Wasting food mental issue

[Sharon1964 2,530]

I work in an office where people often bring us restaurant breakfasts and lunches. I encourage all the other staff to take all the extras home, but when they don't, I bring it home and give it to my neighbors. They get all the Pasta, the bread, the Desserts, etc. We've been getting a lot of breakfasts lately and one common one is an individual quiche baked with a croissant crust. My neighbors love those.

No guilt for me, treats for the neighbors. Win-win.

[MonikaMakal 18]

Thank you All for your comments. It really makes me stronger to do something about my issue.

It’s really hard to discuss this at home as they really don’t understand my food problems. My partner and his sons have quite healthy relation with food and they all are skinny. Hubby is very helpful but I am not 100% sure he deeply understand what I am struggling with.

Yes, I am attending therapy sessions since my surgery (5 weeks out). And this is one of the issue I will work out. Just wanted to know if I am alone or anybody else has similar problems.

I think it comes from my childhood. I was raised by my grandmother. She survived very hard times during 2^nd World War in Poland. And food was really precious to her. She always had to have stored food and nothing could be wasted.

Your comments help me understand that I am not a garbage really, and throwing out some amount of food it’s not a tragedy. Especially I am not a poor person and food is relatively cheap so I can get it every time I need. Also what @@Djmohr suggested about using vacuum sealer seems very promising to me. Currently I am working with a lot of plastic boxes but they use lot of space in the freezer.

[MichiganChic 3,262]

I don't like to waste food, either. So, I try to buy less, and I cook less. Having an abundance, both in quantity and choices led to obesity for me. So, I have learned to limit that, and has led to my success. I do have to throw things out sometimes, and I hate it, but once it's cooked, it's going to be gone either way. My rule of thumb is NEVER waste a calorie on something I don't really want. I do not eat anything anymore just because it's in front of me. It's a big mind shift, for sure. That concept never occurred to me before WLS.

@@MonikaMakal I do understand what you are saying. I feel like that about cake. I just can't throw it away. Somehow, I don't feel like that about lettuce!

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,443]

@@MichiganChic -- "I do understand what you are saying. I feel like that about cake. I just can't throw it away. Somehow, I don't feel like that about lettuce!"

Isn't it funny how that works? I'll never understand.

[Djmohr 6,965]

I have to say since having surgery 14 months ago, I have definitely learned to cook a lot less than I once did.

I have also tried so many new recipes because I absolutely love to cook and having this surgery has turned me on to foods I just simply never bothered with before.

I can only tolerate leftovers once before I get sick of it and toss it out. I freeze what I can but even cooking a lot less quantity results in wasted food.

There are times however when I make something and for whatever reason I just don't tolerate it this time and I end up tossing it. It is like I go through phases when my pouch behaves and sometimes it don't.

[bikrchk 1,313]

Get some help with this or it will drive you nuts as a sleeved person! One way of looking at it that's helped me is looking at it like this...

"My body is not a garbage disposal", it is not my responsibility, (and seriously no longer possible) to consume more than I am comfortable holding.

[IncredibleShrinkingMan 437]

This is a real delicate act, I think. Of course, most of us were taught to clean our plate, but some of us were also taught only to procure so much food as will allow us to clean that plate. I have been giving food to homeless shelters and food banks prolifically for the last three months, because I have run into the exact problem you are describing despite my best efforts not to load up on things that I won't be able to get to prior to their expiration. I understand your ethical concern completely. However, I think that failing the donation solution, disposing of some food now and then is very forgivable, whereas eating for a purpose other than nourishing and sustaining yourself is no longer okay. At the peril of sounding crass, it really comes down to "wasting" some food versus wasting a very expensive surgery. I am sorry if I offended anybody, but I have been able to establish for myself a balance in this area with which I am satisfied.

I don't think you have OCD or any mental disorder whatsoever...I think you are a very laudable and responsible individual who can be trusted to reach a good solution each time you are confronted with this.

[Niki15 198]

This is a tough subject in my opinion.

I had a bad habit of eating the leftovers... Mine and my kids. Did not serve me well.

This got better after surgery. I don't need the last couple of anything! Then, we lost our beloved labs one at a time and with no dogs there was even more "extra".

I think it is a different mindset to me now... But it has been years..I truly shop less... Cook less ... And absolutely eat far less. food gets tossed... And not into my mouth.

It took awhile to just know it was ok to do that.

Best of luck to us all????

Sorry to hear about your labs we have 3 2 chocalate and 1 black dont know what we would do without them ..they love our leftovers they are very spoiled.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I was raised with this mindset too - not specifically about food, about everything. Waste not want not. My parents were depression era children and my dad was from rural deep south and grew up genuinely hungry much of the time. We were a big family and also very poor.

They were not hoarders and took very good care of their possessions but everything was treated as though it was a precious commodity... clean mayo jars had an esteemed spot on the shelf in the shed...cuz you never know when you need a jar!

For food, I"reframed" the thoughts. Eating more than I need for health is also waste. Eating too much vs

Throwing out - tossing is preferred.

I continue to work on not saving things just in case " I need it someday".

Example, we removed crappy sliding hollow core doors from closets and hung curtains so I can see my clothes! I have been storing those stupid doors for 2 years. My son and I figured that when it is time to sell I will want to put up BETTER doors, so why are we keeping these? They go to the dump this weekend.

It is a relief to not be burdened by so much " stuff"

I think you are seeing what a relief it would be if you didn't worry about leftover food as though it were irreplaceable treasure. It's not, it's food.

[FocusOnMeNow 599]

Do you have a freezer? I have purchased a ridiculous amount of glass (healthier for heated food) and plastic containers from 4oz-8oz pretty cheap on Amazon. Everything I make will make like 12 or more servings in those little cups, then I freeze the other 11. Needless to say I don't have to cook that much. So definitely see a therapist, but also get some tiny cups and be obsessed with them instead. Also, if you have ever read "Real Simple" they often have recipes where you can recycle the ingredients for several more meals. That might help as well. Good luck!

[MonikaMakal 18]

You know, the funny thing about me is that I am a follower of minimalism ideology. I've never collected, gathered too much stuff. I like clean not messy environment around me.

I only fail in the food area.

And just to be precise for everyone who understood from my e-mail that I overeat to clean up the plate. I do not. If I finish I have only a big urge to utilize the leftovers and the other's members of family leftovers as well. To keep them for the next meal or to optimize cooking that there is no leftovers at all.

So the problem is not that physical but more mental.

Definitely I need to restructure amount of food I am buying and cooking. After WLS it has been changed significantly.

But I am on my way now.

[MichiganChic 3,262]

Regarding the mind shift of buying less - it reminds me of the first month after my surgery. I was at costco, and I looked at that 20 pound bag of potatoes - you know, the ones that have the huge 1-2 pound potatoes in it? I used to buy that bag before surgery, eat a whole one WITH meals, feed them to my family, and force some on my extended family.

The first time after surgery when I saw that bag and it occurred to me that it would go to waste if I bought it because I wasn't allowed potatoes, and also because one of them would be 6 meals, was a big shock to me. I haven't bought a bag of those in three years. I was there yesterday and saw that big beautiful bag, and I still have the same reaction. I kind of want them, but I know I can't use them, and if bought them, I'd be trying to use them. For me, I have to put forth some of my best effort in self control at the store. Once I'm home, I never wish I had those potatoes.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

This.

I grew up in a large family so shopping with mom meant a cart (or two) full and lots of family-sized packaging.

After 30 years of being single, living alone, and not cooking very much, it still feels odd to buy individual items (I.e., one onion or one tomato) instead of the jumbo bag.

I find I prefer to "market" -- what I call going to a small or specialty store and picking up a couple of things for a few meals -- going to a grocery store, or even worse, a warehouse store, brings out my hoarder tendencies.

I currently have a very small kitchen with a small refrigerator/freezer so it doesn't take much to fill it up.

It probably works that way for most people and is a struggle.

Now, I am trying to channel my inner Parisienne (for small amounts of high quality, delicious food), with a little of my inner farmer's granddaughter (for fresh, locally sourced, delicious food).

[Alex Brecher 10,496]

MonikaMakal,

Tons of people have this problem, and I think it shows what a thoughtful person you are! It’s also often a result of not having enough to eat when they were growing up, or having some sort of fear the food will disappear.

First, to your point about having trouble estimating your portions post-op: you’ll get better at it, and you’ll have less food left over.

A question I always suggest asking when someone is afraid of throwing food out is, “Why?” That is, what is so bad about throwing away food? Whom does it help if you don’t throw the food away? Whether you put it in the trash can or on your hips, that food is not going to end world hunger. The best you can do is TRY to only purchase/prepare what you need. The extras are unfortunate, but they’re already created. You can’t un-buy or un-cook that food. So don’t bother regretting it; just throw it away (if it’s trash) and try to do better (i.e., have less leftovers) next time.

Like the others have said, you can make it easier on yourself by having better storage options, like small containers with lids, etc. And, if you feel it may be a disorder, you may need to see a therapist.

Good luck!

[Beni 1,484]

My daughter, at the time about 8 years old, watched me eat the leftovers on my plate after dinner. I had dinner (a generous helping, I am sure) and as I was about to place the dishes in the dishwasher, I decided the leftover food on my plate shouldn't go to waste and I ate it. I was obviously struggling to eat since I was already full. My sweet daughter looked at me and said, "Mommy, you are not the garbage can." That statement has remained with me. It was a reminder that I had lost my way and desperately needed help. At that moment I felt like the overflowing garbage can that you try to squeeze in yet another large item. It doesn't fit but you push it in anyway. Yeah! Not cool. Time to get help, I did.