I am excited to finally take family pictures! My eldest is 13 and although all the kids (3) have taken portraits together, and alone we don't have one with me and their father in it.

This popped in my head today and I've been smiling another thing to jot down on my list of reasons why to do this and stay committed!

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Leaving my house. My situation is complicated by a chronic illness, but even without the progressive disease (AS), I have felt so self-conscious.

When I was working (I'm on sick leave now), I hated getting "elevator eyes" from my colleagues--you know, the quick, but not-so-subtle looks up and down that make you want to sink into the floor.

I went to get a mammogram and was nearly turned away because the employee was certain I was pregnant.

I used to hide--even from my husband--because I was so embarrassed. Baggy clothes, pillow in front of my belly when I sat on the sofa, the whole bit.

Thank goodness for the therapy I got before the surgery. I was able to go into it with more confidence and more self-respect. And it keeps getting better. I'm already going more places with my son. I'm even looking forward to going back to work. I've been on sick leave for my AS since January, so I've really been a hermit.

Most importantly, I'm looking forward to living a longer, happier life (I hope!).

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Clothes shopping! I dream about clothes shopping. Jogging and doing a 5k and other group runs. Going to the gym and not feeling self-conscious. Taking lots of family pictures and participating in family fun like bike rides, swimming and skiing. Fitting into a normal airplane seat and not having my arms jousled because they no longer extend out into the aisle and having the seat belt and tray fit comfortably. And walking up and down stairs normally.

I honestly cannot wait for the feeling when people look at me knowing they are not looking at me because I am fat. I have got the comment "but you have such a pretty face." for my ENTIRE life. I am OVER that FOREVER. I am looking forward to people looking at me knowing they are looking at me for any other reason. Being able to shop in places other than Torrid (even though they have great plus size clothes for younger people - but way overpriced).

I am looking forward to amusements parks, not being made fun of by family (whether jokingly or maliciously), being out at a bar and getting hit on, people being nicer to me! (2 weeks post op I already had a man give up his seat for me on the train), getting smiles from random strangers instead of gawking stares, not like this would happen now - but being able to eat "unhealthy" food without someone saying "are you sure you should be eating that", not being worried if I can fit in a seat on the train ( I live in NYC), and the looks people give me when I spill over into the other seat.

I am just looking forward to being treated like a "normal" individual not like some menace to society, and above all of this other nonsense I am looking forward to finally being happy AND healthy for life. Rant over

Edited April 7, 201610 yr by giggles715

. not being worried if I can fit in a seat on the train ( I live in NYC), and the looks people give me when I spill over into the other seat.

I am just looking forward to being treated like a "normal" individual not like some menace to society, and above all of this other nonsense I am looking forward to finally being happy AND healthy for life. Rant over

@miss_smiles Work in NYC and I hear ya about the subway. Can't wait until I dont spill over into the next seat...seeing someone searching for a seat yet choose to stand instead of sitting next to me for fear of my fat touching them...look forward to when running up the stairs to catch the M train is not a big deal., not turning sideways to get through the turnstile...

Edited April 11, 201610 yr by Killian

I traveled through Europe as a young woman with a BMI of 60. I couldn't fit into anything, was exhausted trying to walk around, was in so much pain because 5+ miles a day was hell on my feet, felt incredibly out of place, got stared and giggled at, and was likely the most obese person many of them had ever seen (I saw no one my size in the streets of Belgium and France).

I go back to Europe for four months this fall/winter, and I'm excited to finally experience it as a happy, healthy, normal-sized person.

Oh! And theme parks. I live in the theme park capitol of the world, and I've never gotten to enjoy most rides because of my weight.

I'm looking forward to no longer putting my life on hold. I don't date, I don't got to meetup groups, I don't go to reunions or get-togethers with old classmates. All because I'm mortified about my weight.

Why yes, I am seeing a shrink in the meantime.

A very creative sex life

A very creative sex life

Nice Very nice

I'm looking forward to being able to look in a mirror and not feel disgusted at what I've done to my body I'm ready to not be the sweet but chubby girl I'm looking forward to being able to lay on my side without aching hips I'm looking forward to being able to breathe and just enjoy life

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In looking forward to loving myself and body. I look forward to being more confident, being able to jog/run. Going to the amusement park and not being scared to know the belt won't fit. Being able to go through a turnstile. Going up the stairs and not breathing heavily. Being able to stand on my feet for a long period of time. Ah!! NO more pain!! Wearing anything I want. Not buying clothes 2 size to big to hide lumps. Loving the gym again. Jumping rope. Going on walks. Just being in control of my life again!!

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I am looking forward to participating in my office's softball league.