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Go ahead and cry and wail. Kick something--just not the dog. Cry some more. You deserve a good cry. You've earned it. I believe a good cry helps to cleanse the soul and refresh one's spirit.

After you have cried until you have no more tears, try to "refocus". Now is YOUR time. Time just for YOU. Consider this time of solitude to be a gift to yourself, from yourself, love yourself.

After surgery, when you are living your new life, maybe you and your husband can work things out, but now is not the time to stress yourself with HIS issues.--and I'm feeling he has plenty. Now is your time to concentrate on YOU!

Never said this path of WLS will be easy. I'm just saying that it is sooooooo worth it.

Your on my prayer chain now. There are prayers surrounding you from folks you don't even know. Those prayers will keep you safe hopefully from anti-healthy thoughts and worries.

Please, post often and let us know how you are doing and feeling. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. --not as long as we are here.

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thanks guys! i feel very sad! but i have to stay strong for me, for my son and my daughter. surgery 02/23 a new chapter in my life. ????

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Go ahead and cry and wail. Kick something--just not the dog. Cry some more. You deserve a good cry. You've earned it. I believe a good cry helps to cleanse the soul and refresh one's spirit.

After you have cried until you have no more tears, try to "refocus". Now is YOUR time. Time just for YOU. Consider this time of solitude to be a gift to yourself, from yourself, love yourself.

After surgery, when you are living your new life, maybe you and your husband can work things out, but now is not the time to stress yourself with HIS issues.--and I'm feeling he has plenty. Now is your time to concentrate on YOU!

Never said this path of WLS will be easy. I'm just saying that it is sooooooo worth it.

Your on my prayer chain now. There are prayers surrounding you from folks you don't even know. Those prayers will keep you safe hopefully from anti-healthy thoughts and worries.

Please, post often and let us know how you are doing and feeling. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. --not as long as we are here.

thank u so much ❤️

Go ahead and cry and wail. Kick something--just not the dog. Cry some more. You deserve a good cry. You've earned it. I believe a good cry helps to cleanse the soul and refresh one's spirit.

After you have cried until you have no more tears, try to "refocus". Now is YOUR time. Time just for YOU. Consider this time of solitude to be a gift to yourself, from yourself, love yourself.

After surgery, when you are living your new life, maybe you and your husband can work things out, but now is not the time to stress yourself with HIS issues.--and I'm feeling he has plenty. Now is your time to concentrate on YOU!

Never said this path of WLS will be easy. I'm just saying that it is sooooooo worth it.

Your on my prayer chain now. There are prayers surrounding you from folks you don't even know. Those prayers will keep you safe hopefully from anti-healthy thoughts and worries.

Please, post often and let us know how you are doing and feeling. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. --not as long as we are here.

thank you ❤️

thank you ladies, but he said he doesnt need couseling. he is just shutting all the doors on me. i told him my body will change but not my heart. but he doesnt care. in the beginning he was supportive about my decision but after eveything changed. im doing everything on my own not even once did he go with me to any of my appointments. im on my 2 week pre-op liquid diet and he eats in front of me and even jokes about the Protein shakes i have to drink. its so hurtful. and today he decided to leave me. he said he is too old and that he is not going to wait the moment i loose weight and leave him thats all he said. he is 40 and im 32 he always making a big deal about the age. saying that ill look for somebody younger. i just dont understand whats wrong with him.

What an insecure selfish prick move that was.

So.......surgery to improve your health was all it took to run him off ?????

He's got tons of issues that will take years that work through....... And if he is even man enough at some point to work through them.

Have the surgery and improve every aspect of your life that you can. You'll find a real man who is unselfish and values you and your choices.

If he's younger.......then all the better.

Get revenge through getting healthy and living each day to the fullest.

thank you ????

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Love and prayers to all of you.

thanks guys! i feel very sad! but i have to stay strong for me, for my son and my daughter. surgery 02/23 a new chapter in my life.

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thanks guys! i feel very sad! but i have to stay strong for me, for my son and my daughter. surgery 02/23 a new chapter in my life. ????

Wow what a jerk..... He doing this and there are kids involved? What selfish self absorbed a$$! Prayers to give you strength to get through.

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What an a$$hat! I cannot believe someone would do this! I am so terribly sorry! Sounds like he has some serious issues and insecurities and neither of those allow him to treat you that way. Are you seeing a therapist on your own in preparation of your surgery (and post-op if you can)? If so, call them. I am sure they can find a way to squeeze you in if even just a phone call.

I know you don't need solutions right now; just sympathy. I'm sorry. I tend to be fixer. I'm with @Valentina. Kick, scream, etc. (when you are out of hearing range of your children of course.) HUGS!!

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thanks guys! i feel very sad! but i have to stay strong for me, for my son and my daughter. surgery 02/23 a new chapter in my life. ????

Wow what a jerk..... He doing this and there are kids involved? What selfish self absorbed a$$! Prayers to give you strength to get through.
i dont think he would care much about my kids. he is not the father or my children but he has been in there lifes for 5 years and my kids love him. but if he doesnt care about me then he doesnt care about my children. ???? thank u for your prayers ????????

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What an a$$hat! I cannot believe someone would do this! I am so terribly sorry! Sounds like he has some serious issues and insecurities and neither of those allow him to treat you that way. Are you seeing a therapist on your own in preparation of your surgery (and post-op if you can)? If so, call them. I am sure they can find a way to squeeze you in if even just a phone call.

I know you don't need solutions right now; just sympathy. I'm sorry. I tend to be fixer. I'm with @Valentina. Kick, scream, etc. (when you are out of hearing range of your children of course.) HUGS!!

thank you! right now i feel numb. i dont know how to feel. i dont know if i should cry i dont know im just in shock i didnt expect this will happen

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So sorry to hear that. I hope you are able to process this and put it away so that you can focus on your surgery. This surgery is mentally as well as physically taxing. You'll need all the strength you can get to make it through successfully.

If you can handle all you need to handle as far as getting situated in your surroundings in the next few days and preparing your support system for your surgery, I think you should. And then focus on the surgery and your new future.

Again, I'm so sorry that you are dealing with this. I wish you the best and hopefully you heal from this soon.

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This may sound cruel but....BYE! Seriously if he's going to leave you at a time like this over the assumption that you "might leave him later" he's too weak for you. What if you get cancer, a terminal illness, lose a leg, hell a finger?! If he's feeling froggy tell him to jump!! Bygones! You're going to need a strong support system and he's obviously not it. Through sickness and in health. He broke his promise now you focus on you! If he truly loves you he'll be back and he can hope you'll even want him. You find out real quick who's there for you in your times of need and who isn't shit....its a good thing really. You may not think that now but give it time, you'll see the light!

Now........

post-237766-0-21044200-1455376324_thumb.jpeg

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Preach it sister! @@Elode - That is the best answer so far!

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I am so sorry to read this, I can't even imagine how sad you and your children must be. The fact that he made FUN of you while you are trying to better yourself however says a lot about him, his insecurities, and how he would sabotage you. It seems you might have an easier time going through the changes, both physical and emotional, that happen around surgery and the first few months without him around actually.

If you have friends and family that are supportive please reach out to them and let them know just how much their help, support, and compassion are needed right now. If they offer to come and help or just come and give you a hug, let them. Best of luck to you. Here is to you getting super hot and moving on to bigger and better things!

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So sorry to hear that. I hope you are able to process this and put it away so that you can focus on your surgery. This surgery is mentally as well as physically taxing. You'll need all the strength you can get to make it through successfully.

If you can handle all you need to handle as far as getting situated in your surroundings in the next few days and preparing your support system for your surgery, I think you should. And then focus on the surgery and your new future.

Again, I'm so sorry that you are dealing with this. I wish you the best and hopefully you heal from this soon.

thank you

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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