Hello,

I just got home from my evaluation appointment today and am now waiting to hear back about my pre-op. It was the first time in a long time that I didn't feel like a freak after leaving the doctors office. I am scared and nervous, but I know this is something I must do.

My journey down this road started in 1995. That is when I got my first hernia. It was small and appeared 6 months after I had my gall bladder removed. I didn't even know what it was but it hurt very badly and when I went to the ER they rushed me in to operate on it. I thought that was the end of it, little did I know it was only the beginning. 6 months later I had to have another emergency surgery to repair a hernia, 18 months later, another and 2 years after that I had my 4th hernia repair surgery when they removed my belly button!. I was able to make it almost 3 years before my 5th operation. Then 2 months after that I fell and broke my foot which put me in a wheel chair for 6 months and at that point, my minor dealings with my weight became a major problem as I went from 185 pounds to 270.

So I knew at that point I was going to have some major problems, my doctor said my belly looked like Swiss cheese and that any mesh they put in was just going to tear another hole. I just started to live with it and accept that I would have hernias. In the meantime I moved to NC and met another doctor who said he could fix me. So 2 operations later (7 hernia in total) I had 3 large hernias, weighed 290 pounds and had given upon getting them fixed or every being able to lose this extra weight. I accepted that I was beyond fixing and would just learn to live with this.

In December 2013 I had another major issue to deal with as I was admitted for emergency surgery to deal with a blocked intestine. I was in a week, home a week and readmitted for complications. I actually traveled out of the country in February and thought once again this was behind me. But on June 21 2014, I was once again rushed to the hospital and admitted for emergency surgery for a small bowel obstruction. I got home the day before my 50th birthday, was home a week, and readmitted with a severe infection and major complications. After a 2 and a half week stay I was allowed to go home. My 3rd time dealing with this, in February 2014, was enough, my 3rd bowel obstruction surgery in 14 months. The doctor who had done these last 3 operations told me that my abdomen was "complicated" and beyond the ability of my local hospital to deal with so he referred me to UNC to be checked by a hernia specialist there.

My wife and I had talked about me getting some type of operation to help with my weight, but after 11 operations on my belly in 20 years I figured no one would even consider the idea. But the doctor who saw me told me that I needed to lose at least 50 pounds before he could attempt to fix my hernias and suggested I get the sleeve surgery. Then I started researching, and praying and talking to my wife and my daughter and my parents, wanting to make the decision that would end this cycle and give me my life back.

I am tired, I am tired of the endless cycle of hospital stays, I am tired of feeling this way, I am tired of seeing the stress I am putting my family under, I am tired of being scared, I am tired of looking this way.

I want my life to be good again, I know that there is a chance that even if I lose the weight the hernia doctor will tell me there is nothing he can do. But I will have a better chance of getting my weight under control and at least be able to wear binders that fit to hold my hernias in.

So now I wait, they told me it will take about 1-2 weeks for my insurance to approve everything and they will get me back in to meet the surgeon and complete my pre-op and I should have the operation about a week after that. For the first time in about 10 years I feel like I am in control again, I feel like this is going to work, I feel positive that this will give me control of my life again.

I am ready, but I am scared. I guess some people would think that I have had enough operations that they should be 2nd nature to me and I guess that is part of the reason I am scared, I have had a total of 15 operations in the last 22 years. I know how hard they are and I know how bad it can get. But even knowing that, I know this is something I have to do.

So I start on this journey with my family, it is not only a change for me, but for them as well. I am blessed to have a very supportive family who is going to be with me every step of the way.

But I appreciate your support as well, the best advice is from people who have been down the path I am embarking on and I thank you in advance for any advice and feedback I get.

Sorry for such a long post, but this is the first time I have talked about all of this in quite a while.

Thanks

Your story is moving. I am so glad that you are on the road to recovery. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Thank you. It feels good to be moving forward. I really appreciate the thoughts and prayers. Good luck toyou on your journey as well.

It is a blessing to have a supportive person in the home with me. My wife has been beyond wonderful.

She keeps a journal of what I eat, my BP, my measurements and any other information for me. She told me if I kept it then no one would be able to read it.

She has pre-made Soups, Protein shakes, and yogurt shakes for me and put them pre-measured in the fridge.

I told her that I might like to eat some Protein Bars when I am able. So she got online and researched the store bought ones, she found she could make me some that were much more healthy, so she is going to make them once I can have them.

I start my puree stage on Friday and she is helping me plan the meals and told me that on Thursday, she will pre-make some stuff for me so I can have it starting Friday.

We have been married for 12 years and she has been beside me every step of the way since then. She is my rock, my leaning post, my sounding board.

I know we cant do this for someone else, but I want to get better for her, I want us to be able to enjoy each other again and for her not to have to be my care-giver all of the time. Every time I think this is hard on me, I look at her and see it has not just impacted me, that I need to be strong for both of us, she has carried the load by herself for too long.

I am truly blessed, not just to be able to have had this operation as a part of the healing process, but to have someone like her to go on this journey beside me.

So I went to the grocery store with my wife yesterday and saw one of my former students. I had him last year but because of my health issues I had not actually seen him since April. I was expecting a, "How are you doing, you look rough" type of conversation.

But no, he says, "Wow, you look great! I saw on FB you had surgery last week but never expected you to look so good. You have lost some weight too, it looks good. I don't know what you are doing but you look fantastic."

That was so refreshing to hear. I realized that my chubby cheeks are not quite as round now. I am one of those odd people that when I start to lose weight it all comes off of my face first. My cat isn't too happy with me either. She used to climb on my stomach and sit on it like a throne. The bulge from the top hernia isn't as big now so she cant sit there. That is from the new binders I have, but it is still nice to be able to look down and not see this huge bulge on the top of my abdomen.

I start the puree stage today for the next 3 weeks so I will let everyone know how that goes.

Small steps can grow into huge successes.

Have a great day everyone

So far so good today, couldn't eat all of my lunch, the pureed chicken salad filled me up.

I had to laugh at this though, I entered everything I had eaten and planned to eat in my fitness pal and it gave me this big warning that I was not eating enough to survive! Okay, only 635 calories at this point but this is my 1st day of pureed food.

I have to admit I was really pleased to feel "full" while eating lunch. I didn't get to finish my lunch, didn't eat the pureed carrots. The feeling was subtle, but I did feel the slight tightness in my upper abdomen and that told me to stop and it felt good to experience that. I did eat very slowly though, took me about 20 minutes to eat 4 oz of pureed chicken salad.

So far so good! Hope everyone is doing well on their journey as well!

I am so happy for you!!! I hope you will continue to do as well with your recovery. Considering all you've been thru in the past, you're golden now! Best of luck.

First day completed with pureed food and taking my Vitamins. Vitamins were not bad and I felt full after every meal. I had 3 meals and 3 Snacks throughout the day and as of now had 54 oz of Water. I wont go to bed for a couple of hours so will hit 64+ oz with out any problems.

Because of my intestinal issues I had a modified diet before the surgery and was actually able to eat some of the things I ate before so I think it makes things easier for me. I am eating things I was used to eating so to me, the food is "normal" the amounts are not the same by any stretch of the imagination, but the selection is very similar, except for the "baby food" peaches I ate things today that I ate before the operation.

In a way, I feel kind of bad sharing how easy so far things have been for me. I know that others have had some problems that luckily I haven't had to deal with. My heart does go out to them so much tho. I know all about the overwhelming nausea, the extreme pain, the weakness, the dehydration, having so many tubes and lines running in to you that you feel like some freak of nature.

Please know that things will get better, to not give up hope, half of this battle is mental and I am a firm believer that having a positive attitude is HUGE in any recovery. No matter how bad today is, tomorrow can be better and then it is the first day of the rest of your new and improved life. If it isn't tomorrow that gets better, then it can be the next day, or the next, that eventually things do start to get better and know that we are all here with you and keep all of you, even if we don't know your name, or your story, in our thoughts and prayers.

Went to the dr today and got my stitches taken out. The 6 hour round trip was very tiring, thank goodness we don't start school until Aug 12th so I can recover tomorrow.

My surgeon is very pleased with how I am doing. He told me I can start to move to solid food on Friday. I am very pleased with things.

I feel good and cant help to think that I will get feeling even better.

Thanks for all of the support as we all move through this!