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Fat Acceptance Movement - how do you feel?



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I agree. It was great with my regular doctor when I lost the initial weight. But now that I have put on a few lbs back, its all about the numbers, you really have to watch that weight. Are you working out/ Did I not tell you that I work out 3-5 times a week including weekends? Did I not tell you that my family has a history of diabetes, high blood pressure and heart disease? Oh and cholesterol. Is it not bad enough that I stress myself out, that I need to hear your two cents? I agree that many doctors look at weight as being the main factor of illness, when sometimes genetically we are screwed anyways.I know sometimes I feel I looker than I am, because of the loose skin I've accumulated. Today's society is stuck on skinny as being healthy. NOT SO!

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I went to Dr to complain about a rash. Dr said it was weight related, gave me nothing. Went to a dermatologist, got a cream and it was gone in a week. After months of suffering.

Too many doctors see fat and stop caring.

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I'm not into fat acceptance. I am into body acceptance. I think there's a difference. Everyone has the right to feel comfortable in there own skin. That's the end point for me. I'm not a doctor and I don't play one on the internet. I am a fat gal who has experienced doctor's ignoring underlying health issues as a result of my weight. What I do know for certain is that loving myself as a fat gal helped me decide to change my eating habits, exercise and eventually seek WLS.

totally agree with loving yourself leading to success...no shade to some on here, but i read some talking about hating their "former" selves...that's still your body that's worthy of dignity and respect. losing weight doesn't solve that hatred...loving yourself does.

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deleted double post

Edited by nieuwevis

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This is a great topic. I am someone who gastric bypass didn't help lose more than less than 40 pounds.

When I was in high school I weighed about 130. I thought I was "so fat" and I wore two bras to squish my ladylike breasts.

I'm much heavier now and I still feel the same way about my body so I know that it is entirely psychological for me. (probably body dysmorphic disorder.)

I follow the body positive movement on Facebook and I love all these smart and vivacious women. I have tried so hard to change my perception of heavy bodies as being unattractive. (Mostly my own.) I find this dichotomy so stressful on me. I want to hurrah for body acceptance but find myself still feeling the same societal burden on my fat self.

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If we only knew in high school.....

That 5 or 10 extra lbs can be just the way you are built

And the yoyo dieting is gonna take us away from our normal meant-to-be size

Or that some of the "pretty" people were also kinda stupid.

Or some of the "nerdy" people were so smart, and would go on to success.

Or that high school would be such a small portion of our life.

IMHO

I do like the "love yourself" notion....

For me, it wasHard to love a body that I didn't like

Life is better at a healthier weight for me

And I like myself more[emoji171]

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For the record ...

I did NOT like my body or a lot of other things about myself when I was fat.

I didn't accept my body when I was fat. That wasn't the body I was meant to have.

I had trouble walking, I was agoraphobic, I was embarrassed, I was not happy.

Frankly, the whole situation sucked.

And, frankly, my unhappiness with my body and that situation motivated me mightily to learn about WLS and, eventually, decide it was a solution that might work for me.

I like everything about my body and myself and my life a WHOLE LOT MORE when I'm not fat.

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I love the fat acceptance movement! I remember that as I was psychologically and spiritually preparing for my sleeve surgery, going through a period of Feeling very angry that I had to have the surgery in order to learn to love my body, love myself. I became very keenly aware that I had been withholding love for myself because I didn't think I had a body that deserved love. This was not an intellectual thought, but a block inside of me.

I didn't know how to love a fat body. I had been tortured and tormented my whole childhood for having a fat body. I was told by supposedly well-meaning family members horror stories about little girls who stomachs exploded, Lectured to eat more strawberries and less candy, and offered giant slices of cake when I felt sad.

I can't help but wonder, how my life might've played out differently, if as a chubby little girl I was excepted as I had been, and not constantly told that it was not OK to be who and what I was. I wonder if I even really would've had a weight problem at all as I got older, if I had been allowed to be what I was without being made to feel that I was less than everybody else everywhere I went.

By the time I was in third grade, it was very obvious to me that my fat body was not acceptable. By the time I was in fifth and sixth grade, I knew that my fat body made me unacceptable. And by the time I needed surgery, I knew it was because I had been stuck in this loop for 30 years, and I had internalized all the hatred other people had for my body. And I needed a whole lot more weight to separate my "self" from the hatred.

The fat acceptance movement, is really about body positivity. It's about recognizing that there are many kinds of bodies, and none of them are innately bad wrong or ugly.

As a public, we are extremely misinformed and poorly educated about fat, diet, body, and overall health. Our doctors in our surgeons are themselves severely miseducated, on the effect of lifestyle and diet not on just one kind of body but all bodies.

The fat acceptance movement wants fat people to be comfortable in our culture. It wants fat bodies to be accommodated like other kinds of bodies are accommodated. It wants recognition that a fat body is not automatically an on healthy body despite the mythology of our culture. And at the end of the day, the fat acceptance movement is asking that fat bodies be allowed to exist without shame blame and ridicule.

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Everyone deserves to be treated like everyone else, with respect, regardless of their size but at the same time we've become so over sensitive to the word "fat" and "obese" that if anyone calls us that anyone who calls us it even with good intentions in their heart, we feel offended. My doctor has told me I'm obese and need to lose weight for my health and never once have a been offended however is someone was to call me a fatty or make fun of me I'd be very hurt. The line is very very thin.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

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Oh how I love this thread! I don't agree with everyone, but how boring would it be if we all agreed on everything?

I HATE the term "Fat Acceptance". I refuse to participate in that. I've been part of numerous conversations with various groups of people, and those who have adopted the "I'm FAT - get over it!" attitude. Fat is a label, but it is far more than just a descriptive like having blonde hair or long legs or blue eyes. It is NOT the same, at least not to me. I refuse to embrace something that is universally accepted as derogatory.

Now, talk to me about Body Acceptance, and I'm all over that. I have been a part of that movement, and it did me far more good than chasing after that imaginary perfect workout regime or fad diet. It validated for me that it's ok to be imperfect and to take pride in how I look. I've always been a hair and makeup girl, but that was really based on the idea that if my hair was fabulous and my green eyes were glowing, maybe they wouldn't notice or care that I was 100 lbs overweight. I realized that it is ok to just love myself in the moment, and do the best I can with what I have, and to never look away from the people I caught staring at my stomach. I can now catch their eye and give them a big friendly smile, and most times, they smile back. I hope that they remember my smile and not my big fat droopy belly.

I have also had countless debates with people on social media and in person about the fat is unhealthy topic. I have never had any weight related illnesses, and I'm 52 years old. No Hypertension, no high cholesterol, nothing. Perfect labs every year. My doctor has told me I am healthier than she is many times. So yeah, I'm not going to jump on that bandwagon and toss statistics around like I'm an expert on obesity related conditions. Of course I KNOW that they exist, I work in healthcare and I see it all the time. However, being fat is not always a precursor to dropping dead of a heart attack or stoke.

These days, my hips and back cause me pain. This is not caused by my weight, it is caused by arthritis and the natural aging process. I'm hoping that my weight loss will alleviate some of that, and it's part of the reason I had surgery. I also need to get my ass out of this big boy office chair and move around more. I'm working on that.

I've followed a lot of Plus Size bloggers and models, and of course I don't agree with some of the crazy things they say, but most of them are realistic about their issues and know that eventually, being overweight is going to take its toll. But for now, they are loving themselves in the moment and enjoying the fact that there are millions of people who consider them beautiful and deserving of the attention they are getting. I was reading one of my favorite bloggers pages yesterday and it linked me to a recent discussion about the use of the term "Plus Size". One designer's comments really moved me:

"I remember the ballet instructor telling me that I would never be small enough to be a ballerina and even if I was, It would kill me to force my body to be something it never wanted to be. That was the first time in my life I ever felt ugly and ashamed of my figure, I think I was 8 yrs old. I remember crying to my Grandmother that I needed to tape my breasts down and get my body thinner so I could be a ballerina. My grandmother said, ‘Girl, these big bones and full bodies are the strength of the women in this family; they were passed down to you in your blood.’ She told me the story of my body. She talked about how I had her mother’s eyes, her sister’s broad shoulders, her cousin’s hips, and the breasts of every woman in the family. Something about that talk made me so proud that I was connected in this unique way with the women in my family."

THAT is the message that I get from these "movements". We need to be encouraged to love ourselves and do our best. If your best is having WLS and getting healthy, then that is awesome. I think that if we are having surgery in order to love ourselves, we are going to find that being overweight wasn't really the problem to begin with. I loved myself just as much as when I weighed 327 lbs as I do now. It took me a while to figure that out, but I am glad that I did, and I have a huge appreciation and admiration for these Plus Size women who have taken on the fight to be accepted as they are, in all their big fat awesomeness.

Here's the link to that article, if anyone is interested.

http://www.plus-model-mag.com/2016/04/keeptheplus-keep-using-term-plus-size/

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My best friend is ... fat, and he can't accept that. Additionally, our roommates (we live in the same student dormitory) are bullying him, and I have no idea how to help him overcome this difficult period in his life since being bullied is a seriously affecting problem.

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On 10/26/2022 at 11:05, AllenKnight said:



My best friend is ... fat, and he can't accept that. Additionally, our roommates (we live in the same student dormitory) are bullying him, and I have no idea how to help him overcome this difficult period in his life since being bullied is a seriously affecting problem.


This is an RA get involved moment. Get the building supervisor or other higher Student Life folks to step in to help you help your picked upon roommate. Covid screwed up a ton of young people’s lives and everyone is a bit raw and new. I’m very concerned about your “fat” roommate and his possible depression and or thoughts (suicidal). Other than calling in help from trained older school staff (please do ASAP) you can stand up for him by just telling the others “that’s enough.” Interrupt the teasing. Your kind roommate needs to know he’s got an ally!

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Other people have articulated very well. I think there are different parts of the "fat movement" that get balled up into the acceptance piece.

I like that there are more bigger bodies out there doing "regular things" like yoga, cooking, running, kayaking, dancing, living... and it's not as shocking as it may have been years before. I think that's important, especially for those people whose body is happier at a larger weight. Not everyone wants surgery or wants to starve themselves to a calorie deficit to be "thinner" when they feel good at the weight they are at. And some of them are at 200+ pounds. I think that's important to recognize.

I'm not sure any human, unless super tall can be truly "healthy" at 400 pounds, though. But they shouldn't be barred or shunned from life because they are that weight. But, they should not be lied to by a doctor. I'll be honest, though, sometimes I question the amount of medical complications blamed on obesity as a whole just because it's easier to assign blame to.

I've been relatively healthy as a bigger girl (especially when I was younger). I'm still able to do cartwheels at almost 50 and close to 300 pounds. I can understand how some people are happy with more padding - or don't care. But my weight is catching up to me, and I want more freedom in my own body.

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I am wondering about reading this here since my university professor of philosophy has said nearly the same this week. It is not about acceptance of being fat but about accepting being yourself, no matter what makes you different from others. And this idea encourages me indeed to cope easier with bullying and harsh words. Additionally, https://studyhippo.com/essay-examples/bullying/ helps in the struggle with bullying at the school or university and supports the self-acceptance process. So, Allen, it could help your best friend and offer good essay examples of motivation and support.

Edited by KarenHoule

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Every body is different, and everybody is different. My perception of the fat acceptance movement is that it's up to the individual to dictate what size they are comfortable at, and no one else's. I support this sentiment.

This may be an unpopular take, but I don't think that the rules that we apply to classify one person as "overweight" and one person as "normal" are universal. While I do think when we start talking about people who are 100, 200 pounds overweight, there's likely health issues involved, but someone who's 50 pounds overweight may have NO health issues relating to their weight, may be physically active, and can be happy at that size...but that same person is probably getting a lot of crap from their doctor about it, or their family, or their "friends". Some people have bigger frames than others, some people have a lot of muscle. The number for "I feel good and I feel good about myself" may be higher than the one-size-fits-all BMI scale says it "should" be.

I didn't realize when I was heavier how small of a frame I was hiding under all the weight I was carrying, and I have reached a "normal" BMI. But by the time I had reached "overweight" status, my blood pressure and cholesterol had returned to normal and my sleep apnea disappeared. I don't think the person I was six months ago deserved to be treated like a freak of nature by doctors OR the general public, but she was.

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