I'm a Christian and I have chosen not to tell anyone except close family that I have been sleeved. I share the pre-op diet (that resulted in more than half of my weight loss to date) and that I am keeping my calorie intake low, protein intake of at least 60 g and water intake of at least 64oz. All of this is true, but I still feel funny when people ask me about me about my transformation or say that I have inspired them to do better. We all know that this surgery is only a tool and that life after surgery is still hard and that we still have to work at it. So why do I feel, for lack of a better word, guilty, about not sharing that I had the sleeve? Has anyone else experienced this? If so, how are you feeling and how are you dealing with it?

Gimme a break.

I haven't had any type of surgery yet, so my opinion is based solely on proposed hypotheticals I've discussed with my mom.

And at first I was really upset when she made a comment about me telling a random stranger (for example, a waiter at a restaurant), because it was none of their damn business, in my opinion! But then I did some more reflecting and I realized my initial upset was because I was ashamed. Not ashamed of getting the surgery (or wanting to get it), but ashamed of myself for letting me get to a point where I was uncomfortable in my own skin even if people thought I looked fine and held my weight well.

It comes down to it not being about what other people think at all! So, if you feel like you're lying/"being a bad Christian" (which, in my opinion, this is a long way from such a classification), then do what makes you feel better. If telling people will do that, DO IT! But what you have gone through is your journey alone. You chose this and it is yours. You can do with it what you will.

Some people prefer the exclusion truth way. Tell them you've been controlling your eating, increasing your exercising, whatever it is you're doing. But unless they are specifically asking you if you had surgery, they DON'T need to know and you DON'T need to tell them if you're uncomfortable with it. That being said, if someone DOES ask you if you had surgery, what will you choose to tell them then?

Only do what you're comfortable with. Always.

TeamMe, this is something I've struggled with as I contemplate surgery. A large part of my faith is trying to live as I think Christ would and trying to have integrity in all my doings. Right now, the way I see it is that a change in your diet and lifestyle are why you've had the success you have had. If someone compliments us on our complexion, we don't feel the need to tell them our beauty regime; if someone compliments my disposition, I don't feel the need to tell them I take antidepressants. Certainly if someone asked me directly, I'd tell them but other than that it is between me and God. I speak the truth but I don't always have to tell the whole story that led to the truth. In my case, I've asked God to very clearly convict me if I'm outside His will in keeping it from others and until I feel that heavenly kick in the pants, I'm resting easy. Best wishes for determining what's best for you and your relationship with God.

I made my decision not to tell very many people based on the fact that I don't think we need to tell people everything. My weight has always been such a private issue/struggle. I did notice after my surgery how many people discuss weight and how desperate friends were to find out what I was doing differently. I didn't lie, I told them that I cut out all carbs and was exercising regularly. I may one day choose to share my story, but two years post op and it is still something that I don't feel I need everyone to know.

Just because I choose to keep my private medical information private, that does not make me a liar. It's your medical history. If you had herpes, HIV, colon cancer, or any other medical condition, would you feel obligated to disclose it?

I have only told two people about my WLS, my husband and my best friend. I have not felt compelled to tell anyone else. When asked about my weight loss, I tell them the things listed above re:diet, exercise etc. I sometimes feel guilty not telling other obese acquaintances because I think they could use this tool too. Then I think, well, I didn't know anyone personally that had WLS and I researched it on my own.

We all have different levels of comfort in sharing personal information. I don't think God expects us to share everything about ourselves with everyone. You will have to do what is comfortable for you, and God loves you either way, whether you share or not.

@@TeamMe

No, not even a twinge of guilt. I'm far enough out from surgery and have lost enough to be obvious and it doesn't matter to me who knows what about anything.

Acquaintances who comment about my transformation, get the "just working on getting healthy" response. Sometimes they might inquire further, in which I'll do the big reveal that I try to stay at 800 calories a day and exercise regularly. So far no one has asked any further questions.

Thanks everyone! I felt a lot better just posting the question last night. Now I feel even better about the responses. You're right. I'm not lying. My medical information is my business. I am eating healthier, exercising, watching my calorie intake and trying to be healthier in general and that's that! Thank you so much for your support!

The bible says our bodies are a temple. Well you don't go to your Temple (place of worship) and disrespect it or eat junk in it or throw trash around do you? NO! So why should we treat our temple (our body) like trash? We should keep it the best we can and as clean as we can and as healthy as we can. The surgery isn't going to send you to hell and it's not being dishonest! It's frankly no ones business! You have shared how you lost the weight and like you said it IS true, just because you don't offer the entire details doesn't make you dishonest. It is after all a medical thing so that constitutes as keeping it confidential.

TeamMe

I have been feeling what you are saying.

I too am a Christian...Jesus is everything to me.

I lost weight on a system of products I represent (67 ponds)

I even won 2nd place in a challenge..

Trouble is, I gained 40 of it back..

This yoyoing will stop!! The products I represent DO work.. But my weight problems are a bit deeper.. I NEED a smaller tummy....PERIOD!!! I just get too hungry..

So, what I plan on doing after surgery:

When I meet with someone about my business or products I represent.. I will tell them about our weight loss product system.. But I will listen more than I talk... If they are 20-40 pounds overweight, I will not tell them about my surgery.

If they are obese, and have had lots of struggles like me, I will tell them. My goal in life is to help others.. If telling them will help them.. So be it.

I will ask the Holy Spirit to guide me.

But.. That being said...

It REALLY IS nobody's business.. My husband helped me with this.

And the changes we have to make to work with our sleeve is real. Some people can make those changes without a sleeve....some people can't.

God bless

Heidi

Choosehope,

I love what u wrote

I understand not telling anyone,I am the same way. People who know that you had weight loss surgery act as if you do not have to work to loss weight, as if you took the easy way out and as if it doesn't count. You are talked about either way so I just keep my business to myself and as for now I feel that even some of my family I wish that I had not told. Family as well as others treat you different and the more the weight fall the dislike shows. Love yourself more yourself more and just hold on to GOD's hand. He loves you no matter what weight we are , he is happy for us.

I'm a Christian and I have chosen not to tell anyone except close family that I have been sleeved. I share the pre-op diet (that resulted in more than half of my weight loss to date) and that I am keeping my calorie intake low, protein intake of at least 60 g and water intake of at least 64oz. All of this is true, but I still feel funny when people ask me about me about my transformation or say that I have inspired them to do better. We all know that this surgery is only a tool and that life after surgery is still hard and that we still have to work at it. So why do I feel, for lack of a better word, guilty, about not sharing that I had the sleeve? Has anyone else experienced this? If so, how are you feeling and how are you dealing with it?

As a Christian myself I encourage you to tell your church members that you had surgery. God has a perfect plan for you and this surgery was a part of that plan so you should praise God for it and show the member that as well. I know for myself the church member were an encouragement to me and would always tell me that if it is in Gods will it will happen. And it did within two months of putting the application inIi got surgery. God opened the door for me and you to get this surgery and take good care of the body he lend us.

There was a time not that long ago where people did not ask such intrusive personal questions of others.

Sigh. Now I feel old.

@@TeamMe, according to your reasoning, your screen name itself is unChristian. If your faith doesn't require you to provide your social security number and bank statements to everyone around you, why are you required to make your personal medical choices public matters? I can't fathom how being an individual is sinful.

Edited December 10, 201510 yr by WLSResources/ClothingExch