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A Semi-Vicious Cycle (or) Let?s Hear It for Fluoro!
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Remember my post about restriction being a mind game? Well, I think I’ve got it figured out. Bear with me and I hope I can explain this.
Back in late September I started feeling a little less restriction, so I made an appointment for a fill. Because of my doctors’ schedule, that appointment was about 6 weeks away. So what happens? Restriction immediately returns. At least, that’s what it felt like.
Then over the next few weeks I became aware of not only increased restriction, but some stranger symptoms I’ve never had before: a little extra gurgling, a sensation of food hanging up in my pouch only to go through all at once later on, and one episode of nighttime waking due to Fluid in my throat. I’m starting to worry, a little, but these are not major problems so I forge ahead.
So even though I doubt very much a fill is in order, I kept my appointment because I wanted to get a look at the situation through fluoro. I know that if there is anything wrong, catching it early is key to an easy resolution. Here’s what we discovered:
My band is fine, everything is in good position, but the barium hung up a little in the pouch before going through. The doctor explains that this could be the beginning of a slippage, where the stomach creeps up a little through the band, enlarging the pouch and creating problems. I’m not there, yet, but the pouch looks a little larger than he’d like and he’s a little concerned about the way some of the barium didn’t flow through readily. So he takes out .7 cc of saline to increase the size of the stoma, and I’m to see him in a month to see where we’re at.
Looking back, I think it wasn’t the restriction that changed, it was my behavior. Making that appointment sent my subconscious a signal that I can relax, eat “normally” (meaning faster), and not worry because in a few weeks my restriction will be back. So I start overdoing it slightly, without even being aware that I am, which makes my restriction FELT. It hadn’t gone anywhere—I was just less conscious of it because my habits were such that it didn’t need to.
I’m convinced I did this to myself by eating too fast, and therefore eating too much before I realize it. BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD!!! I’m so, so thankful that I have ready access to a doctor who uses fluoro to see the band every time. My symptoms could easily have been ignored because they weren’t causing any pain or major discomfort, until such time that another surgery would be required. As it is, a minor unfill is all that's indicated, and I'm confident that what's left in my band will keep me on the straight and narrow.
My focus now is not so much on losing weight, it’s about taking care of myself and my band for the long term. This episode points up the habits that I STILL have, and that only I can control over time. Somehow I feel like the hard work is still ahead.