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So I am feeling great about myself. Working out hard, eating what I am supposed to, no cheating, and thinking I am looking good after 3 months post op and down 50 lbs since surgery

AND THEN...... I just got back from a wake and my husband and I ran into someone and the first comments out of her mouth to my husband she says "You look great!" To Me "Gee you're fat!" REALLY????!!!! That is not okay.

I am not a mean person, I just do not have it in me but I wanted to say "Ya, I'm fat but you're ugly inside and out and I am losing weight! What are you going to do?" But I didn't.

I have not wanted to cry in a long time and I feel like I was kicked in the stomach. Why are people so mean and say things like that?

My husband says to let it go and ignore her and I am trying but darn it that hurt! Like I don't know I am fat!

I will overcome this but I'm mad! :angry: :angry: :angry: :angry:

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That just reflects on HER. She is obviously lacking tact, manners, common sense, etc.... I wouldn't let a rude comment from a stupid person phase me. Truly, shake it off and let it go.

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People like that are telling you who you are. They are telling you who they are. Hubby didn't defend you???????

Besides, my father-in-law used to say, "Most people are no darn good!"

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@@usedtobeaskater

I can relate

Why is it that being overweight so unacceptable for people? Other people (not all) feel the need to place overweight people on the lowest rung of the hierarchy.

I’m trying to reconcile this crap with my old self.

I'm working on letting go of the bullied kid inside, The disregarded/disrespected obese body I once had, My negative self image and the judgment of my body mirrored to me by the world around me. (yes..I'm in therapy)

Old thoughts like this cross my mind once in a while. Still working out this stuff at a year and a half out. .

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@@usedtobeaskater - I'm reminded of Lady Ester (tea totaler) and Winston Churchill...

Lady Ester - Winston, you are drunk

Winston - And you Lady Estor are ugly, however in the morning, I'll be sober

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I have a sister-in-law who does things like that. It's not even personal. She literally has no filter.

Nobody pays any attention to her.

You need to ignore that person. Don't let her jack you up. She's just a hot mess.

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Throat punch.

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OK, so here's the plan:

On a dark and starless night, in a deserted pasture, your hubby jumps her from behind and binds her arms behind her.

Next you and I hang her from a tree until she is ALMOST dead. We cut her down just before she takes her last breath. Now comes the good part---we cut her from gullet to groin, pour oil into her innards and set her on fire!!! The best part: We tie each of her limbs to a different horse and drive the horses forward. We leave your hubby to clean up while we go have a drink.

Feel better? :)

Of course that is all nonsense, but if it sounds ridiculous to you, then what she said is just as ridiculous. That woman must have some god awful demons within.

Whenever someone hurts me as she did you, I say to them, "I'll pray for you". That's it. Nothing more. It gets the point across and really sinks in.

Every situation needs a hero. Let it be YOU. Rise above the nonsense and you'll be surprised just how wonderful you will feel. You'll walk away with your head held high and a smile on your face.

Try it. You'll like it! :)

Valentina

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The moment she said that your husband should have immediately discontinued the conversation with this other woman after telling her he doesn't tolerate anyone disrespecting his wife, especially since he's aware you're not confrontational.

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OK, so here's the plan:

On a dark and starless night, in a deserted pasture, your hubby jumps her from behind and binds her arms behind her.

Next you and I hang her from a tree until she is ALMOST dead. We cut her down just before she takes her last breath. Now comes the good part---we cut her from gullet to groin, pour oil into her innards and set her on fire!!! The best part: We tie each of her limbs to a different horse and drive the horses forward. We leave your hubby to clean up while we go have a drink....

Remind me to NEVER piss you off! :)

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Keep up the great work with your excess weight loss.

You had every right to verbally go off on her, but you showed class. She is mean and hateful.

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times like that...I've learned instead of saying "F*ck You..." to actually say "OK, great! You look great too!" Add in some actual eye rolls and virtual mental bitch slaps.

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times like that...I've learned instead of saying "F*ck You..." to actually say "OK, great! You look great too!" Add in some actual eye rolls and virtual mental b***h slaps.

The one blessing of communicating with my ex is that I have learned to do just that. I now respond to her barbs and snipes as I would if she was saying something that a normal person would say. My lack of participation in her drama drives her nuts sometimes. This is in keeping with Proverbs Chapter 25 v 21 and 22:

"If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; And if he is thirsty, give him Water to drink; For you will heap burning coals on his head " I now comfort myself by thinking "isn't it fun to think her head is smoking."

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OK, so here's the plan:

On a dark and starless night, in a deserted pasture, your hubby jumps her from behind and binds her arms behind her.

Next you and I hang her from a tree until she is ALMOST dead. We cut her down just before she takes her last breath. Now comes the good part---we cut her from gullet to groin, pour oil into her innards and set her on fire!!! The best part: We tie each of her limbs to a different horse and drive the horses forward. We leave your hubby to clean up while we go have a drink....

Remind me to NEVER piss you off! :)

Ha! You should have known me BEFORE I learned to be so peace filled and harmonious with the world!!! maawhaaaaa... :)

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

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