Usually, I'm pretty even keeled, even on the Internet, but some questions...

[judyoz 240]

Not hard to figure out, sorry no onions

I'm not sure how I managed to find the topic, but someone was recently lamenting (the loss of) and questioning his/her ability to drink at college parties (at the ripe ol' age of 20 something). The question was posed in possibly the most immature way.

Ever just want to shake people and/or give them a virtual kick in the ass? My initial thought was, really? Grow the F up and get your priorities straight.

Not hard to figure out, sorry no onions

I'm not sure how I managed to find the topic, but someone was recently lamenting (the loss of) and questioning his/her ability to drink at college parties (at the ripe ol' age of 20 something). The question was posed in possibly the most immature way.

Ever just want to shake people and/or give them a virtual kick in the ass? My initial thought was, really? Grow the F up and get your priorities straight.

[lauraellen80 854]

I agree that there are a lot of people--not just on here--who seem to be either extremely ill-informed or willfully disregarding their surgeon's instructions...

...however, these types of threads make me really nervous about posting anything on this site in the future. I'm still pretty new, both to this site and to WLS (I was sleeved 3 weeks ago). I posted a thread a while back with that I thought was a reasonable question. I'd looked through search results, had left a message with my surgeon's office, and just wanted some opinions because I couldn't stop obsessing/worrying. A few days later, someone posted a ranting thread which mentioned essentially the same scenario that I'd asked about. I had to assume that it was a complaint against me, but I wish the member had sent me a private message instead of calling me out publicly. And yes, I agree with @@judyoz that it's usually not hard to figure out who is being ranted about, which I think is worse (and kinda passive-aggressive) than just bluntly responding to the post or PMing the OP.

So, while there are certainly plenty of people who may just be on here to try to get someone to justify their poor decisions, most of us newbies are looking for a community of support when we can't even tell a lot of people in our "real lives" about our WLS, let alone talk about the nitty-gritty details.

[SoulGlo 75]

This is not a nice subject to respond to but I am going to.

For all of you that are judging this 20 year old girl in a negative way,

Do you remember being 20 years old?

Were you regular sized or obese?

Did you like to party?

I was an obese 20 year old that liked to drink and go to bars. Always wishing I was as "thin" as my friends. Of course there was not WLS available back then so I do not know what I would have done.

But for goodness sake she was being honest and truthful in her questions. Have a heart. Be kind, I can only imagine what she is thinking as she reads all these replys.

On another note, those that post about not losing weight and "doing all the right things" you have one of two things going on, you are lying or it is just part of the process. There are many posts you can search and read BEFORE posting.

You're spot on. Even 'veterans' start out ignorant and clueless and hopefully someone answered their queries and questions in a respectful manner so they were able to build up their knowledge bases in order to progress into knowledgeable veterans instead of chiding or humiliating them.

Not all bariatric programs are made the same. Some bariatric programs make ensure their patients are fully informed whilst others are more lax when it comes to informing their patients. Therefore,some people have more gaps in their knowledge than others.

I don't understand why if someone is so annoyed by 'these stupid questions' then don't just skip the thread and erase the question from their minds and move on? What's the point in posting a reply just to whinge or belittle the asker? Unless they're a masochist or a touch sadistic

Edited July 5, 2015 by SoulGlo

[judyoz 240]

In the end, we are all aware of who treats people with disrespect and rudeness. I know I am.

[terrydumont46 1,954]

when I was still in the hospital after my banding the nurse told me about a man who had had a gastric bypass. on his way home after discharge stopped by mcdonalds and had a quarter pounder and fries. he was back in the hospital and had to have repair done. some ppl never learn. I too hate the drinking questions. we give up soda's why wouldn't we give up alcohol especially the first year. I have a flat head from hitting it after reading some posts

[Chrystee 838]

I try to be patient but the repeat questions over "when can I do all the things that I am told not to?" or "when can I go back to eating anything and everything?" Those get me and drive me insane.

Also not gonna mention any names but the post I see every week that says something to the effect of "I walk 2-3 miles a day and only eat 500 calories but I don't lose" What a lie, not even possible.

I look at my husband and read them to him and he says "walk away" but it is like a train wreck and I have to look lmao

What is a lie? I was that patient.. eating 300, 400 or 500 calories and working out like crazy and stopped losing. I had to increase calories..

There are two questions/posts that come up over and over that actually raise my blood pressure.

1. Whining about only losing 30lbs so far and I am already a month out. When in your life have you ever lost that much weight so quickly? It took you longer than a year to gain all this weight but you think it should just melt off overnight.

I seriously have to take deep breaths before responding so I do restrain what I really wNt to say. Oh and by the way, as soon as you start on soft foods and are released to eat a "normal" diet, weight loss will actually slow way down. But guess what, you will still lose.

2. I am stalled. I have not lost any weight over the last two days or 6 days. does this mean I have failed or am Done losing? "Insert panic here"

Ok, really? Get a grip. I think I actually grind my teeth every time I read one of these. Deep breaths and reassure them that this will not be the last time days God by without loss.

I recognize that there are a lot of people that are just beginning research but that panic just gets me every time.

This is just me but I researched so much prior to surgery and read everything my clinic gave me. I knew exactly what to expect before proceeding so maybe that is why I did not panic when these types of things occurred.

HAHA, I remember posting one of those.. You KNOW that it will work.. You KNOW you will get there, but there is that panic, that maybe, just maybe you are the % that the surgery won't help.. It is scary.

[Babbs 14,680]

@@Chrystee

Yeah, I agree with you. There is the starvation mode phenomenon that happens. From months 4-6, I stalled all the time and lost very slowly. VERY frustrated. Then I decided after some advice on this site to increase my calories by quite a bit. Since then, I've lost very steadily.

And yes, most people, including me, at first think they are the only ones in the whole world that aren't going to lose the weight after WLS. I think it's from all our previous failures at dieting.

[Chrystee 838]

@@Chrystee

Yeah, I agree with you. There is the starvation mode phenomenon that happens. From months 4-6, I stalled all the time and lost very slowly. VERY frustrated. Then I decided after some advice on this site to increase my calories by quite a bit. Since then, I've lost very steadily.

And yes, most people, including me, at first think they are the only ones in the whole world that aren't going to lose the weight after WLS. I think it's from all our previous failures at dieting.

I'm pretty happy with my weight loss.. but when I go a week or two without losing.. I start the little panic, and the voices in my head telling me, yep, that's it.. you aren't going to lose anymore! Then i'll lose 5 pounds. LOL

[ShrinkingPeach 1,291]

@@Chrystee, this was a pre-op person who also finally admitted to me she was drinking soda and eating cake. Yes you can send your body into starvation mode and have to increase calories but this wasn't a case of that. This was a case of just flat out misrepresenting herself and I have no idea what she was hoping to achieve with her eating choices and the posts here.

[Chrystee 838]

She posts it every week? I was under the impression you saw it numerous Times.. I see it too..

[muzical1 85]

I guess some don't take this major life altering/life giving procedure as seriously as others. If you're rushing to have a drink after surgery, you probably have another problem to solve. Not my business, but I do understand the sentiment.

[judyoz 240]

I don't understand why if someone is so annoyed by 'these stupid questions' then don't just skip the thread and erase the question from their minds and move on?

For sure

[shancanssleevejourney 74]

This thread is a scream, I'm probably guilty of feeling some of the exact same things, although, I have been a whiner in the last week or so. I am only 4 1/2 weeks out and have stalled. I needed to read this to get my head back on straight. I think part of the issue is also peer and family pressure, I get asked "how much have you lost" a hundred or two times. I think we get in the trap of having to "prove" why we decided to have surgery. Other people have much higher expectations than myself and I need to find a way to verbalize to them its really not just about the amount of weight I have lost. I know they think they are being helpful and cheering me on, but I feel shamed when I can't report a loss and I know its just normal at this stage in my journey. Honestly the thing that makes my head explode is the seemingly complete lack of education and understanding of what is going on physiologically in their bodies. I see people posting about eating no no foods and drinks and not using the right Proteins etc etc. The when can I drink question gets me too, but I'm not going to lie, I miss my wine so will try not to whine about my wine

[IcanMakeit 1,318]

I really empathize with the "when can I have a drink" posts. Even though I have always been a very infrequent and light drinker, I backed out of getting the lap band about 10 years ago, mostly because they told me I could never have alcohol again. Since then, most surgeons have moderated that recommendation, but the 7 months that I waited before trying a few sips of champagne did seem pretty long to me. I associate wine drinking with fine dining and enjoyment of great company. I'm very glad that (in maintenance) it's allowed as an occasional treat.

[Chrystee 838]

I really empathize with the "when can I have a drink" posts. Even though I have always been a very infrequent and light drinker, I backed out of getting the lap band about 10 years ago, mostly because they told me I could never have alcohol again. Since then, most surgeons have moderated that recommendation, but the 7 months that I waited before trying a few sips of champagne did seem pretty long to me. I associate wine drinking with fine dining and enjoyment of great company. I'm very glad that (in maintenance) it's allowed as an occasional treat.

I do too, because the only times I REALLY wanted to have a drink was while I was pregnant and right now! LMAO. I never even drink very often.. but because I CAN'T have any, I want one so bad.