't understand. I feed to it at times. Other times it makes me cry.

Sent from my SM-N920V using the BariatricPal App

Edited by jccanada

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Does anyone else seem to feel like their spouse treats them differently?

I can't look at my phone without hearing, "what, ...are you talking to your boyfriend?"

I've been with my husband 7 years, never once giving him a reason to distrust me. I love him with everything I am. But I've heard this every day for about 3 weeks.

Tonight I was rolling over in bed and was asked if I was getting up to get my phone.

I just just can't understand this. I also can't seem to feel like I can take much more of it.

Sent from my SM-N920V using the BariatricPal App

Jccanada...You are not alone as many of us have being thru something like it in many ways. Im but 11 days after surgery and my hubby its acting wired too I don't blame him if its hard for me i cant imagine how hard it will be for him to think his fat wife it will be skinny and atractive in no time. My concern is. Can I handle his underline jealousy? Your hubby and mine are guys that their self-esteem its low. And i believe we have more important things to think about like for instance

Our Healt

Our Protein intake

Our exercise

Our marriage its important but if the other half its not cooperative find the way hpy to get him to marriage counseling. And if dont work center you energy in the better you.

XoXoX.

Blessings

Sent from my LGMS631 using the BariatricPal App

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MY husband told me he loves me more when I was fat

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Being separated for about 6 months ,and i recently had the surgery on his insurance was the best thing he could of gave me.. (he had no choice,since im insured) ,he cheated several times, walked out on me and his sons 1 yrs, 6yrs, 8 yrs, and guess what he recently seen me and his face looked a little lost after loosing 21 pounds from the 3 weeks he didnt see me. But im hurt, sad, and most of all confused but happy that ill soon be getting divorced fron a Narcissistic selfish a*****e.. stayed to long 15 years together and we didnt even make it 6 years married.. a man who cheats and blames you, doesn't compliment you, lies to you, because your a good woman and put him first at all times becomes selfish and they Doesn't deserve anymore of you. So im worth a whole lot more, and dealing and feeding into his ignorance im giving my time at a discounted price..no thank you been there and im not going backwards..so with this being said ..if i can love the wrong person..with all my soul..that way i did,have and still do in a sense, i can only imagine how much i can love the rightsens, when im OVER this one.. but for now the focus is this damn stall.

I never felt beautiful or sexy..well actually he never said it not once. I guess to him my weight was a problem that when he seen me he seen FAT.

I can never understand his way of thinking or what he really felt .

at times i felt loved but at times i didn't..I was the marriage..so before you listen to everyone on here ,only you know what your heart feels ,and what is really reciprocated through her.

Wish you the best..

Sent from my SM-G925P using the BariatricPal App

Edited by yguess

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Before surgery my husband expressed concerns about me "getting hott, and finding someone else"

Quite frankly, I am a rather blunt person, and I simply informed him a few times that if I planned on leaving him, being fat wouldn't stop me and I would have done it by now. He eventually stopped thinking that. But we have made other decisions in our lives that has helped our marriage.

I suppose I should make note that our gender roles are completely switched and he is the more sensitive and I am likely the worst person to get relationship advice from, as I tend to be a little no nonsense. Just sharing our experience.

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@Icantbelieveit. Its told him...... Well I loved you more when you use to f**k me more

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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