Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

ex husband frustration



Recommended Posts

So today I told him that whether he was there or not I was coming by saturday with my dad's truck to get some things.

his answer......."well that fucks up my plans a bit"

my response..."well divorce fucked up my life a bit"

before I moved into my parents house I was out of work and he would always complain about the apartment not being spotless (he didn't seem to notice that I did all the grocery shopping, cooking, laundry, packed him a lunch every day, or that every day he came home to a hot dinner and a cold beer) his favorite phrase was "what do you do all day?"

well I was at the apartment last week and it looks like a tornado hit it!!

also funny story. Last month was my dad's birthday and I made a pie for dessert. My dad eats a bite and says "oh man, your husband is an idiot for leaving you" haha

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If he has a lawyer you need one too. Google and find a low cost legal aid in your area. The courts will force him to allow you access to your share of property.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So today I told him that whether he was there or not I was coming by saturday with my dad's truck to get some things.

his answer......."well that fucks up my plans a bit"

my response..."well divorce fucked up my life a bit"

You go, girl!

Keep reminding yourself that his situation is no longer your circus, and no longer your monkeys.

And yeah, if he already has a lawyer, you'll need to get one too or they can pull some fast and loose stuff on you. Hopefully he'll realize that contesting things just makes it more expensive for himself too, and it won't cost you an arm and a leg. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The separation of the cats is horrible. I had my solicitor draw up that he had to agree to half of all the medical bills for our cat.As long as my lovely cat needed attention medically I could not cover 100%. That was agreed to. I had to leave the house fully functionable until the house was sold. A solicitor may insist goods are left until the date the lease is up. I made a list of what to take immediately and what I wanted later. I also explained the law would force him to give me half of the belongings. He ran out of steam fast. We sat down and agreed on what he would need and what I would need. My x threatened to burn down the house with me and the cat in it. He was nasty, but now it is different. We talk once in a while.There is no longer a hold of power over me. Every day I sat with no carpet and boxed up stuff in a tiny flat, but I was free. I binged a few times throughout the ordeal. Thankfully I got the band. It gave me a lifeline. I came out the other end sane and able to rebuild slowly. I wish you every good thing for your future. You sound stronger. Well done.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I actually feel bad for the cats. We had three cats and I was out of work so I was home all day. Then our older cat died, and I moved out and took one of the cats, then got a job. So each of our cats is suddenly completely alone. If I had moved into my own apartment instead of my parents house I would probably have gotten another cat to keep her company.

and see my avatar? He kept the white one I kept the black one

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

while your getting your stuff, take the other cat. It's the right thing to do===keep them together.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Prdgrdma

      So I guess after gastric bypass surgery, I cant eat flock chips because they are fried???  They sell them on here so I thought I could have them. So high in protein and no carbs.  They don't bother me at all.  Help. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        It's possible for a very high fat meal to cause dumping in some (30% or so) gastric bypass patients, although it's more likely to be triggered by high sugar, or by the high fat/high sugar combo (think ice cream, donuts). Dietitians will tell you to never do anything that isn't 100% healthy ever again. Realistically, you should aim for a good balance of protein, carbs, and fat each day. Should you eat fried foods every day? No. Is it possible they will make you sick? Maybe. Is it okay to eat some to see what happens and have them for a treat every now and again? Yes.

    • NovelTee

      I'm not at all hungry on this liquid pre-op diet, but I miss the sensation of chewing. It's been about two weeks––surgery is in two days––and I can't imagine how I'll feel a couple of weeks post-op. Tonight, I randomly stumbled upon a mukbang channel on YouTube, and it was strangely soothing... is it just me, or is this a thing? 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        I actually watched cooking shows during my pre-op, like Great British Baking Show. It was a little bizarre, but didn't make me hungry. I think it was also soothing in a way.

    • Clueless_girl

      How do you figure out what your ideal weight should be? I've had a figure in my head for years, but after 3 mths of recovery I'm already almost there. So maybe my goal should be lower?
      · 2 replies
      1. NickelChip

        Well, there is actually a formula for "Ideal Body Weight" and you can use a calculator to figure it out for you. This one also does an adjusted weight for a person who starts out overweight or obese. https://www.mdcalc.com/calc/68/ideal-body-weight-adjusted-body-weight

        I would use that as a starting point, and then just see how you feel as you lose. How you look and feel is more important than a number.

      2. Clueless_girl

        I did find different calculators but I couldn't find any that accounted for body frame. But you're right, it is just a number. It was just disheartening to see that although I lost 60% of my excess weight, it's still not in the "normal/healthy" range..

    • Aunty Mamo

      Tomorrow marks two weeks since surgery day and while I'm feeling remarkably well and going about just about every normal activity, I did wind up with a surface abscess on on of my incision sights and was put on an antibiotic that made me so impacted that it took me more than two hours to eliminate yesterday and scared the hell out of me. Now there's Miralax in all my beverages that aren't Smooth Move tea. I cannot experience that again. I shouldn't have to take Ativan to go to the lady's. I really looking forward to my body getting with the program again. 
      I'm in day three of the "puree" stage of eating and despite the strange textures, all of the savory flavors seem decadent. 
      I timed this surgery so that I'd be recovering during my spring break. That was a good plan. Today is a state holiday and the final day of break. I feel really strong to return to school tomorrow. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Now that I'm in maintenance mode, I'm getting a into a routine for my meals. Every day, I start out with 8-16 ounces of water, and then a proffee, which I have come to look forward to even the night before. My proffees are simply a black coffee with a protein powder added. There are three products that I cycle through: Premier Vanilla, Orgain Vanilla, and Dymatize Vanilla.
      For second breakfast on workdays, I will have a low-fat yogurt with two tablespoons of PBFit and two teaspoons of no sugar added dried cherries. I will have ingested 35-45 grams of protein at this point between the two breakfasts, with 250-285 calories, and about 20 carbs.
      For second breakfast on non-workdays, I will prepare two servings of plain, instant oatmeal with a tablespoon of an olive oil-based spread. This means I will have had 34 grams of protein, 365 calories, and 38 carbs. Non-workdays are when I am being very active with training sessions, so I allow myself more carbohydrate fuel.
      Snacks on any day are always mixed nuts, even when I am travelling. I will have 0.2 cups of a blend that I make myself. It consists of dry roasted peanuts, cashews, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, pistachios, and Brazil nuts. This is 5 grams of protein, 163 calories, and 7 carbs.
      Breakfast and snacks have been the easiest to nail down. Lunch and dinner have more variables, and I prepare enough for leftovers. I concentrate on protein first, and then add vegetables. Typically tempeh, tofu, or Field Roast products with roasted or sautéed vegetables. Today, I will be eating leftovers from last night. Two ounces of tempeh with four ounces of roasted vegetables that consist of red and yellow sweet peppers, sweet potatoes, small purple potatoes, zucchini, and carrots. I will add a tablespoon of olive oil-based spread, break up 3 walnuts to sprinkle of top, and garnish with two tablespoons of grated Parmesan cheese. This particular meal will be 19 grams of protein, 377 calories, and 28 grams of carbs. Bear in mind that I do eat more carbs when I am not working, and I focus on ingesting healthy carbs instead of breads/crackers/chips/crisps.
      It's a helluva journey and I'm thankful to be on it!
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×