Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Am I being a dishonest Christian?



Recommended Posts

I'm a Christian and I have chosen not to tell anyone except close family that I have been sleeved. I share the pre-op diet (that resulted in more than half of my weight loss to date) and that I am keeping my calorie intake low, Protein intake of at least 60 g and Water intake of at least 64oz. All of this is true, but I still feel funny when people ask me about me about my transformation or say that I have inspired them to do better. We all know that this surgery is only a tool and that life after surgery is still hard and that we still have to work at it. So why do I feel, for lack of a better word, guilty, about not sharing that I had the sleeve? Has anyone else experienced this? If so, how are you feeling and how are you dealing with it?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Gimme a break.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I haven't had any type of surgery yet, so my opinion is based solely on proposed hypotheticals I've discussed with my mom.

And at first I was really upset when she made a comment about me telling a random stranger (for example, a waiter at a restaurant), because it was none of their damn business, in my opinion! But then I did some more reflecting and I realized my initial upset was because I was ashamed. Not ashamed of getting the surgery (or wanting to get it), but ashamed of myself for letting me get to a point where I was uncomfortable in my own skin even if people thought I looked fine and held my weight well.

It comes down to it not being about what other people think at all! So, if you feel like you're lying/"being a bad Christian" (which, in my opinion, this is a long way from such a classification), then do what makes you feel better. If telling people will do that, DO IT! But what you have gone through is your journey alone. You chose this and it is yours. You can do with it what you will.

Some people prefer the exclusion truth way. Tell them you've been controlling your eating, increasing your exercising, whatever it is you're doing. But unless they are specifically asking you if you had surgery, they DON'T need to know and you DON'T need to tell them if you're uncomfortable with it. That being said, if someone DOES ask you if you had surgery, what will you choose to tell them then?

Only do what you're comfortable with. Always.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

TeamMe, this is something I've struggled with as I contemplate surgery. A large part of my faith is trying to live as I think Christ would and trying to have integrity in all my doings. Right now, the way I see it is that a change in your diet and lifestyle are why you've had the success you have had. If someone compliments us on our complexion, we don't feel the need to tell them our beauty regime; if someone compliments my disposition, I don't feel the need to tell them I take antidepressants. Certainly if someone asked me directly, I'd tell them but other than that it is between me and God. I speak the truth but I don't always have to tell the whole story that led to the truth. In my case, I've asked God to very clearly convict me if I'm outside His will in keeping it from others and until I feel that heavenly kick in the pants, I'm resting easy. Best wishes for determining what's best for you and your relationship with God.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I made my decision not to tell very many people based on the fact that I don't think we need to tell people everything. My weight has always been such a private issue/struggle. I did notice after my surgery how many people discuss weight and how desperate friends were to find out what I was doing differently. I didn't lie, I told them that I cut out all carbs and was exercising regularly. I may one day choose to share my story, but two years post op and it is still something that I don't feel I need everyone to know.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just because I choose to keep my private medical information private, that does not make me a liar. It's your medical history. If you had herpes, HIV, colon cancer, or any other medical condition, would you feel obligated to disclose it?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have only told two people about my WLS, my husband and my best friend. I have not felt compelled to tell anyone else. When asked about my weight loss, I tell them the things listed above re:diet, exercise etc. I sometimes feel guilty not telling other obese acquaintances because I think they could use this tool too. Then I think, well, I didn't know anyone personally that had WLS and I researched it on my own.

We all have different levels of comfort in sharing personal information. I don't think God expects us to share everything about ourselves with everyone. You will have to do what is comfortable for you, and God loves you either way, whether you share or not.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@@TeamMe

No, not even a twinge of guilt. I'm far enough out from surgery and have lost enough to be obvious and it doesn't matter to me who knows what about anything.

Acquaintances who comment about my transformation, get the "just working on getting healthy" response. Sometimes they might inquire further, in which I'll do the big reveal that I try to stay at 800 calories a day and exercise regularly. So far no one has asked any further questions.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks everyone! I felt a lot better just posting the question last night. Now I feel even better about the responses. You're right. I'm not lying. My medical information is my business. I am eating healthier, exercising, watching my calorie intake and trying to be healthier in general and that's that! Thank you so much for your support!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The bible says our bodies are a temple. Well you don't go to your Temple (place of worship) and disrespect it or eat junk in it or throw trash around do you? NO! So why should we treat our temple (our body) like trash? We should keep it the best we can and as clean as we can and as healthy as we can. The surgery isn't going to send you to hell and it's not being dishonest! It's frankly no ones business! You have shared how you lost the weight and like you said it IS true, just because you don't offer the entire details doesn't make you dishonest. It is after all a medical thing so that constitutes as keeping it confidential.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

TeamMe

I have been feeling what you are saying.

I too am a Christian...Jesus is everything to me.

I lost weight on a system of products I represent (67 ponds)

I even won 2nd place in a challenge..

Trouble is, I gained 40 of it back..

This yoyoing will stop!! The products I represent DO work.. But my weight problems are a bit deeper.. I NEED a smaller tummy....PERIOD!!! I just get too hungry..

So, what I plan on doing after surgery:

When I meet with someone about my business or products I represent.. I will tell them about our weight loss product system.. But I will listen more than I talk... If they are 20-40 pounds overweight, I will not tell them about my surgery.

If they are obese, and have had lots of struggles like me, I will tell them. My goal in life is to help others.. If telling them will help them.. So be it.

I will ask the Holy Spirit to guide me.

But.. That being said...

It REALLY IS nobody's business.. My husband helped me with this.

And the changes we have to make to work with our sleeve is real. Some people can make those changes without a sleeve....some people can't.

God bless

Heidi

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I understand not telling anyone,I am the same way. People who know that you had weight loss surgery act as if you do not have to work to loss weight, as if you took the easy way out and as if it doesn't count. You are talked about either way so I just keep my business to myself and as for now I feel that even some of my family I wish that I had not told. Family as well as others treat you different and the more the weight fall the dislike shows. Love yourself more yourself more and just hold on to GOD's hand. He loves you no matter what weight we are , he is happy for us.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm a Christian and I have chosen not to tell anyone except close family that I have been sleeved. I share the pre-op diet (that resulted in more than half of my weight loss to date) and that I am keeping my calorie intake low, Protein intake of at least 60 g and Water intake of at least 64oz. All of this is true, but I still feel funny when people ask me about me about my transformation or say that I have inspired them to do better. We all know that this surgery is only a tool and that life after surgery is still hard and that we still have to work at it. So why do I feel, for lack of a better word, guilty, about not sharing that I had the sleeve? Has anyone else experienced this? If so, how are you feeling and how are you dealing with it?

As a Christian myself I encourage you to tell your church members that you had surgery. God has a perfect plan for you and this surgery was a part of that plan so you should praise God for it and show the member that as well. I know for myself the church member were an encouragement to me and would always tell me that if it is in Gods will it will happen. And it did within two months of putting the application inIi got surgery. God opened the door for me and you to get this surgery and take good care of the body he lend us.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There was a time not that long ago where people did not ask such intrusive personal questions of others.

Sigh. Now I feel old.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Prdgrdma

      So I guess after gastric bypass surgery, I cant eat flock chips because they are fried???  They sell them on here so I thought I could have them. So high in protein and no carbs.  They don't bother me at all.  Help. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        It's possible for a very high fat meal to cause dumping in some (30% or so) gastric bypass patients, although it's more likely to be triggered by high sugar, or by the high fat/high sugar combo (think ice cream, donuts). Dietitians will tell you to never do anything that isn't 100% healthy ever again. Realistically, you should aim for a good balance of protein, carbs, and fat each day. Should you eat fried foods every day? No. Is it possible they will make you sick? Maybe. Is it okay to eat some to see what happens and have them for a treat every now and again? Yes.

    • NovelTee

      I'm not at all hungry on this liquid pre-op diet, but I miss the sensation of chewing. It's been about two weeks––surgery is in two days––and I can't imagine how I'll feel a couple of weeks post-op. Tonight, I randomly stumbled upon a mukbang channel on YouTube, and it was strangely soothing... is it just me, or is this a thing? 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        I actually watched cooking shows during my pre-op, like Great British Baking Show. It was a little bizarre, but didn't make me hungry. I think it was also soothing in a way.

    • Clueless_girl

      How do you figure out what your ideal weight should be? I've had a figure in my head for years, but after 3 mths of recovery I'm already almost there. So maybe my goal should be lower?
      · 3 replies
      1. NickelChip

        Well, there is actually a formula for "Ideal Body Weight" and you can use a calculator to figure it out for you. This one also does an adjusted weight for a person who starts out overweight or obese. https://www.mdcalc.com/calc/68/ideal-body-weight-adjusted-body-weight

        I would use that as a starting point, and then just see how you feel as you lose. How you look and feel is more important than a number.

      2. Clueless_girl

        I did find different calculators but I couldn't find any that accounted for body frame. But you're right, it is just a number. It was just disheartening to see that although I lost 60% of my excess weight, it's still not in the "normal/healthy" range..

      3. NickelChip

        I think it's important to remember that the weight charts and BMI ranges were developed a very long time ago and only intended to be applied to people who have never been overweight or obese. Those numbers aren't for us. When you are larger, especially for a long time, your body develops extra bone to support the weight. Your organs get a little bigger to handle the extra mass. Your entire infrastructure increases so you can support and function with the extra weight. That doesn't all go away just because you burn off the excess fat. If you still had a pair of jeans from your skinniest point in life and then lost weight to get to the exact number on the scale you were when those jeans fit you, chances are they would be a little baggy now because you would actually be thinner than you were, even though the scale and the BMI chart disagree. When in doubt, listen to the jeans, not the scale!

    • Aunty Mamo

      Tomorrow marks two weeks since surgery day and while I'm feeling remarkably well and going about just about every normal activity, I did wind up with a surface abscess on on of my incision sights and was put on an antibiotic that made me so impacted that it took me more than two hours to eliminate yesterday and scared the hell out of me. Now there's Miralax in all my beverages that aren't Smooth Move tea. I cannot experience that again. I shouldn't have to take Ativan to go to the lady's. I really looking forward to my body getting with the program again. 
      I'm in day three of the "puree" stage of eating and despite the strange textures, all of the savory flavors seem decadent. 
      I timed this surgery so that I'd be recovering during my spring break. That was a good plan. Today is a state holiday and the final day of break. I feel really strong to return to school tomorrow. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Now that I'm in maintenance mode, I'm getting a into a routine for my meals. Every day, I start out with 8-16 ounces of water, and then a proffee, which I have come to look forward to even the night before. My proffees are simply a black coffee with a protein powder added. There are three products that I cycle through: Premier Vanilla, Orgain Vanilla, and Dymatize Vanilla.
      For second breakfast on workdays, I will have a low-fat yogurt with two tablespoons of PBFit and two teaspoons of no sugar added dried cherries. I will have ingested 35-45 grams of protein at this point between the two breakfasts, with 250-285 calories, and about 20 carbs.
      For second breakfast on non-workdays, I will prepare two servings of plain, instant oatmeal with a tablespoon of an olive oil-based spread. This means I will have had 34 grams of protein, 365 calories, and 38 carbs. Non-workdays are when I am being very active with training sessions, so I allow myself more carbohydrate fuel.
      Snacks on any day are always mixed nuts, even when I am travelling. I will have 0.2 cups of a blend that I make myself. It consists of dry roasted peanuts, cashews, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, pistachios, and Brazil nuts. This is 5 grams of protein, 163 calories, and 7 carbs.
      Breakfast and snacks have been the easiest to nail down. Lunch and dinner have more variables, and I prepare enough for leftovers. I concentrate on protein first, and then add vegetables. Typically tempeh, tofu, or Field Roast products with roasted or sautéed vegetables. Today, I will be eating leftovers from last night. Two ounces of tempeh with four ounces of roasted vegetables that consist of red and yellow sweet peppers, sweet potatoes, small purple potatoes, zucchini, and carrots. I will add a tablespoon of olive oil-based spread, break up 3 walnuts to sprinkle of top, and garnish with two tablespoons of grated Parmesan cheese. This particular meal will be 19 grams of protein, 377 calories, and 28 grams of carbs. Bear in mind that I do eat more carbs when I am not working, and I focus on ingesting healthy carbs instead of breads/crackers/chips/crisps.
      It's a helluva journey and I'm thankful to be on it!
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×