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ex husband frustration



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So today I told him that whether he was there or not I was coming by saturday with my dad's truck to get some things.

his answer......."well that fucks up my plans a bit"

my response..."well divorce fucked up my life a bit"

before I moved into my parents house I was out of work and he would always complain about the apartment not being spotless (he didn't seem to notice that I did all the grocery shopping, cooking, laundry, packed him a lunch every day, or that every day he came home to a hot dinner and a cold beer) his favorite phrase was "what do you do all day?"

well I was at the apartment last week and it looks like a tornado hit it!!

also funny story. Last month was my dad's birthday and I made a pie for dessert. My dad eats a bite and says "oh man, your husband is an idiot for leaving you" haha

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If he has a lawyer you need one too. Google and find a low cost legal aid in your area. The courts will force him to allow you access to your share of property.

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So today I told him that whether he was there or not I was coming by saturday with my dad's truck to get some things.

his answer......."well that fucks up my plans a bit"

my response..."well divorce fucked up my life a bit"

You go, girl!

Keep reminding yourself that his situation is no longer your circus, and no longer your monkeys.

And yeah, if he already has a lawyer, you'll need to get one too or they can pull some fast and loose stuff on you. Hopefully he'll realize that contesting things just makes it more expensive for himself too, and it won't cost you an arm and a leg. :)

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The separation of the cats is horrible. I had my solicitor draw up that he had to agree to half of all the medical bills for our cat.As long as my lovely cat needed attention medically I could not cover 100%. That was agreed to. I had to leave the house fully functionable until the house was sold. A solicitor may insist goods are left until the date the lease is up. I made a list of what to take immediately and what I wanted later. I also explained the law would force him to give me half of the belongings. He ran out of steam fast. We sat down and agreed on what he would need and what I would need. My x threatened to burn down the house with me and the cat in it. He was nasty, but now it is different. We talk once in a while.There is no longer a hold of power over me. Every day I sat with no carpet and boxed up stuff in a tiny flat, but I was free. I binged a few times throughout the ordeal. Thankfully I got the band. It gave me a lifeline. I came out the other end sane and able to rebuild slowly. I wish you every good thing for your future. You sound stronger. Well done.

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I actually feel bad for the cats. We had three cats and I was out of work so I was home all day. Then our older cat died, and I moved out and took one of the cats, then got a job. So each of our cats is suddenly completely alone. If I had moved into my own apartment instead of my parents house I would probably have gotten another cat to keep her company.

and see my avatar? He kept the white one I kept the black one

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while your getting your stuff, take the other cat. It's the right thing to do===keep them together.

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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