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Unsupportive partner



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So my partner hasn't been very supportive of my upcoming surgery! During an argument tonight he referred to my savings for my surgery as my "fat money" an I looked at him disputed and his response was "well it's true the reason your getting surgery is cos your fucking fat" .. I'm so hurt right now... ????

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Please don't let anyone or anything bring you down. I know it hurts but just keep going and let your actions speak louder than your words. When I have heard enough, I go Walking or cycling. You will do. You will conquer.

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Once insults are hurled at you they can't be taken back. Life is too short to live with a person that degrades you.

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@@KnowUrWorth - you definitely don't need that bu//$h!t -

walk away and do something for you, and if you need to - come here.

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Is he scared that once you start to lose weight, you won't need him or want to be with him anymore? Sounds like he just wants to bring you down and for things to stay the way they are.

So sorry you are going thru this. Surgery can be hard enough, without any complications coming from those that are around you x

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When people show you who they are, believe them.

~Maya Angelou~

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It's hard when your going through such a drastic change in your life and when you need support the person who should be your biggest supporter isn't. It's not just that he is unsupportive, he sounds cruel, with those comments.

You need a support system to give you the very best chance at success. Maybe asking him why he is unsupportive of you.

It's a time where you need to make tough choices and ultimately, your the only one who can make them.

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Apart from this horrible comment do you usually have a good relationship?

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My surgery is today and I can relate. My husband said to me during and argument that I'm a fat a## and that's why I need surgery to lose weight. He made me feel so low. I was proud of what I was doing til he tore me down. It was unforgivable.

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YOUR HANDLE SAYS IT ALL!! KnorUrWorth Think about that as you proceed with this person. Everybody ain't meant to make this leg of the journey with you. Sending good thoughts to you that you stay encouraged. Head up!

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candy getting sleeve and Urworth it....This your journey for you...your health.Fat money ,fat rear end whatever.You are saving your life doing what's right to keep you alive!!!

How dare they rain on your parade.!!!!Get it Done!!!!

If they can't deal with it you may have to shrink them in your lives as your fat rear ends decreases and becomes compact.!!!Its about you...so yeah fat money is well worth it !!!!

Candy good luck with your surgery!!Congratulations...that fat a## will be shrinking.

Urworthit,best "fat money ever spent!!!yay!!!

Congratulations!!!!

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It's usually ok but when we argue it can get full on and he can be quite nasty & say some hurtful things. We've got 2 children together. 2 year old & 3 month old, so you'd think he would be a lot nicer but that isn't the case. It's not the first time his put me down about my weight. He always apologies and says he only said it in anger but I just don't know when enough is enough..

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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