Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

New to dating


sgc

Recommended Posts

@sgc - Still no luck. I have not been on for a little but I hoped that you would meet someone. I would say, try the group activities. Try a bariatric conference or meet up. I think meeting people whom are at the same point in their lives as you are and understand your struggle will help tremendously.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I haven't emailed anyone in a bit so maybe I can try another round. I seem some of the same women online constantly. They must be logged in 24/7. It makes me wonder if they are just on for attention to see who they can get to email them?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Reading through this thread has been interesting. I have done most of the online sites and many are hit or miss. You can meet some great people but I've also met some stalkers and creeps. Also, my phone will sometimes keep the app refreshed if I keep it in the background, making it look like I'm online all the time.

I would recommended meetup as the other have, but I would say try one where the group is attending an event like a movie or concert. That way don't have to be "on" but you can still go out with a group. Once it's over you can leave. Hopefully, once you do it enough you will get more comfortable in a group and will be able speak to some people. Another option is to take a class. I took a drawing class and met some nice people. None of us spoke to each other the first few weeks but by the end we were chummy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Match and eHarmony seem pretty decent. I've messaged nearly 150 women so apparently there is no shortage of good matches. POF seems pretty bad in my area and that's the only one I get attention. So far I have been approached by a professional dominatrix, a woman who lists the races she will and will not date, a transgendered woman, and the princess of darkness.

This meetup almost seems to describe me perfectly

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I no there is plenty of good single men and woman right here on this very app, I would be more comfortable not having to defend or explain everything to someone about wls

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My suggestion is locate a Bariatric Dating Site. I think they created one too. Also, go back in your comments, there was a woman that was interested in getting to know you better. It was a little ways ago but you never know.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I did message her but I was hung up on that woman from work so I probably didn't come off well. I also don't believe she was local and I would prefer someone local. The bariatric dating sites I have found don't seem to have much traffic. I'm also going to check out some Canadian websites. Might as well go international.

Edited by sgc

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So someone finally emailed me back. Number 141. Now I don't know what to do. I have to be a conversationalist. I don't want to sound like I'm in a job interview. If all goes well, at what point do I initiate an in person meeting?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No response. I kind if figured as much. It took her two days to email after she read my original email. She read the last email right away but hasn't in responded in two days now. I guess now they're just toying with me. Same thing happened with the woman at work. She shows interest, I show interest back, and then silence. Anyways, I have a new approach. Just going to look at pictures and email the ones I find attractive with generic emails. If I get a response, I'll go back and read their profile. If they seem crazy after reading their profile or I'm not interested, I'll just ignore them. I'm wasting too much time and energy carefully reading profiles and trying to come up with thoughtful emails that ultimately get no response.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@sgc if that can work. I would say try it. However, do not become negative or loose your optimism.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So this one woman emailed me. I emailed her back and we have been going back and forth but she only gives very short answers. She isn't asking anything about me. What I should I be asking to get her to say more or is she really not interested?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest

On ‎11‎/‎11‎/‎2015 at 6:41 PM, CowgirlJane said:

I know several people who met their spouses at work - so good stories happen too...however...i have worked for the same company for DECADES and prefer to keep my personal life (all aspects) seperate from work. That attitude has served me well. Think hard about this.

Isn't "thinking hard" what will get him in trouble to begin with? :lol:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest

6 hours ago, sgc said:

So this one woman emailed me. I emailed her back and we have been going back and forth but she only gives very short answers. She isn't asking anything about me. What I should I be asking to get her to say more or is she really not interested?

Drop her. If she doesn't want to open up and share some things why should it be a one way conversation. She is obviously trying to be nice by responding but not giving you enough to make it worth your effort. Just drop her like a bad habit. If she is interested a woman will ask some insightful questions of you as well. Not as mechanical as a job interview, communication online is similar in that you are interviewing women to ascertain if they are a good fit for your life and they are interviewing you to see if you fit their needs in life. When one party will not reciprocate information, or acts evasive it's time to go. She is replaceable go find a better one.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Drop her. If she doesn't want to open up and share some things why should it be a one way conversation. She is obviously trying to be nice by responding but not giving you enough to make it worth your effort. Just drop her like a bad habit. If she is interested a woman will ask some insightful questions of you as well. Not as mechanical as a job interview, communication online is similar in that you are interviewing women to ascertain if they are a good fit for your life and they are interviewing you to see if you fit their needs in life. When one party will not reciprocate information, or acts evasive it's time to go. She is replaceable go find a better one.

That is what I was thinking. She was the one who started the conversation with me which makes it weird she suddenly wouldn't be interested. It's not really evasive as much as just simple answers. She mentioned she had ambitions so I asked what they were and she said she is going back to school. I asked what she is going back to school for and she said to be an LPN. I thought these were questions that would generate more conversation. She hasn't asked me anything either. I just quit responding.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, sgc said:


That is what I was thinking. She was the one who started the conversation with me which makes it weird she suddenly wouldn't be interested. It's not really evasive as much as just simple answers. She mentioned she had ambitions so I asked what they were and she said she is going back to school. I asked what she is going back to school for and she said to be an LPN. I thought these were questions that would generate more conversation. She hasn't asked me anything either. I just quit responding.

I agree with @russdroppings. You should drop her. Any female that is not provided detailed answers are usually a waste of time. They are not truly interested. Do not waste your time or even try to make her open up.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×