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Help! Got questions about my daughter!



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I was sleeved in December. Haven't been heavy my whole life and started at a pretty low BMI. My daughter on the other hand, is pretty heavy. She's 19 year old college student and just got approved for surgery! She's 5 hours away, so we're scheduling surgery for Christmas break when she'll be home six weeks. Is that enough time for her to recover or should we wait until next summer?

She has a dorm that has a full kitchen and private bath so I'm hoping I can help her get set with all she needs there too. How soon after RNY did you start feeling better? Are we moving too fast?

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I think it's good timing for recovery. But you will have to be super supportive of her and make sure to keep yummy Christmas treats out of her sighting the beginning. Tough time of year for surgery!

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Just remember she will have to have the pre-op appointments, the pre-op diet, the operation itself, and then the post-op recovery in that six week period.

In my case, I am taking off four weeks before I am going back to work. But even at that point, I will still be on the pureed food stage. In your daughter's case, she will need to be able to deal with fixing her own soft foods or possibly even pureed foods in her school situation.

If she's up to doing that by herself (since she is 5 hours away from you when she's there), then maybe it could be done over the winter break.

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One more thing: how is she going to handle followup visits with the surgeon and dietitian? Need to consider that as well. Maybe someone local to her school?

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One more thing: how is she going to handle followup visits with the surgeon and dietitian? Need to consider that as well. Maybe someone local to her school?

Luckily, the clinic also has a location near her college where she can do the follow ups. She's also in a dorm that has a fully functional kitchen that she can prepare food, purée, etc. thanks so much for the information. It's so worrisome when it's your kid! ????

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I had my original bypass surgery in 2008 and a revision in 2012. Both surgeries I was back to work after a week. Yes, there are your food restrictions, but overall I was fine.

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@@kimdlawson06 I have a daughter, so I know just how you feel.

Although there are some people, like @@maletakay, who are back to work after a week (which is awesome!), there are many others who speak of being weak and exhausted for two or more weeks after the surgery. Everyone's different. Not trying to be a pessimist, but just giving you some things to consider.

If it were me, so long as I had at least four weeks to recuperate after my surgery before going back to school, I would be pretty optimistic about it, especially with the dorm environment and clinic support you mentioned. She will be needing lots of support, but I am sure you guys will all be talking on the phone a lot! :)

And be sure she signs up with BariatricPal, this site is incredible with great people to help. An awesome community. And there are a number of people in their 20s and even some in late teens who she will be able to relate to.

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Six weeks should be fine but some things to consider/plan for:

She won't be able to lift any weight for a while, so she needs to make sure she is cleared before she starts toting around a full backpack.

She will need to carefully plan out her days so she can get in all her Protein and Water. She doesn't need to get dehydrated.

If she does have any limitations or complications, she needs to let the school know. Most colleges have some sort of a disability services office (check with the Dean of Students).

Even though she has her own kitchen, it doesn't hurt to make friends with the food services folks. Many of them have nutritionists on staff and can help her make good choices. A lot of colleges also have their dining services food in MyFitnessPal.

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I only took off work for two weeks. I think it just depends on the person. Six weeks will be plenty.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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