Total failure, but hoping to start again

[Basicwitch 7]

I have screwed up a lot since I got my band, namely gaining nearly all the weight I lost back. To be honest, I barely can tell I have the band and it doesn't restrict me much. I never got a fill as back when I was seeing my surgeon on a regular basis, she felt I was losing at a steady pace; however, I began to have problems about six months after the surgery and she dismissed my pain as gas. She is a very busy person, that's fine, and I don't blame her. The pain escalated until I was barely eating for fear of triggering a pain attack I thought came from gas. I was probably hovering around 400 calories a day and I never looked better...

Until the pain got really bad, lasting for 15+ hours at a time, and I ended up in the ER. It turns out my gallbladder needed to be removed. I was so relieved that I could finally eat after the removal that I just kept eating...and eating...and eating. Constant hunger + habitual emotional eating + new career + a husband who eats amazing things for work = essentially back to where I started.

Here I am, fat and considering myself a failure. I have gained and lost a lot of weight multiple times in my life, using willpower, a personal trainer, Phentermine and then the lap band. I am very lucky that I don't have any weight-related health issues, but as I get older I know that won't be true forever. I haven't seen my surgeon since January 2015, and I am too ashamed to go in and talk to her about the constant gaining. I've decided to go back to dieting on my own until I feel like maybe I can face her without being really anxious.

Has anyone failed after the band and come back on their own through diet and exercise? I'm not great at fitness but I'm going to try my best. Am I doomed? Do I just need a fill or even a revision to deal with not feeling restricted? Hunger? I am thinking about going for 900-1000 calories (less than 40g carbs, mostly protein) and working out about 5 days a week.

I'm eager to hear stories of a second try at weight loss after surgery...

[jaxmom 643]

Ahhhhhh the horrible feeling of dreading going in for a fill. I know the feeling and it's terrible. Your story is similar to mine- diet pills, trainer, a band. I had a band for 6 years with moderate success- until it broke. My surgeon was very reassuring and removed it and created a sleeve at same time. I couldn't be happier.

Have you considered having band removed and getting a sleeve? I ask because my doctors were very unhappy with bands and refused to put any more in, only remove them. They said overall they created problems (slipping, gerd etc) and not very impressed with weight loss overall.

It just sounds like you have been through so much and are still willing to fight for your health. Why not set yourself up for a better chance of success? WLS is NO magic cure I KNOW. It's work, mental and physical. However there are so many success stories out there as you can see on this website. I would love to see you part of them.

I sincerity wish you the very best. Big hug O.

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[Julie norton 2,850]

I hope you consider seeing your dr. They have seen it all. And they are paid by you.... Maybe a fill? It could be helpful.

Please do not be embarrassed by weight gain. It is a common refrain on these boards, and many people work through them.

Just know we all have good times and some not so good times.

Please reconsider another visit and fill. Your band has to work with you!

[Jmbdt 9]

You are not a failure! We've all been there and know how disheartening it is when we fall of the band wagon.

You're only human!!

Start a new page! Take the courage to go back and with the right support you'll get back there. You've been through a lot by the sound of it, no wonder you wanted to eat. Think most of us would have done the same! I know I probably would...

My surgeon told me to aim for between 800-1000 calories a day. So try that and go from there!

Good luck... You can do it.

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[Basicwitch 7]

Have you considered having band removed and getting a sleeve? I ask because my doctors were very unhappy with bands and refused to put any more in, only remove them. They said overall they created problems (slipping, gerd etc) and not very impressed with weight loss overall.

During my initial consultation, I wanted a sleeve. My family was very anti-sleeve because it is permanent. My doctor actually agreed, saying my health was fine and that I didn't need to lose so much weight that I would need a permanent surgery like the sleeve. When I saw my doctor last, I asked about revising to the sleeve as I have concerns about the band longterm. She said again that if I was having no problems, I did not need to revise. Maybe the weight gain since then would change her mind?

In the band's defense, despite not being great for actual weight loss, I did not experience many of the horrible complications I have read about online. My gallbladder actually had nothing to do with the band, but with years of extreme high protein/low carb dieting and quick weight loss. Still, I want to lose weight! Maybe I will see what she says. I don't really have time right now for a revision, but I want to be healthy and if that is what it takes...

I hope you consider seeing your dr. They have seen it all. And they are paid by you.... Maybe a fill? It could be helpful.

It is hard because she is so glamorous and I can really tell when she is disappointed. Well, I worked up the courage to reschedule the appointment I cancelled this week. I have one in a few weeks. Maybe by then I will have lost a couple pounds from restricting calories?

My surgeon told me to aim for between 800-1000 calories a day. So try that and go from there!

Yeah, that feels right to me! I am shooting for that as I find it difficult to meet Protein requirements (and be a pleasant, functioning human person) at 600-800. If I find that I'm not losing weight, I can restrict down.

[lisacaron 5,075]

@@Basicwitch I want to let you know that you are NOT alone. I have had many many health issues since being banded, and not because of the band in any way.

I have gained weight, and lost it again. Today I am back on track, and working my band and making my life healthier which was my goal all along.

I read some comments in your post that are very concerning to me.

The first was this: "I began to have problems about six months after the surgery and she dismissed my pain as gas. She is a very busy person, that's fine, and I don't blame her. "

YES I blame her. I don't care how busy your Dr. is she is NOT your friend she is there to make sure that you are well and healthy. You pay for this and you pay your insurance company to pay for her services. She is there to be of service to you!! She should have investigated and found out that you were having such a serious issue. It is not normal to be in such pain with the band, even from gas pains after surgery, they should only last a day or so.

The next comment that really concerns me is: Julie norton, on 19 May 2016 - 23:26, said:

I hope you consider seeing your dr. They have seen it all. And they are paid by you.... Maybe a fill? It could be helpful.

"It is hard because she is so glamorous and I can really tell when she is disappointed. Well, I worked up the courage to reschedule the appointment I cancelled this week. I have one in a few weeks. Maybe by then I will have lost a couple pounds from restricting calories?"

If she is so glamorous she does not need to be a doctor...she could be in movies or magazines. You my friend are doing yourself a disservice by thinking of your medical team in this way. Remember she is a person, just like you. No matter her size or stature physical appearance monetary wealth or education. She is a person, and should be a person who is in your corner and wants you to do well and not by shaming you but by lifting you up and letting you know that it's OK we are all human and we all make decisions from time to time that may not be the best.

My advice friend is keep your next appointment. In the time before then don't starve yourself this is NOT healthy. Instead go back to band basics. Go back on your pre-op, post op diet and work from there. Go to your appointment have your band checked out and if it's all in working order request a small fill and keep moving forward. Dr. Glamazon I'm sure is there for you, and wants to help you through this, be brave enough to reach out and if your are still intimidated see an associate maybe Dr. Hyde

Good luck and please let us know how you are doing.

[gowalking 10,790]

I use the same doctor's group as you though I see Dr. Ren-Fielding and not Dr. Kurian. Everyone in that office is pretty and slim...and almost all of them have had WLS. Did you know that? When I first saw Dr. Ren, I thought how could she possibly know what it's like to be fat? Turns out that she is one of the loveliest, and compassionate doctor's I've ever worked with. Yes, she's busy...they're all busy in that practice but don't worry about disappointing your doctor. Other posters are right....she is there to serve you, you are not there to be embarrassed. Good luck..maybe I'll see you in the waiting room one of these days...

[Basicwitch 7]

My advice friend is keep your next appointment. In the time before then don't starve yourself this is NOT healthy. Instead go back to band basics. Go back on your pre-op, post op diet and work from there. Go to your appointment have your band checked out and if it's all in working order request a small fill and keep moving forward. Dr. Glamazon I'm sure is there for you, and wants to help you through this, be brave enough to reach out and if your are still intimidated see an associate maybe Dr. Hyde

I use the same doctor's group as you though I see Dr. Ren-Fielding and not Dr. Kurian. Everyone in that office is pretty and slim...and almost all of them have had WLS. Did you know that? When I first saw Dr. Ren, I thought how could she possibly know what it's like to be fat? Turns out that she is one of the loveliest, and compassionate doctor's I've ever worked with. Yes, she's busy...they're all busy in that practice but don't worry about disappointing your doctor. Other posters are right....she is there to serve you, you are not there to be embarrassed. Good luck..maybe I'll see you in the waiting room one of these days...

Thanks for your kind encouragements! I made an appointment to see my surgeon in a couple weeks and I intend to keep the engagement.

The other good news is that for some reason, I was wrong about my weight! I was on a scale a month or so ago that said 250 (which seemed high in relation to my pant size...). Well, it must have been WAY off, because I had a physical this week and I'm right at 230. I was in such disbelief that I made the doctor take me to another scale to confirm. It's not perfect, but it is definitely nicer than the alternative.