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Did you tell people you were considering weight loss surgery?



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I told a very selects few pre op because I didn't want to hear people's opinions on the subject. I feel as though there is a major stigma around the topic and I didn't want to hear the stories people had to offer (good or bad). Now I love telling people.

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I told my parents and sisters as soon as I found out my insurance would cover it provided I did the 6 month supervised diet. They were the only ones I told and they've been my biggest support system. Other than them I know my mother has told most of her family but that doesn't really bother me because a lot of my aunts have also had weight loss surgery. I recently also starting seeing someone and I told him as well, he's happy for me and is considering the surgery himself. I'm a student and on summer break and don't have a job though so that makes it easier. When I go back to school in the fall I don't really plan on telling people unless they ask, I'm certainly not embarrassed by it I just don't think it's something I'm gonna walk around telling everyone under the sun about.

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On the opposite side.I have told everyone and I'm glad I don't care what people say...I just polity tell them it's my decision and it's my body....if is hard to find some supporters and I did find one person who supports me highly (my sister) she is even thinking of the surgery for herself too. I'm OK with hearing people's opinions but I won't tolerate negativity, it's already hard to deal with our own emotions with the surgery but you do what best for you. Think positive and stay away from the negativity. I wish you the best of luck. I'm scheduled to get my surgery on May 31....good luck to us all

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amen

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I'm at the very beginning of my journey, and only have an appointment with a surgeon so far.(June 1st) The only person I've talked to about it is my husband. He was surprisingly supportive. I'm not sure what I expected, I've just heard so many negative things over the years I thought he'd have the same response, but he didn't.

I know I will need to tell my mom. I will need her help with my kids, but I'm not looking forward to the talk. Her sister had weightless surgery about 10 years ago (Gastric Bypass), and my mom was not very supportive at the time.

Other than that, I feel like I will tell my siblings. My brother and my sister. Just because I tell them everything. I'm not sure how they will respond, but I feel like they will be supportive in the end.

The thing I struggle most with is my kids. Do I tell them? Is it possible to NOT tell them? My worry is this: They have big mouths. They could tell everyone we know, and I'm not ready for that. I'm also not sure they'd really understand and it would cause them worry. Has anyone NOT told their kids? How did it go? What did you tell them you were doing?

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i'm telling people. i am going to be losing a lot of weight in a short amount of time so i want it out there. i tell people i welcome any questions/concerns and don't mind chatting about it. so far so good! :)

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I told my husband, my sister, my best friend, and one other good friend when she decided to have WLS. I wanted her to know she had at least one person to support her. No plans to tell anyone else.

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So far, I've only told my parents, my psychiatrist, and my psychologist. The latter two were supportive from the start, my parents were VERY negative at first. Then just a couple days ago, my mother said, "I'm all in favor of you having this surgery this summer so you'll be able to keep up with your clinicals.

I'm *just* about to tell some of my closest friends, and I'm hoping that if they have initial negative reactions, they will come around in time.

At this point, after my close friends know, I suspect I will become open about the fact that I'm having/have had surgery. I'll be shrinking rapidly in front of my new classmates' eyes and buying increasingly smaller and smaller uniforms over the course of the next year. Given that it's nursing school, I'm guessing many people will put two and two together anyway and I might as well just say what it is I'm doing to lose weight. They'll be seeing me eat small portions and working out in the college gym, but also getting smaller much faster than someone who typically does those things sans surgery.

It helps that I'm already a bluntly honest person and identify as a left-wing feminist, things not everyone approves of, so I'm used to being judged and not giving a damn.

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I told everyone and even started a public Facebook page about my journey. The support and encouragement has been amazing.

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Other than my spouse (who will probably also have surgery eventually), the only people I plan on telling are my in-laws (because of my spouse) and my sister (who is currently enjoying her RNY).

Oh, and my sister will tell my mother, because my sister always tattles on me. ;-)

No one else is to know initially... though I will probably tell my four closest friends, since I know they'll be supportive. I definitely have friends I won't tell, simply because they are sabotaging type... "Look, I bought you expensive chocolate!" (even though I know you're on a strict diet!)

"When all is said and done, usually more has been said than done. "

Edited by Fredbear

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@@Tina4heath4ever my kids are too young in my option to understand. my boys are 9,7 and 1. My 9 year old ask me everyday "is this the day mommy?" LOL

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If people ask, I will tell them. I am not going to treat this as something shameful. And I hope that by being honest and open to people's questions. especially if they are obese or are worried about someone who is, that I will help them see this as a reasonable treatment for long struggles with morbid obesity.

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It's your journey. If you choose not to tell anyone that's fine. If you choose to tell everyone that's fine. My thought process is I'm doing this for me. I always think about other people and put everyone else first. This is my time to be selfish and take care of myself.

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    • LeighaTR

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      1. Selina333

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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